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to think all you smug bastards with GARDENS don't know how lucky you are!

(113 Posts)
TrappedInHell Sat 20-Apr-13 13:56:40

Sorry, sorry, sorry but I am RANTING and feeling full of woe is me! I live in a fucking FLAT on the 2nd floor. I feel trapped, hemmed in and high up. I want to send the DCs out into the sunshine while I do stuff. I want to plant flowers and mow grass just to get the smell. I want to hang washing and see the wind blow through it. I want my toddler to have a sandpit. I want to sit outside in the sun with a glass of wine. I want to do the DCs a bbq. How did my life come to this??? There is nothing I can do to change for the foreseeable future.


honeytea Wed 24-Apr-13 13:16:58

I actually feel smug about living in an apartment. We do have a lovely big communal garden with a playground and pool and BBQs. I think a communal garden is a great solution for us, the kids all go out and play together.

We have been thinking of selling our flat and buying a house, we went to look at houses this weekend, both houses had big gardens with play houses and trampolines but I just thought oh god I'd have to look after this garden. I'm much happier with my balcony and someone else mowing the lawn in the communal garden.

quoteunquote Wed 24-Apr-13 12:45:07

I second the NT membership, if you find one of the offer vans, for about £35, you get unlimited access to all properties, most have wonderful gardens,

google guerrilla gardening, and guerilla gardening and the name of where you live, there are plenty of respectable groups around, we have lots of spaces in and around our town that have been taken over, one of which is now a lovely walled garden, which is used by a lot of families, it was a fly tipping spot. I bet there is a space near you that needs to be hit.

and get camping, it really helps when you are feeling detached from the land.

mmmerangue Wed 24-Apr-13 11:12:35

I had this discussion with my parents last week.

They have a 1/4 hectare tree filled, over flowing with greenness and life, ponds, ducks, all walled in and it was a treasure to grow up with (albeit I didn't realise that till it was no longer mine.)

I have a shared courtyard in which the paving is crooked and not safe for DS and a patch of grass out front right next to a fast main road and the grass is shit and nothing grows in the flower bed I dug cause of all the traffic and poor light. Also we are 1st floor up a set of concrete steps so I can't just set DS free and watch him from the kitchen window like some sort of stepford wife fantasy

Now the weather is here and the park is a 20 minute walk away as well, it's bumming me right out sad

sashh Wed 24-Apr-13 11:04:02

You are welcome to share mine if you will do the mowing. No problem with a sandpit, not sure about a trampoline but I would consider it.

I'll even pour the glass of wine for you

Eskino Wed 24-Apr-13 09:10:13

Ah I feel for you. We spent last summer in a flat with a baby.

Me and the next door neighbour would sit with our babies on the nearest patch of grass, surrounded by drying washing on racks. It was a lovely memory but im still pleased we both have moved to houses with gardens.

Do you have a nearby verge or patch you could put a few pots on, that would deter dog shitting owners? I'm all for taking over our little green spaces.

undercoversahm Wed 24-Apr-13 08:53:47

Where do you live, OP? You can come and share mine. You have made me realise again how very very lucky I am to have a (small but lovely) garden. It makes all the difference. YADNBU.

?grandparents with gardens?

fuzzpig Wed 24-Apr-13 08:53:21

I empathise OP. TBF we do have a small patch of grass in front so we are lucky in that respect.

I would LOVE a back garden. I am disabled and even being out front while the DCs run around is too much for me (they aren't old enough to be unsupervised) and things like walking to the park are impossible at the moment.

VisualiseAHorse Wed 24-Apr-13 08:36:51

I could've written this post.

Even worse...outside my window is a gorgeous empty field. But I have to go through 3 fire doors to get the buggy out, and we live when OH works, so there are often members of the public just wandering around. Which means I can't just open the back door in the morning (still in pjs, bed hair etc) to let the dog out for a wee. Oh No. I have to get dressed, get the baby dressed, put him in a sling/buggy and trundle through 3 stupid fire doors just to let the dog have a wee.

