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to not want to give a talk to this club?

(9 Posts)
Takver Sun 21-Apr-13 14:56:34

Genuine question - I haven't answered yet! Background: I often do give talks on my specific area of knowledge, (don't want to out myself, but eg imagine I was a dog breeder, and talked to groups of dog lovers about training methods).

I basically give variations on one of two talks, I have them well 'worked up' with a set of photos for each, so it takes a max of say an hour or so to run through beforehand, gather props and maybe find a few new pictures, plus the time to give the talk. I only say yes if I think there is going to be a decent turn out to make it worth giving up my evening.

An acquaintance has got in touch. She belongs to a WI type group, around 20 members, only a few of whom (actually, I think only her) have any specific interest in what I do. Neither of my talks would be at all appropriate (they are 'how to' talks), but she wants me to come and 'talk about the development of your business as well as what you do at the moment'. I tried quite hard on the phone to say no, but she really pushed me hard to agree, and has sent an email, and I'm finding it very difficult to turn her down. They're having a 'theme' this autumn that I would fit into.

Now, its going to take me at least 2 hours at a minimum to write a new talk, probably more as I have no starting point, probably another hour to find suitable photos & sort them out, then I need to rehearse and run through - basically it will be a good half day plus the evening given up. AIBU to stick to my guns and say no, or am I being a miserable git especially as I have a suspicion that she has to come up with a speaker each month and can't think of anyone else to ask?

Bathsheba Sun 21-Apr-13 14:59:12

It would be half a days work, but it would then mean you had 3 talks in your repertoire rather than the 2 you currently have,,
Is this something you are paid for? If you get paid then see it as business development..

ImagineJL Sun 21-Apr-13 14:59:36

Absolutely your choice. It sounds like a fair amount of work, so YANBU to not want to do it.

McNewPants2013 Sun 21-Apr-13 14:59:46

Yanbu not to do this talk if you don't want to, but if you do couldn't you reuse a talk and reuse the props

Takver Sun 21-Apr-13 15:05:35

Hmm, generally I don't ask for money as I see it more as about raising awareness, and tbh I have too much work on already!

I think they want me to be a flag waver for women's businesses, and I'm not sure I want to be . . .

Takver Sun 21-Apr-13 15:07:08

Partly I think I am just innately quite crap at this sort of thing, so I have to rehearse a lot & really know what I'm going to say (hence why it takes a long time), and I'm failing to get this across to her!!!

MMMarmite Sun 21-Apr-13 17:05:48

You don't have to explain your reasons and argue your point and convince her. Giving your reasons is a politeness, you have the right to say "no" for any reason or no reason at all.

Hopefully firmness will do the trick. I suppose at the very worst she might end the friendship, but if she does then you could ask yourself why you'd even want to be friends with someone who pushes you so hard to do stuff you don't want to do.

thermalsinapril Sun 21-Apr-13 17:14:28

Can you put her in touch with someone else who might be able to help? Maybe an organisation with a similar interest to yours?

Takver Sun 21-Apr-13 17:50:46

Agree, Marmite, firmness is needed grin

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