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To ask that if you don't work but your husband/partner does, do you get an allowance for clothes?

(133 Posts)
suebfg Tue 23-Apr-13 20:16:57

I recently stopped working and don't have money of my own coming in. I feel like I don't want to spend the money earned by DH on the 'nice to haves' - treats for myself etc.

How do you manage it in your households?

Bonsoir Thu 25-Apr-13 18:18:42

"Any scenario where one person has more money to spend on themselves than their partner is just unthinkable."

Really? Don't you think that if one partner has very little spare time (much less than the other partner), he/she might be entitled to have, for example, an expensive but time-efficient hobby? And that the other partner might think that was fair, given that he/she had much more time to hang out with friends and other low-key leisure activities?

TobyLerone Thu 25-Apr-13 18:21:10

DH absolutely works harder than I do, I want for nothing, so he deserves way more money.

Bonsoir Thu 25-Apr-13 18:26:59

My DP works very hard and has very little spare time. I do not resent his expensive hobbies (flying, ski-ing, personal trainer 2x a week) because my life is not as stressful.

merrymouse Thu 25-Apr-13 18:55:30

Unless it wasn't a joint decision for you not to work, and part of the deal was that you would forgo luxuries in order to finance your decision, I don't think it makes any difference whether you work or not.

You have to agree as a couple/family which things are necessities (eg how much you spend on your children, how much you spend on your house) and which items are luxuries.

Plan your budget together and be honest about your own needs and sympathetic about your partner's. Make sure you are both aware of your joint financial position. Financial arguments tend to happen when one or both partners have their heads in the sand.

BegoniaBampot Thu 25-Apr-13 18:57:11

yes but that is a hobby, i could equally spend the money on an expensive hobby if I wanted. If my hobbies are cheaper but i still get to do what I want then it isn't a problem. or if my husband was spending a lot on hobbies, especially if they took him away for a few days then he would be encouraging me to do similar.

Doubtfuldaphne Thu 25-Apr-13 20:42:49

Me and dh are properly old fashioned !
All the money goes in to his account ( I don't have one due to my terrible credit history and tendency to overspend) and he manages the bills and food and clothes etc
I get 20 a week ( we're on a low income ) and when i work ( I do casual work ) I also keep that money too.
Weird for some but it works for us!

BooksandaCuppa Thu 25-Apr-13 22:42:39

I agree to some extent with Bonsoir - dh and I have always had exactly equal 'pocket money' but there have been occasions when I've encouraged him to take extra money out of the savings for either expensive work suits or hobby equipment because he earns a lot more money than me (crucially) doing a job he hates and which is much more stressful than my lovely part-time one. I get more time with my friends/ds/to myself just mooching around.

The important point is that I feel we have equal say over where all our spare money goes/big purchases/reviewing pocket money allowances and always do our budgeting together.

DorisIsWaiting Thu 25-Apr-13 22:49:51

Dh and I have a joint pot for bills and all things child related and we each have a 'pocket money' account for things for ourselves which has £50 month (not much but it's what's reasonable on our income).

I can buy clothes get my hair cut, and dh buy tatty old books which he loves (and occasionally clothes when his are falling off him grin).

I manage most of the money and tell dh when we are moving ISA's etc for better rates.

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