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WIBU to go away for a week and leave DH and DCs at home?

(20 Posts)
WookieWoo Sun 21-Apr-13 19:20:22

Just want some opinions and others' experiences.
My sister lives overseas with her two DCs. I see her pretty much every year when she comes back to visit for several weeks during the summer. I used to try to visit her every year but I haven't been able to go for the last two years, which I've felt really sad about as a lot has happened. I've had another baby (DC2), after a dreadful pregnancy which saw me hospitalised twice, she has separated from her DH and moved house. We are very close and speak a couple of times a week usually.
I would love to go and visit her later this year but my DH doesn't want to go - he doesn't want to use up annual leave as she will be here for 5 weeks in the summer so he will she her then. So I had thought about going on my own with the DCs (by November time they will be 4 years and 15 months). To be honest though I'm not sure I'm up for a long haul flight alone with them plus all the childcare while there (as DSis will be working most days). But then a friend suggested the other day that I go on my own. It hadn't occured to me at all, but it actually seems like a really tempting plan! DH is happy for me to go on my own, I'd go for one week, DH would continue to work but his parents will be retired by then and would be over the moon to be drafted in for some childcare during the day.
Sooo, would IBU to go? Has anyone done anything like this and regretted it due to missing DCs? Or have you done it and had a great time? Am I being a selfish cow wanting to have a jolly to the other side of the world on my own?

Any thoughts appreciated!

WhereYouLeftIt Sun 21-Apr-13 19:27:49

" DH is happy for me to go on my own, I'd go for one week, DH would continue to work but his parents will be retired by then and would be over the moon to be drafted in for some childcare during the day."
I really can't think of any reason for you to not go. Everybody will be happy.

1Catherine1 Sun 21-Apr-13 19:28:23

If your husband is happy for you to do it, your in laws are happy to have the kids, your sister is happy for you to visit and you are happy to go there really isn't a question...

Only you know if you are ready to leave your DC, I'm terribly OTT with my LO, to a fault - I've never left her more than a night (my wedding night) but my friend, who is a great mother, left her son for a week after she got married to go on her honeymoon. She and her DH missed him but they had a great time and their son enjoyed their time with their grandparents.

I often visit my family with my DD without my husband. I get more holidays a year than he does so when he's having a busy week and I'm off and missing my family, I just go.

Have fun!

deadduck Sun 21-Apr-13 19:29:03

Do it, and have fun. Done it lots of times, no regrets.

theoriginalandbestrookie Sun 21-Apr-13 19:33:51

YANBU, sounds great definitely go for it.

WookieWoo Sun 21-Apr-13 19:48:39

Thanks so much for your replies!

I don't need to book anything yet, but it's great to know that others would/have done the same!

I take the DCs all over the place in this country on my own and have gone to see DSis with DC1, but I just feel a bit bad about wanting to go completely on my own. I'm sure that will pass though, especially now I know other people don't think I'm horrible for wanting to do it!

Phineyj Sun 21-Apr-13 19:50:46


ovenchips Sun 21-Apr-13 19:53:30

Go! Go! Go!


Have a great time.

Pozzled Sun 21-Apr-13 19:54:13

Go. There's no reason not to, everyone will be happy with the arrangements and it's only a week.

MurderOfProse Sun 21-Apr-13 19:56:05

I took three nights away from my three back in January (6, 4 and nearly 2) on my own for the first time ever for a much needed break. DH took a day or two off work and they were at school/nursery on the third. The only comment I had from anyone (as I felt so guilty I felt obliged to tell even total strangers about my poor abandoned children!!) was a very genuine "good for you" grin

TallyGrenshall Sun 21-Apr-13 19:56:23


I did it last month and it was bloody wonderful. OH and DS had a great time and I relaxed properly for the first time in 4 years.

Have a great time

WookieWoo Sun 21-Apr-13 20:01:04

That's it....I'm going!!!

You know you need a break when the thought of sitting alone on an plane for 8 hours alone seems like bliss!

Woooooooo hoooooooo!

Thank you everyone!

Norem Sun 21-Apr-13 20:14:07

Go Go Go I have 5 kids and went transatlantic alone to my sisters wedding last year.
It was bliss, travelling was enjoyable! I could enjoy everything without being " mum".
I had naps!
You will have the best time, enjoy smile

toomuchpink Sun 21-Apr-13 20:23:02

Am in the same dilemma about visiting my brother and wife in China to meet my niece for the first time. I am mostly worried about missing the children while I am away and how they will respond to me when I come back.
All the encouraging voices here are making me think I should just go for it. My husband is getting a surfing trip which makes me feel I should be able to have a trip too. But I am still worried.

Incapinka Sun 21-Apr-13 20:28:48

I did although the last couple of days before I left I felt awful. Thought of all the worst possible things that could happen and regularly reduced myself to tears! Pathetic eh?! However as soon as I got on the plane I was fine and loved having a break whilst I was safe in the knowledge that DS was in very capable hands. So yes go go go!!

WookieWoo Sun 21-Apr-13 20:36:17

I have those concerns too toomuchpink. I think I could handle my missing them and have a lovely time, but worry that if they seemed to be missing me a lot that would lessen my enjoyment of the trip.

Does anyone have any advice on what you tell your DCs before you go? And do you speak regularly on the phone or does that just upset them?

To be honest, my DCs usually forget who I am when my ILs are around so I think they would just be so excited to have granny and grandpa here for a week.

WookieWoo Sun 21-Apr-13 20:36:56

Sorry x-post Incapinka

pamelat Sun 21-Apr-13 21:24:14


Yes you'll miss them but it's only a week and then you'll be back revitalised and happy to be home

I've only home away for two nights at a time but DH has had a week away several times. You can skype smile

MsPavlichenko Sun 21-Apr-13 21:31:06

No! You would not be unreasonable.

MammaTJ Sun 21-Apr-13 22:38:59

They will be with people who love them, even if they did miss you. It does children good to miss their mum sometimes, it means they will appreciate you all the more on your return.

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