Twattybollocks Wed 24-Apr-13 08:28:21

Well I've been moaning all week about how much my back hurts and how much work is involved in getting my garden to look even slightly respectable for the summer but I confess I do feel for you. Yes it's hard work, but nothing beats sitting out there in the evenings after kids are in bed, with a glass of something and just listening to the birds and the stillness.

teaandthorazine Wed 24-Apr-13 07:05:08

ThatGhastlyWoman grin

TiredFeet Tue 23-Apr-13 22:36:48

Yanbu. I have lived in a flat and I hated it in the summer. I really feel for you. People moaning to you about their gardens and how much work they are are being rather insensitive!

LynetteScavo Tue 23-Apr-13 21:52:23

I have a garden, and I know I am very lucky. I am not smug. I have been looking at where I might live when I'm old (I like to plan ahead, I'm not due to retire for 25 years!), and don't need a garden. I came to the conclusion that I really would like at last a small patch of grass to call my own.

valiumredhead Tue 23-Apr-13 21:45:22

Wrt my bbq's being annoying comment, I meant that I used to feel SO envious and it felt like the whole world was having a bbq and not us sad

valiumredhead Tue 23-Apr-13 21:42:46

We have a garden now but we had 11 years in a flat, I know how hard it is and how fucking annoying the smell of bbq's is envy

Almost every day either dh, ds or me says 'Oh I love the garden' smile We don't take it for granted at all. We had to sell up and move miles out of the city though which meant starting all over again.

Wrt taking a toll on your MH, I agree, I have felt much better generally since I took up digging and weeding.

Sorry, none of that is helpful but I know how you feel x

Wishwehadgoneabroad Tue 23-Apr-13 20:27:41

I hear you...3rd floor flat's a killer in the summer.

Would give anything to be able to sell up and move to a house. sad

ThatGhastlyWoman Tue 23-Apr-13 20:23:08

Squeaaaa! Sorry, just spotted your user name, teaandthorazine. One of my favourite songs, that. grin

Sorry, as you were...

expatinscotland Tue 23-Apr-13 16:35:08

I never thought about it until I moved here and have been in flats pretty much the entire time. Can't afford to buy and never will.

VitoCorleone Tue 23-Apr-13 16:24:58

Those miniature gardens are cool!

VitoCorleone Tue 23-Apr-13 16:23:11

You know what, i never even thought about it til i read this thread, but realise now im lucky to have a garden, id be lost without it in the summer

Not trying to rub it in, just never thought about it til now.

erowid Tue 23-Apr-13 15:46:22

I understand OP frustration but I certainly do not take my garden for granted. I spent 10 years of living in flats and having nothing but windowsill for a few potted herbs but last summer we moved into a house with a garden. We had a tiny budget but our main priority was a garden and I couldn't care less what state the house was in. The first 3-4 months of us living here we were outside digging, weeding and planting then sitting round the chiminea every evening. It wasn't until winter came that we realised we hadn't even unpacked the house.

expatinscotland Tue 23-Apr-13 15:37:39

That is awesome, Ican.

We'd love a garden, but it would mean private renting. No, thanks.

I don't think it's fair to label people who have them smug bastards.

Icanhasnickname Tue 23-Apr-13 15:21:59

I grew up with a massive garden, but still loved my fairy garden more! I spent hours tending it.

stopgap Tue 23-Apr-13 12:20:28

I've lived in flats for almost twenty years, and in the last year we have rented a place with a large patio (20 x 30). No grass, obviously, but it is glorious having somewhere that my toddler can play and have a sand pit.

You are not being unreasonable at all. I love city living, but know how annoying it is to have to dress everyone and traipse to the park when all you want to do is open the back door and have the kids run around.

Francagoestohollywood Tue 23-Apr-13 11:39:51

I live in an European city where the majority of people live in flats.
Our children go to parks or playgrounds, where they find other children they can play with.

teaandthorazine Tue 23-Apr-13 11:34:44

I think it's the privacy element that does it, which is why having a tiny patch of scrappy private garden is better than having even a beautiful communal one.

Where I live, I'm not even allowed to put pots out on the 6-inch-wide 'balcony', or hang baskets off the railings, in case they prevent the firemen from getting in and rescuing me in a blaze. I'm not making this up. Madness.

Hmmm. This thread has touched a nerve!

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