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to think all you smug bastards with GARDENS don't know how lucky you are!

(113 Posts)
TrappedInHell Sat 20-Apr-13 13:56:40

Sorry, sorry, sorry but I am RANTING and feeling full of woe is me! I live in a fucking FLAT on the 2nd floor. I feel trapped, hemmed in and high up. I want to send the DCs out into the sunshine while I do stuff. I want to plant flowers and mow grass just to get the smell. I want to hang washing and see the wind blow through it. I want my toddler to have a sandpit. I want to sit outside in the sun with a glass of wine. I want to do the DCs a bbq. How did my life come to this??? There is nothing I can do to change for the foreseeable future.


marjproops Sat 20-Apr-13 21:46:30

BTW OP calling garden owners/dwellers bastards is not nice, howvere ranty you're feeling.

Softlysoftly Sat 20-Apr-13 21:55:22

I've never really had this hit home before but as an ex country girl now in a city but with a garden I actually really really rant feel for you sad

I'd feel suffocated. I do hope you manage to get some greenery somehow.

K8Middleton Sat 20-Apr-13 22:00:32

Huge Fernley Whatsit did a scheme for this, Landsharing or something. Might be worth a look?

You get to use part of someone else's garden in exchange for a bit of mowing and weeding. National Trust were involved too iirc.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Sat 20-Apr-13 22:01:37

Yanbu. It must be very difficult for you. I am not really sure what to suggest but I hope that a garden is in your future.

Viviennemary Sat 20-Apr-13 22:08:58

It's sad when you don't have a garden and you really want one. Mine is just a bit of a burden as neither of us likes gardening much. And everything seems to grow so quickly it's hardly worth doing and it's all grown back again. And when my children were little they did play out sometimes but not that much they'd rather be inside getting under my feet. I'm sorry if that sounds ungrateful but it's just the other side.

teaandthorazine Tue 23-Apr-13 10:55:23

I completely and utterly know how you feel OP. YANBU.

I live in a second floor flat and although the area around us is generally quite green and pleasant, it's absolutely NOT the same as having your own garden. In fact, we have communal gardens which are nice enough to look at but I want to be able to open my back door and sit with a glass of wine in the evening, or chuck ds out to play without having to hover by the window and keep three doors on the latch so he can get back in. Not possible here. The old dears who live in the other flats are curtain-twitchers and passive-aggressive notewriters extraordinaire. And as for barbecues/hanging out washing etc, no chance!

In a couple of years time we might be able to move, maybe. As long as rents don't rise any further. There's no way I'm going to another flat without a private garden, even if its just a patch. Until then I'll have to make do with a pot of mint on the windowsill! I've put our names down for an allotment but the waiting list is a whopping 5 years...

Am amazed that people think buying a National Trust membership/hanging out in the local park is a good swap. Don't think they'd let me hang out my sheets in the grounds of Chartwell somehow!

ArbitraryUsername Tue 23-Apr-13 10:57:43

Do you want to come round to mine especially if you want to mow lawns, dig and plant stuff? There's not much in the way of sunshine out there right now though.

teaandthorazine Tue 23-Apr-13 11:05:16

Happily, Arbitrary! I am desperate to dig and plant. Have even half-seriously considered setting myself up in business to do just that, unfortunately I have sky-high rent to pay and I'm not sure that mowing the lawn would cover it grin

ArbitraryUsername Tue 23-Apr-13 11:08:04

I suspect I might not be round the corner from you (if I were, you'd have a garden or at least a yard as everyone does round here). Alas.

Anyone who wants to is more than welcome to come round and garden or me. I hate gardening. I'll even supply tea and biscuits.

