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AIBU to comment on this person's use of disabalist language on fb?

(11 Posts)
Shaky Mon 22-Apr-13 13:03:49

I know you all hate FB threads, but this has got on my nerves.

A "friend" of mine on fb wrote about not being able to get on a bus as "some fucking retard" hadn't folded up her buggy.

I commented "*some fucking retard* is a disgraceful thing to say."

I probably should have ignored and moved on but got round to thinking, if she had posted a comment like that on here she would have been eaten alive.

GruffaloAteMySocks Mon 22-Apr-13 13:04:58

No, I work for MENCAP. The only way to change people's attitudes is to challenge bigotry when you see it.

Shaky Mon 22-Apr-13 13:08:22

The irony is that this person used to be a nursery nurse, looking after my son. I'm glad that she doesn't work there anymore!

GruffaloAteMySocks Mon 22-Apr-13 13:09:49

I trained as a nursery nurse, one of the people on my course posted a status calling a girl she didn't like a 'downy' and I happily reported her to my tutor. Apparently I wasn't the only one either. I wouldn't trust someone to be around children if they think that kind of bigotry is acceptable.

MortifiedAdams Mon 22-Apr-13 13:10:40

I would have said (1) "fucking retard" is an awful thing to say you should be ashamed of yourself and (2) the one ON the bus doesnt need to fold their buggy - the extras trying to get on DO.

Then deleted them.

JumpingJackSprat Mon 22-Apr-13 13:11:45


manicinsomniac Mon 22-Apr-13 13:12:27

I might have messaged her, I wouldn't have commented. She may not know. I've called loads of children onc alling each other retards and they are always really surprised to find out what they are saying, they think it's another word for stupid (not that I'm ok with them calling each other stupid either!)

I know adults should know better but I'm not talking about young children and if you don't get told then I guess you never find out.

Shaky Mon 22-Apr-13 13:14:24

Exactly Gruffalo

If she was still working there I would have shown it to her boss.

Shaky Mon 22-Apr-13 13:18:59

I suppose I commented instead of messaging so it could be seen that using such horrible terms is not acceptable.

manicinsomniac Mon 22-Apr-13 13:24:17

true. Though your comment won't help her if she doesn't know, she'll think you're referring to 'fucking' rather than 'retard'.

Reminds me of a kid I taught when I was working in a very religious school. We were on a bus and he shouted, "Jesus H Christ, look at that tractor."(city estate, they didn't get out much!) I raised my eyebrows and just said 'language!' and he looked at me bemused and said "which word was wrong? Is tractor swearing?" I couldn't help laughing.

So I think calling people on things is fine but I always explain why, not just say they're being disgusting, especially as you quoted that "fucking retard" was disgusting, not "retard" and mosre people would think of "fucking" as being the inappropriate word.

And I would choose to message because, assuming the person doesn't know, it could be embarrassing for them to be calle don it publicy.

Shaky Mon 22-Apr-13 14:12:14

Good point manic

Maybe I should have written "the word "retard" is a disabalist term that many people find offensive"

She has replied to my comment by saying, "no, that was me being polite, the woman was disgraceful"


I have not responded, I don't want to get into a row.

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