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AIBU?

To think I wasn't in the wrong here? (Soft play woman)

90 replies

AnneNonimous · 22/04/2013 17:50

I am entering the realms of soft play with DS now he can walk. Today me and a friend took our DC's to a local soft play. It's quite big so pretty expensive with a separate section for children under 3 and a huge play place for older kids.

I took DS (just turned 1) into the younger section where a woman came in with her son who looked a good few years older than 3. He decided he wanted to make a house with all the soft blocks in the area (and I mean ALL of them) and proceeded to do so while his mum sat reading a magazine. DS already has a thing for joining in with the older boys so toddled over to play and the little boy stopped him from touching any of the blocks. He followed DS around blocking all the soft play equipment. I waited for the mum to say something but she just stared at my DS as if she was expecting me to stop him. After a few minutes I led him away and said loudly 'come on DS some boys aren't taught to share' to which his mum replied 'oh do shut up he's playing with them'.

I told her since he was too big to even be in that area and my son is 1 years old I would have expected him to be able to share SOME of the equipment that was in there. She went back to her magazine and completely ignored me.

It was my first time at one of these places but I have a hard time believing that that's how they work!!

WIBU or was she??

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district12 · 22/04/2013 17:55

Wow, she was , completely.

WipsGlitter · 22/04/2013 17:56

I would have spoken to the staff.

Fudgemallowdelight · 22/04/2013 17:57

YANBU. She was.

WilsonFrickett · 22/04/2013 17:57

Yeah, she was massively U, but what did you expect her to say?

You (loudly): come away DS, some boys aren't taught to share?
Her: OMG you are so totally right, I am a terrible parent, DS drop those bricks immediately???

The trouble with loud PA statements is they don't leave anywhere for the other person to go. Except to the land of cross.

Plomdenume · 22/04/2013 17:58

Erm, rather than being passive aggressive you could have asked the boy ' can my baby have one of the blocks please' or 'is it alright if he has a turn?' Frankly neither of you were modelling good social skills.

NoWayNoHow · 22/04/2013 17:58

Next time, get the staff involved. She was B COMPLETELY U.

Coconutty · 22/04/2013 17:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnneNonimous · 22/04/2013 17:59

It's true, I didn't really need to be so PA but I just felt like she had plenty of opportunity to do something about her DS and clearly didn't want to.

OP posts:

BlackholesAndRevelations · 22/04/2013 17:59

What Plom said.

YoniLovesChachi · 22/04/2013 17:59

You were a bit rude. You could have said "Can he have a go with the blocks please?" to the boy. You weren't actually trying to tell a 1 year old that the boy was being unkind, you were pretending to in order to whinge about it to his mum. Most children hate being pulled up for bad behaviour by strange adults, so you could have nipped it in the bud.

Besides, the boy might have looked big but wouldn't have been much older than 3 or he'd have been at school.

LifeSavedbyLego · 22/04/2013 17:59

I think you were both being completely unreasonable. Why couldn't you have asked the boy to give your ds some?

Fudgemallowdelight · 22/04/2013 18:00

Yes Plomdenume's suggestion would have been better actually

getoffthecoffeetable · 22/04/2013 18:01

I agree with plome also, just because the boy looked well over three doesn't necessarily mean he was, some kids are just tall for their age.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 22/04/2013 18:01

Yeah she was being unreasonable but you didn't handle it the best way.

AllOverIt · 22/04/2013 18:01

You were not being unreasonable until you started passive aggressively muttering. I HATE that. For that YABU.

Next time, if it ever happened again, ask the boy to let your DS play with some of the bricks, and see what he says.

I much prefer to be upfront.

SauvignonBlanche · 22/04/2013 18:01

YW both BU.
Your PA remark wasn't going to help.

sherazade · 22/04/2013 18:01

I think you were being mean to say some boys aren't taught to share in the presence of a child old enough to understand. I would have said to the child, kindly, please can my ds play with you etc and given a don't mess with me look whilst at it rather than make a nasty comment within his or his parents earshot. Or I would have asked the mum, can you get your ds to pass mine some of the blocks?. If someone had made a sideways comment about my kid I would have told them to shut up too- she was reading a magazine, how do you know that she saw what was going on?

PurpleThing · 22/04/2013 18:01

What Wilson said.

She was wrong not to encourage him to let others play and if he was older (older children can look huge if you have a baby) they should have gone in the bigger bit. But what you said wasn't going to lead anywhere positive.

LifeSavedbyLego · 22/04/2013 18:01

Thinking about it I'd divided the blocks in half myself and firmly looked the boy in the eye and said "now you've both got some and that's fair". But then I'm a trifle arsey.

EarlyInTheMorning · 22/04/2013 18:02

She was unreasonable, definitely, but oh my god your comment would have pissed me right off. Quit the passive aggressive tone and simply ask next time.

Fudgemallowdelight · 22/04/2013 18:02

Yes, good point, he must have been a preschooler.

Madamecastafiore · 22/04/2013 18:03

Why would you teach your kid to make rude snidey comments rather than be polite and ask openly for what you want.

I would have told you to ask my son to share and then expect you to come to me if you didn't get the desired outcome.

As it is you have taught no one anything about social interaction and sharing. Just how to be extremely childish!

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plantsitter · 22/04/2013 18:03

It would've been ok to talk to the boy directly I think. Maybe other mother was b.u. but you need a tough skin for soft play.

Enfyshedd · 22/04/2013 18:03

I would have spoken to a member of staff and pointed out the boy was too old to be in that section. The only time ever I've been to a soft play was for a friend's DD's birthday, and while I was looking after my then 9 1/2 mo DD in the LO's section, I was telling any children who looked over 3 (mainly 6yo DSS2 and the little gang he managed to accumulate) that this was the babies section and they were supposed to be in the other section. There was a boy & girl aged about 8-10 in the baby/toddler section who didn't leave when I asked them why they were in there, but they politely told me they were watching their little brother (abt 2) and they were behaving around the LO's.

AnneNonimous · 22/04/2013 18:03

I'm only sure he was older than 3 because he looked a lot older and acted a lot older. Unless he was big AND advanced for his age which is possible but the mum didn't correct me.

Point taken though, I need to learn to handle these situations better if I'm going to go to these places. He's my PFB and this is all new to me, still finding it hard to not take it personally when kids are mean to him lol!

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