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Mixed race

(160 Posts)
Doubtfuldaphne Sun 21-Apr-13 21:50:11

A silly question really..
Aibu to tick 'mixed race' on my dd's forms? My dh is half Asian half English .. He always just ticks 'white' but I feel a bit sad that he's not acknowledging his Asian background. For my dd I usually tick 'mixed'
It's not all about box ticking.. It's more acknowledging my dd's heritage..

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 21-Apr-13 21:53:58

He is perfectly ok to self define his own ethnic status yabu

redskyatnight Sun 21-Apr-13 21:55:28

My DC have same sort of ethnic mix. I kind of think ethnicity on forms is ridiculous these days when so many people (esp children) have such a mixed background that it's hard to know how to describe it.

So ... I tend to think about why the form is asking. If it's a place that might get a grant for higher number of minority ethnic groups (and I'd like the place to have more money) I will tick mixed race (though then I get odd looks for blonde blue eyed DS). If I think the form is just being nosy, I'll refuse to disclose or put "British". Actually I never do put "white", though I can see that might be what the DC choose when they are old enough to be doing the forms themselves.

Doubtfuldaphne Sun 21-Apr-13 21:56:13

That's not the question though!

YoniRaver Sun 21-Apr-13 21:56:58

Its up to him, though I never tick any ethnic origin boxes at all unless it is needed information ie medical when I was pregnant

I dont think its information thats needed

Doubtfuldaphne Sun 21-Apr-13 21:57:29

Thanks redsky

amazinsammie Sun 21-Apr-13 21:57:30

Hi. I guess I'm going to be a bit controversial here my children (3childrem 2 fathers) are of mixed heritage including my own. I always tick the other box as they are not of mixed race they are of mixed heritage. In my eyes there is only one race and that is the human race. But that's just my beliefs. Also why are box ticking so important is some situations.

wannabedomesticgoddess Sun 21-Apr-13 21:59:32

So your DD is 1/4 Asian.

YANBU to tick mixed race. Your DH may define his ethnicity however he likes, but if you feel that your DDs ethnicity should be acknowledged then you are within your rights too.

wannabedomesticgoddess Sun 21-Apr-13 22:01:15

Btw, I hate the boxes. I live in N.Ireland and I usually tick other. I only tick the relevant background if its actually important.

Doubtfuldaphne Sun 21-Apr-13 22:02:16

Well our latest one was for hospital admission so that's why it came up - for other things I do wonder why they need to know.
I may have put too much emphasis on box ticking here- I think what I wa s meaning was if my dh doesn't class himself as mixed race very often then is my dd?! I know it shouldn't matter but I do wonder sometimes where you draw the line because really... Isn't everyone mixed race somewhere down the line? confused

currentbuns Sun 21-Apr-13 22:07:43

Op, what percentage would you say is needed to constitute a mixed race heritage? If your dc were to have children in the future with white partners, for example, would their 1/8 Asian dc still be mixed race? (Just curious, by the way, not attempting to make any sort of point)

forehead Sun 21-Apr-13 22:08:51

Your husband is half Asian, but describes himself as white.
I am not sure i would be comfortable about the fact that he refuses to
acknowledge his Asian ancestry,

Doubtfuldaphne Sun 21-Apr-13 22:12:03

Currentbuns, that was kind of my question really- where does it stop being mixed race?!
Dh has his reasons- long story

redskyatnight Sun 21-Apr-13 22:16:09

Why on earth not forehead? Ethnicity is (in part at least) about the group in which you identify and consider yourself to belong to. I don't know about OP's DH but I've lived in this country all of my life and know next to nothing about my "Asian heritage" (in part because my Asian parent chooses not to talk about it as they consider themselves to be purely British). I actually wouldn't call myself white but would consider myself (other than my physical appearance) to have more in common with that ethnic group than most of the standard "other" choices.

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Sun 21-Apr-13 22:21:29

these forms frustrate me..
DH is Chinese..
the options on forms don't ever allow for my children to be white European/Chinese mixed.
I am happy to put other, but Chinese was an option and white European was an option so why not be blended.

CloudsAndTrees Sun 21-Apr-13 22:26:31

I am mixed race, but I usually tick white British. I am pretty much white, and I'm British, so that's good enough for me. I don't think it matters for the vast majority of things that ask.

currentbuns Sun 21-Apr-13 22:26:35

Yes, given the ambiguity as to where the line is drawn, I suppose it really does come down to self-identification.

ThePathanKhansAmnesiac Sun 21-Apr-13 22:26:43

I never tick any of those boxes. I know that the reasoning is to check fair take up, targeting of resources etc.., but they just make me feel uneasy.
All this info..just presuming we always have a fairly liberal consensus and benign government.
Fuck it, when they come for me they,ll have to guess my ethnicitygrin.

quesadilla Sun 21-Apr-13 22:26:48

Yes I have this problem too: I am white Brutush and my DH is South American of mainly but probably not exclusively white European origin as he comes from a place where most people don't know (and don't care much) about their ethnic origin. So I have no way of knowing decisively whether my DD has non-white European ethnicity. And even if I did there wouldn't be a box to tick which would reflect this complexity.
I personally don't give a toss about it and I think it is largely arse covering ethnic monitoring by councils paranoid about being taken to court for discrimination. I don't think it really matters at the end of the day and if people massage or gloss over their racial heritage it may just have more to do with life being too short to care about it than lack of pride in their background.

quesadilla Sun 21-Apr-13 22:27:25

White British even (and Brutish).

Astley Sun 21-Apr-13 22:33:22

My DC are a quarter non white British, but still European white. I always put mixed as the other option is 'White British' and they are not fully white British so I don't want to put something I know not to be true.

Obviously if the form allows you to tick 2 boxes I tick white British and the other European ethnic group. Mainly these forms are for medical reasons so it would feel very wrong to me to out something clearly false when the reason for asking may be genetic conditions that my DC are more likely to have due to the other ethnicity.

Southeastdweller Sun 21-Apr-13 22:41:07

I'm also mixed race and I always tick the mixed box. I'm not white British so why would I tick that box? Feeling confused by clouds and the OP's DH who are also mixed race and tick the white box.

FarBetterNow Sun 21-Apr-13 22:41:56

I know I am white British, but I generally tick 'other'.
I think it is actually racist to ask one's ethnicity on forms.

I am always really interested in why people came to the UK, but I cannot ask for fear of being accused of racism.

DontSHOUTTTTTT Sun 21-Apr-13 22:42:24

I think people are over thinking this one. It's a little box, tick it if you want, don't tick it if you don't want to. It REALLY doesn't matter. (Unless it is for medical reasons wink )

Ticking a box is usually meaningless. I don't think it acknowledges diddly squat.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm Sun 21-Apr-13 23:02:54

"I think it is actually racist to ask one's ethnicity on forms.

I am always really interested in why people came to the UK, but I cannot ask for fear of being accused of racism."

The utter insanity...........confused

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