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to think that my dh wouldn't be so laid back about bedtimes if he was the one who had to get them up for school in the morning

(62 Posts)
chocoholic05 Sun 21-Apr-13 21:30:39

dh obviously can't take them to school because he has to leave for work at 630. The dc are a nightmare to get up in the morning and to get ready. I therefore want them to go to bed at a reasonable time. However every night dh is the same. Saying its only 7 or 730 or 745 or whatever. aaah its so frustrating! angry

chocoholic05 Tue 23-Apr-13 11:42:21

well last night was really not a typical evening as he wasn't feeling too good after dental treatment so I think he would have agreed to anything tbh! I also think he was only too happy to get them off to bed. In the nicest possible way! Also I explained to him what they were like yesterday morning and I was just more assertive and firm than usual! grin Especially regarding no tv after bath time.

StuntGirl Tue 23-Apr-13 11:35:19

Oh lovely chocoholic, I'm glad. It will benefit your boys loads, which is the main thing! How did you get your husband onside?

chocoholic05 Tue 23-Apr-13 10:45:23

although I do think that the fact that ds1 was doing something at school today that he was really excited about probably helped a lot!

SpanishFly Tue 23-Apr-13 10:43:14

isnt it interesting how JUST the right amount of sleep completely changes their moods?
Glad you had an easier - sounds easier than most of my mornings smile

chocoholic05 Tue 23-Apr-13 09:45:37

The boys got up so much earlier this morning 655 and 7 and willingly too! They got dressed with no stress and arguments no grumpiness because of tiredness. They were ready on time we left on time and we got to school on time! All without the usual stress hassle and nagging that I normally have to do every morning! I didn't think such a morning was even possible long may it continue! !!grin smile

chocoholic05 Mon 22-Apr-13 19:48:09

well ds2 asleep by 730 maybe earlier and ds1 asleep by 745! smile result I think!

YoniRaver Mon 22-Apr-13 17:00:37

When we were struggling with DS getting ready in the morning (just dawdling and getting waylaid) we found it helped to do a time chart. Get them to help you make it something simple like

Bath x time

Story x time

Bed x time


So it was there in black and white what happened at what time

If this fails use it to batter your DH

Doubtitsomehow Mon 22-Apr-13 16:49:41

let us know how you get on tonight OP...

Snazzynewyear Mon 22-Apr-13 16:38:34

Can he try and alternate nights working till 'normal' time and nights where he gets away on the dot so that he can get home earlier and have a bit more time with them? Or even agree that one night only every week they can stay up a bit later (pref. Friday...) but the other nights they have to be earlier to bed? One late night would not trouble them as much if they were regularly getting good nights of sleep.

PeterParker's suggestion is also worth considering - switch the day around so they get their dad time at the start.

9 is definitely too late for a reception age child who has to get up at that time, and even 8 is on the late side compared to my DS. The DC must feel wretchedly tired, and it must be affecting their school performance and moods - remind your DH of all this.

PeterParkerSays Mon 22-Apr-13 15:13:39

My DH leave for work at 6.25. DS (3) used to sit on the landing and cry quietly to himself that his dad had gone out of the house whilst he was still asleep, so if DS hasn't woken up by 6.15, i'll get him up to see his dad before he goes to work.

You could do the same - everyone up at 6.15 to have breakfast with dad... grin

If you asked DH what time the children should be asleep, what would he say? Work back from that time together: Neville reads for 15 minutes, Lucas needs 2 stories, which takes 20 minutes, bath takes 20 minutes etc. to an agreed start time for getting ready for bed.

RenterNomad Mon 22-Apr-13 14:57:20

Your H is being a twat, then. It would be great if he had to drag the kids out of bed at HIS getting-up time: isn't there an important pre-school errand coming up...? wink

He may be their parent, too, but that doesn't entitle him to undermine you about the tv and bedtime business, especially if the kids are tired.

Have you got a parents' evening coming up, at which the teachers could be primed to speak up on this subject?

Doubtitsomehow Mon 22-Apr-13 12:32:08

You are just going to have to set some rules and stick to them. It's not just about what your DH wants. It's about your kids' well being.

I'm not surprised your reception aged child is knackered. Going to bed at 9 and getting up at 7.15 is late for a child of that age.

Get it sorted, op. put your kids first and tell your DH this is how it's going to be. Ask him to work with you to ensure that your kids have the sleep they need to be healthy, to have sufficient energy for school and to be able to learn.

chocoholic05 Mon 22-Apr-13 12:27:23

oh and he is still my dh! He may irritate me sometimes but I love him really! smile

chocoholic05 Mon 22-Apr-13 12:25:49

well it varies immensely so no consistency really but a good night nearer 8 asleep by 830 or ay worse 830 asleep by 9. Bear in mind that my reception child is finding school very tiring. He often won't eat his tea because he is so tired however my dh often doesn't see that either especially as on days like that I trut to give him his tea early. It's strange he perks up as soon as dh walks in!

Sugarice Mon 22-Apr-13 12:10:35

You still haven't said what time they go to bed if your H lets them stay up, just curious.

Squitten Mon 22-Apr-13 10:20:56

Good for you OP - good luck and be strong!

It sucks being the working parent who doesn't get to spend much time with the kids but the kids can't be allowed to suffer just so the working parent can feel better. Make sure your DH is fully involved with the bedtime routine and does the baths and the stories, etc.

livinginwonderland Mon 22-Apr-13 10:04:39

it seems to be like he wants it to be later so he can see his kids. it must be hard to be a parent and be at work all day, and to see your kids for thirty minutes when you get home and are still probably in "work mode".

chocoholic05 Mon 22-Apr-13 10:00:54

ok I need to be more assertive! starting tonight! smile

StuntGirl Mon 22-Apr-13 09:59:52

Does sound to me like its because he rarely gets to see them. That said is he actually doing anything with them or are they just 'there' while he is?

He's playing the 'fun dad' card and thats not fair on you. I agree with mortified, he does the bedtime routine from now on to allow him to spend some quality time with the kids and the kids to get a decent bed time!

chocoholic05 Mon 22-Apr-13 09:59:40

I often feel ganged up on!

KansasCityOctopus Mon 22-Apr-13 09:59:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chocoholic05 Mon 22-Apr-13 09:58:55

meant my boys know it obviously! I'm on the phone!

chocoholic05 Mon 22-Apr-13 09:56:37

since my dh started this job it varies for reasons i have already said. I'm not only battling against my boys reluctance to go to bed but I'm also battling against my dh and my boys no it and pick up on it!

Sugarice Mon 22-Apr-13 09:53:56

What time do they go to bed?

Squitten Mon 22-Apr-13 09:52:49

So take some control OP!

Why are you allowing this to continue when your DC's sleep is evidently suffering? Just tell your kids it's bedtime and get them upstairs! If your DH argues about it, tell him you'll discuss it after the kids are in bed and have the row later on. Assert yourself!

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