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HELP! Police at my door - apparently I have committed an offence.........

(651 Posts)
TheAccused Sat 20-Apr-13 16:20:36

Police just came as they have received a complaint against me.

Yesterday afternoon I nip to Tesco after school pick up. No P&C spaces so I park further down in a row of which is almost all empty spaces. I have a large 7 seater (4 DC) and get fed up of people parking so close that I can't get the toddler into his car seat without a struggle, so I park a quarter way over the next space hoping no one will park in that space as there are plenty more empty spaces next to it. I rush round, get a call from DD as she has forgotten her keys and is waiting outside the front door at home, so go quicker, get outside and find some BUFFOON has parked in the space I have parked over, so close that I can only just about get the door open on the toddler's side. The next space was empty!

As a see this, I hold my hands up and say to the DC, 'For gods sake, why did this idiot have to park so close' not seeing that there is a teenage boy sat in the car. I was not actually talking TO him at that point.

Conversation then goes something like this:
Boy shouts out 'my dad parked it not me'. I say something like, 'well you should tell him that I parked like this so I could get my child in car, now I can't, he could have parked further along'. He says' you should'nt have parked over the line'. I tell him I can park where I like, there's no law against it. He says 'well we can park where we like as well'. I tell him it would be common decency for his father to make sure the next car can open their doors. As I am in a rush, I try to squeeze DS through the door, hitting his head in the process. He starts crying. The boy in the next car laughs. I take the trolley back muttering 'tosser' to myself and give him an evil stare as I drive off furious at myself for not parking in the middle of 2 spaces and for even having a dialogue with the boy.

So police just came and said I had committed a public disorder offence as I was 'shouting, screaming and swearing' at the boy which has left him very shaken as he suffers from anxiety. The boy wants a written apology from me and if I do that, it will not go any further. Otherwise I will have be interviewed and give a written statement.

I have said that I am not apologising as I have not committed any offence and the boy was mouthing back to me very confidently and did definitely not look anxious to me! I do actually suffer from anxiety and depression and this has completely knocked me for 6.

The police will call me to arrange an interview next week. I can't believe it. I am pretty sure I did not even raise my voice. There was no one else about except my DCs and they are adamant I did not shout or swear (I have even started doubting myself). I am going back to the store on Monday to request the CCTV footage but they are not sure if anything will show up in the car park and it probably won't have picked up my voice anyway to prove I was not shouting.

I cannot understand how the police can tell me that if I write an apology, they will drop it, when they have no proof that I did anything. They were making out I was guilty angry. Does this constitute a public disorder offence? I was just about to go out with the DCs to park before the police came. I am frozen with fear now.

TheAccused Sat 20-Apr-13 16:23:30

I was just about to go out with the DCs to THE park before the police came.

mybelovedmonster Sat 20-Apr-13 16:24:16

Dear god...

PregnantPain Sat 20-Apr-13 16:24:23

Call their bluff don't apologise, you know you did nothing wrong and you should stand your ground. Teenage boy should know not to speak to strangers anyway!

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed Sat 20-Apr-13 16:24:39

I am amazed that you thought it was ok to park your car like that. The rest of the incident? Just write the note and move on.

PregnantPain Sat 20-Apr-13 16:24:56

Oh and if he was that anxious why did he draw attention to himself by laughing??

Yonionekanobe Sat 20-Apr-13 16:25:11

You may well find his father or mother is a police officer. I can't for my life think why the police would bother spending time on this otherwise.

mybelovedmonster Sat 20-Apr-13 16:25:38

And park on the end of a row or at the back of the carpark in future. You can't park over 2 spaces like that.

BeerTricksPotter Sat 20-Apr-13 16:26:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LessMissAbs Sat 20-Apr-13 16:27:40

Were there any other witnesses? ...

BeerTricksPotter Sat 20-Apr-13 16:28:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tiggytape Sat 20-Apr-13 16:28:08

Essentially you were in the wrong parking in two spaces.
You were in the wrong getting into an argument / discussion with a teenage boy about it
You were wrong to have a go at him about his Dad's parking (even though you caused the problem in the first place by parking over two bays)

I don't think it is a police matter assuming what you say is totally true and assuming he didn't hear you calling him a tosser but for the record - you are the one at fault here not him

magimedi Sat 20-Apr-13 16:28:25

I don't think the police can demand that you send a written apology or it will go further.

I think I'd be so cross that I would be contacting a solicitor - they very often give half an hour's advice for free/very little.

I would repost this on the lgal board here, as well - lots of very knowledgeable people there.

sarahbean123 Sat 20-Apr-13 16:29:50

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

TheAccused Sat 20-Apr-13 16:30:09

Whether or not you are amazed at me parking like that, is neither here nor there. There were plenty of other spaces to park in. I was not affecting anybody. I am sure the guy did it on purpose.

I always make sure cars either side can open their doors when I park. It gets on my tits when people park so close you can't open the doors properly.

How old was the lad 13 or 18 or somewhere in between? I'm guessing that although you have anxiety you didn't look particularly anxious to him either.

You were annoyed and mouthed off at the wrong person, I can see why you did it but its not on to be arguing with kids about what their parents have done.

I'd just write the note and be done with it tbh, the cctv won't have sound on it anyway.

It must have been a horrible shock to have the police show up like that though, I would have been shitting myself sad hopefully you still manage to get out for a bit today.

Pendipidy Sat 20-Apr-13 16:30:34

Actually you did do something wrong. You parked over the next space when you shouldn't have. I have a seven seater too and yes it is a pain when people park too close to get child in the car seat but that doesn't give you the right to take up another space or part of one. You should have parked more over the other way if you need more room , that is what i do, but still within my space.

I can't comment on the public disorder thing as i wasn't there, but you cannot expect nor demand people to park somewhere that suits you, not them. And you are in the wrong for getting annoyed at them when they didn't do anything wrong, you did!

Sparklingbrook Sat 20-Apr-13 16:30:53

I'm with Yoni. The police coming round an demanding you write a letter of apology??? confused Don't you need some witnesses other than the teenager anyway? Sounds very odd.

Lovelygoldboots Sat 20-Apr-13 16:31:14

I would write an extremely apologetic letter begging their forgiveness. I think involving the police was ridiculous but you need to get rid of them. Drink this wine

livinginwonderland Sat 20-Apr-13 16:31:27

don't park across two spaces then.

reelingintheyears Sat 20-Apr-13 16:33:24

Tell the Police to FUCK OFF.

That should do the trick.

MrsMacFarlane Sat 20-Apr-13 16:33:31

You shouldn't have parked over the 2 spaces or got into a dialogue with the boy in the car, however, this has happened. I too am very surprised that the police have followed this up, I would have thought they had far better things to do. They cannot prove that you did what the boy has accused you of. You didn't physically assault him and as far as I can tell, no crime has been committed so I doubt they can MAKE you write a letter of apology. I can't see how they can take the matter further as it's one party's word against another and impossible to prove. I would call their bluff and ignore it.

TidyDancer Sat 20-Apr-13 16:33:47

I'm stunned the police got involved, but I suppose they have to act on good faith that the kid was telling the truth.

I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up being shamed on though. Because....well....yeah....

Tee2072 Sat 20-Apr-13 16:33:49

Sounds like police harassment to me. There is no law requiring a written apology for being an idiot, which is what you were for both parking over the line and speaking to the boy.

Call a solicitor.

EnlightenedOwl Sat 20-Apr-13 16:33:53

This is something which if you're not careful is going to escalate. Make the apology.
also whatever the circs don't park over two spaces. Its not on.

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