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to feel like nobody cares about ME?

(51 Posts)
ariane5 Tue 23-Apr-13 09:43:27

Woke up this morning with something I get once every few months-severe dizziness and feeling sick. I literally dragged myself up and asked dh to take ds2 for me as I couldn't hold him without nearly falling over.

I felt so bad and was sick quite a bit so asked dh could he take the day off, take older 2 dcs to school and help me with dd2(3) and ds2 (1). He said no he has too much to do at work-jobs going out today and so much work to catch up with (he has a lot of time off anyway for dcs hosp appts). He phoned MIL asked her would she sit with me today/help out a bit, she said no she was busy today.

I asked my mum would she be able to take a day off (she's a ta in school where dcs attend) but she said no her jobs too important to miss a day.

I'm sitting here now on the sofa, tje room is spinning, ds2 is in the playpen and dd2 is playing. I want to go to sleep but dd2 has really unstable diabetes so can be fine one minute, hypo the next so I can't stop watching her.I feel like rubbish and can't believe that NOBODY would help me today, especially dm (I have helped her loads in past when dsis was ill so that she didn't have to leave work but recently stopped as it was too much for me)

AIBU to feel so annoyed? I feel completely let down sad

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 23-Apr-13 09:45:14

Have you seen a GP about this recurring condition? It's no good feeling sorry for yourself if you've not been for help. It's sad when you're stuck with the kids and feeling ill...and you;'re naturally feeling down...but as an adult you have to get yourself checked out.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 23-Apr-13 09:46:11

Plus your DH and MUm are right...their jobs ARE important. They can't exactly take a day off whenever you're ill.

ariane5 Tue 23-Apr-13 09:47:29

Yes, I've had it for years, the gp said it was something to do with my ears affecting balance and causing nausea/vomiting.

They prescribed stemetil last time but it made me too drowsy and actually felt worse, it usually lasts a couple of days then goes but its really severe the first day.

UnChartered Tue 23-Apr-13 09:48:19

brew for you

sorry everyone close to you is unable to help you out today, but they probably do have a point re; paid jobs to go to

but that's not the main problem here - have you been to GP about this dizziness? if not, why not? and if so, what did they say?

and DDs diabetes, why is that so unstable? i don't understand how she can fluctuate so rapidly, is she being seen regularly too?

dimsum123 Tue 23-Apr-13 09:49:00

You poor thing. YANBU. Is there a friend you could ask? I know how you feel. I've had times when I've been so ill my gp wanted to admit me to hosp immediately but I couldn't go as I had to mind the kids and DH refused to take a day off work.

Sorry I'm not much help. Perhaps try mil again and see if she can come a bit later?

ariane5 Tue 23-Apr-13 09:49:20

I havnt asked dm to take a day off for me before sad and I've helped her so many times in the past to enable her to not need time off when dsis ill I just thought she would return the favour.
Its more that I'm worried about looking after dcs in this state than anything else.

undercoversahm Tue 23-Apr-13 09:49:43

yadnbu to feel sorry for yourself. We all need help from others now and again when we are ill. I agree that you should get this checked out if it is recurrent but also I think that your family should take more responsibility when you are ill. Have you impressed upon them in words of one syllable how you feel?

For me, it would be a deal breaker if my DH could not be relied upon when I was ill. How will it be when you are old?

Have you a friend who could take the children today, and you could return the favour another time? Otherwise, do you know any nannies you could pay to take your two for a bit today? Take care and make sure that your DC are in safe places at all times in case you do actually pass out with your dizziness.

I actually think your current situation sounds dangerous if one DC has uncontrolled diabetes. Not sure what you can do though sad apart from demand your DH comes home and risk the consequences for your relationship longer term if he doesn't....

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 23-Apr-13 09:49:43

My sister has had it too OP....it's undoubtedly horrid but you'd be better off looking for some sort of local childminder who can be called on in times of emergency....your children will be at school eventually and it will get easier. Labarynthitis I think my sister's condition is.

badguider Tue 23-Apr-13 09:49:44

Actually I think your DH should take the day off - his usual childcare provider for his children is unable to look after them safely. His employer needs to give him emergency leave to sort out a back up.
Your mum's employer however is not obliged to do the same.

ariane5 Tue 23-Apr-13 09:51:12

She was diagnosed in dec but it has been really hard to control, we are carb counting now but she's still having hypos. We see the consultant and dsn a lot but they said the first 6 mths to a year are sometimes like this and they think she will be better on a pump.

