Last summer, a mutual acquaintance (Paula) tried to make a great deal of trouble for me and a close friend (Jean) of mine by trying to come between us, by making up various bits of tittle tattle and carrying it back and forth. When it came to light, there were no fireworks but Jean and I agreed to just quitely drop her, which we did. I wrote to Paula explaining why this was and wishing her all the best: there was no reply. Jean and I agreed that we had a lucky escape.
Last week, Jean and I had a minor falling out and in a series of silly texts about how unreasonable the other was being, she told me that she had had Paula to dinner at her home to meet her new partner but had decided not to tell me. If we had not had this silly misunderstanding, I would have remained in the dark about it. She has offered no explanation.
I feel very betrayed by this, as there is no way that I would have extended a hand again to Paula as she had tried to break up our friendship, a friendship that has been important to me. Jean knows this and knew I would look at in in this way (I thought we were singing from the same hymn sheet) but it seems to me that she has risked our friendship in order to make contact with Paula again: someone with whom neither of us were particularly close to.
I now feel that Paula has judged our friendship to be worth risking. She has responded that she can invite whoever she wants for dinner and of course, she can but I would have thought that a person who meant us harm would not have been an obvious choice. At the moment, there is radio silence between Jean and I and, although the original minor falling out could have been sorted, I really don't feel that this business with Paula can.
Am I being unreasonable to cut all ties?
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AIBU?
to want to break with a friend over this?
25 replies
missmarplestmarymead · 20/04/2013 10:38
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