StephaniePowers Tue 23-Apr-13 11:08:34

OP have a HUGE hug. I really know how you feel and you're quite right. We're outdoors creatures really.
All I can suggest - I used to do this - was on a day off, take a bus and head out of the town. Walk in the fields/hills/whatever's near you. It really helps.

glastocat Tue 23-Apr-13 11:23:21

I feel your pain OP, this was one reason why we left London after I had my son, we had a flat with no garden and I just got so unhappy and felt trapped. We moved to Ireland where we had a big garden, but sadly the weather meant we didn't get as much use out of it as I hoped. I did love it though. Now I'm in Oz and never out of the garden, it's heaven. I agree with the person who said it feels like a fundamental human right, we are meant to be in nature not cooped up in boxes in the sky.

glastocat Tue 23-Apr-13 11:27:19

And yes even a tiny patch of a garden is much better than none, my first flat in London had a teeny tiny garden which I loved so much, just big enough for a sun lounger, picnic table tiny veg patch and lots of hanging baskets and loads of friendly neighbourhood moggies.Fond memories!

ditavonteesed Tue 23-Apr-13 11:30:21

I fully sympathise, and would let you know that I never take my garden for granted, I was in a flat when the dc where toddlers and now I do sometimes have to throw them out but I love it so much.

teaandthorazine Tue 23-Apr-13 11:34:44

I think it's the privacy element that does it, which is why having a tiny patch of scrappy private garden is better than having even a beautiful communal one.

Where I live, I'm not even allowed to put pots out on the 6-inch-wide 'balcony', or hang baskets off the railings, in case they prevent the firemen from getting in and rescuing me in a blaze. I'm not making this up. Madness.

Hmmm. This thread has touched a nerve!

Francagoestohollywood Tue 23-Apr-13 11:39:51

I live in an European city where the majority of people live in flats.
Our children go to parks or playgrounds, where they find other children they can play with.

stopgap Tue 23-Apr-13 12:20:28

I've lived in flats for almost twenty years, and in the last year we have rented a place with a large patio (20 x 30). No grass, obviously, but it is glorious having somewhere that my toddler can play and have a sand pit.

You are not being unreasonable at all. I love city living, but know how annoying it is to have to dress everyone and traipse to the park when all you want to do is open the back door and have the kids run around.

Icanhasnickname Tue 23-Apr-13 15:21:59

I grew up with a massive garden, but still loved my fairy garden more! I spent hours tending it.

expatinscotland Tue 23-Apr-13 15:37:39

That is awesome, Ican.

We'd love a garden, but it would mean private renting. No, thanks.

I don't think it's fair to label people who have them smug bastards.

erowid Tue 23-Apr-13 15:46:22

I understand OP frustration but I certainly do not take my garden for granted. I spent 10 years of living in flats and having nothing but windowsill for a few potted herbs but last summer we moved into a house with a garden. We had a tiny budget but our main priority was a garden and I couldn't care less what state the house was in. The first 3-4 months of us living here we were outside digging, weeding and planting then sitting round the chiminea every evening. It wasn't until winter came that we realised we hadn't even unpacked the house.

VitoCorleone Tue 23-Apr-13 16:23:11

You know what, i never even thought about it til i read this thread, but realise now im lucky to have a garden, id be lost without it in the summer

Not trying to rub it in, just never thought about it til now.

VitoCorleone Tue 23-Apr-13 16:24:58

Those miniature gardens are cool!

expatinscotland Tue 23-Apr-13 16:35:08

I never thought about it until I moved here and have been in flats pretty much the entire time. Can't afford to buy and never will.

ThatGhastlyWoman Tue 23-Apr-13 20:23:08

Squeaaaa! Sorry, just spotted your user name, teaandthorazine. One of my favourite songs, that. grin

Sorry, as you were...

Wishwehadgoneabroad Tue 23-Apr-13 20:27:41

I hear you...3rd floor flat's a killer in the summer.

Would give anything to be able to sell up and move to a house. sad

valiumredhead Tue 23-Apr-13 21:42:46

We have a garden now but we had 11 years in a flat, I know how hard it is and how fucking annoying the smell of bbq's is envy

Almost every day either dh, ds or me says 'Oh I love the garden' smile We don't take it for granted at all. We had to sell up and move miles out of the city though which meant starting all over again.

Wrt taking a toll on your MH, I agree, I have felt much better generally since I took up digging and weeding.

Sorry, none of that is helpful but I know how you feel x

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