UnChartered Tue 23-Apr-13 09:51:18

x-post with everyone else smile

stemetil is a very good drug for treating vertigo, but if your are px'd something and it doesn't suit, you should go back and tell the GP

WaynettaSlobsLover Tue 23-Apr-13 09:52:50

That's disgusting nobody would help you. I think it's general society these days though, it's everyone for themselves. Just take it easy and remember there will be days in these people's lives when they feel awful and need help from YOU. Whether you choose to give it or not will be your choice though.

I'm just sorry you feel bad. Make sure you get some blood tests done to check for vitamin D deficiency and anaemia, as well as monitoring your diet and any possible triggers.

dimsum123 Tue 23-Apr-13 09:54:02

I've recently had labyrinthitis. There is no treatment, but it passes with time. It is absolutely HORRIBLE. One of the worst things I've ever suffered from.

PoppyWearer Tue 23-Apr-13 09:54:51

I'm sorry to hear you aren't feeling well. I had some bad health in the last six months of last year and had to do the school run in crippling pain at times. It was horrid. I had to grit my teeth and push through it.

But yes, my DH does have to go to work and I couldn't expect him or anyone else to drop everything for me. He came home early when he could, and took time off when I had an operation.

Regarding the older DCs (at school) it sounds like you need to build a bit of a support network. Can you do some school runs or play dates for friends of theirs whilst you feel well, to build up some goodwill, so that if you're not well you might be able to call in some favours? If you explain the situation to other parents and get some mobile numbers? I helped some other mums last term and now, this term, when we have hit a rough patch with health, I have had a few offers to help with school runs in return. It's been lovely to know people are there for us if we need them.

Hope you feel better soon.

ariane5 Tue 23-Apr-13 09:55:21

Only dh and I can currently do dd2 injections etc so nobody else can really have her. My mum has done her bg checks and an injection once but I have nobody else.

Dh works for his brother, new business etc so if the work doesn't get done /go out they don't get paid and he won't get his wages so he hasn't got much choice and he has had so much time off for dcs hosp appts recently as well.
We have rent/bills etc we need paying. Dm owns her own house etc and has minimal outgoings so although not ideal a day off wouldn't have impacted her as much-even so I did offer to pay her what she would lose but she still said no sad

turkeyboots Tue 23-Apr-13 09:58:08

Do you get ringing in your ears as well? It might be Meniere's disease which the right drugs and diet (no salt no caffeine) can help. I'd push your GP for ENT consultation.

Dizziness is a misery, though and so sorry that you have no help. Am currently laid in bed with attack of vertigo myself and v grateful that DH is working from home to look after everyone.

ariane5 Tue 23-Apr-13 10:02:28

No ringing in ears at all. The day before I always feel a tiny bit dizzy (fell over yest!) And then wake up with everything spinning and feeling very sick.

It only lasts a day or two usually but is horrible.I suppose I will just have to sit down when dcs allow it, put up weith the throwing up and hope its better tomorrow.

Mil has annoyed me the most she doesn't even work and refused to help. Dh was so annoyed with her (he helps her out a LOT).

turkeyboots Tue 23-Apr-13 10:08:26

Poor you, my DM thinks I make it up as "how bad can a bit of dizziness be"? So get no help from her. MIL is politer but still no help either.

Hope it passes soon.

UnChartered Tue 23-Apr-13 10:12:02

ok, you're pissed off because no-one had given you the help you need, but how about you make an appt with your GP and get some other meds sorted out?

if you are talking about no-one caring about you, when you aren't caring for yourself really

ariane5 Tue 23-Apr-13 10:15:37

I couldn't even get to gp safely with both dcs. I don't drive and would not be able to manage on the bus.

Its safer and easier to stay in till it passes sad

ariane5 Tue 23-Apr-13 10:16:42

Forgot to add-still bf so only thing gp would prescribe before was stemetil.

UnChartered Tue 23-Apr-13 10:17:49

GPs can do home visits or telephone appts.....

WaynettaSlobsLover Tue 23-Apr-13 10:20:35

Depends on the availability of the GP though Unchartered.

Mine are useless, as are the midwives here, so wouldn't be able to get a home visit unless I was at deaths door. Maybe the OPs are as bad. And it's very hard to care for yourself with young dc's, believe me.

UnChartered Tue 23-Apr-13 10:27:54

so, what do YOU suggest then, WSL?

and i'm very aware of how hard it is with young DCs smile

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