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AIBU to ask the children next door to stop staring over the fence?

(58 Posts)
kay1975 Fri 19-Apr-13 17:53:29

We've lived here 7 years and have never had a good relationship with the neighbours on one side! We have 2 boys, 6 and 7, they have 3 girls 1, 5 and 8.

They spent the whole of last summer perched on top of their climbing frame watching our boys, chatting ect. But my problem is that they can see right into our living room and kitchen from the climbing frame! It's started up again now!

My boys are showing off like monkeys for them playing football and they are up there cheering them on and staring into our living room!

My husband when he gets home from work wants to tell them "stop staring at us, this my private time with my children!" because he'll be out there footie training with them, but I thats is a bit harsh. But I can't stand it, it's such an invasion of privacy.

What should I do? Say something, at the risk of our already bad relationship getting worse? There is already an 8ft fence out the garden, but I'm thinking about getting trellis to put on the top of the fence, but it's their fence so can I do that?!!

Arghhh....help?

PregnantPain Fri 19-Apr-13 17:55:34

Next time you see them staring into your living room, go out and tell them that it isn't polite to do so and you will speak to their parents if you spot them again. Harsh but most cases scaring them into a potential telling off from parents might shit them up enough to stop them doing it.

WorraLiberty Fri 19-Apr-13 17:57:30

You'll sound like an utter loon if you say anything.

It's part and parcel of having neighbours

HeySoulSister Fri 19-Apr-13 17:58:30

i was thinking that too worra

WorraLiberty Fri 19-Apr-13 17:59:20

And close your blinds!

YoniFoolsAndHorses Fri 19-Apr-13 18:01:11

Ditto Worra!

LittleYellowBall Fri 19-Apr-13 18:01:30

Try wandering around in the nud?

Hedgepig Fri 19-Apr-13 18:01:38

Every time you see them staring in grin like mad and wave gringringringrin

BeerTricksPotter Fri 19-Apr-13 18:02:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DonCorleYoni Fri 19-Apr-13 18:03:22

I don't think you can attach anything to the top of their fence. You may be able to put something from the ground on your side that continues on up. You could certainly put a new fence up against theirs but higher and plant something fast-growing like clematis montana or russian vine.

BTW This would drive me nuts, you have my sympathy.

Freddiemisagreatshag Fri 19-Apr-13 18:03:40

Buy a house with a big field all around it and trees hedges and a big fence on the boundary of the field.

Otherwise, for goodness sake, it's what kids do. You'll look like a loon if you complain to their parents.

ZZZenagain Fri 19-Apr-13 18:03:45

don't think you can bring it up really. Sorry it feels so invasive but I don't know what you can do really other than curtains, so they can't see into the house. If your fence is already quite high, I don't know if you can realistically get much of a shield up on top of that.

You could ask the parents if they'd mind you putting a trellis up. You don't have to say it is about the dc watching you from their climbing frame. Just say you want it for the decorative effect or for some climbing plant which would grow there really well, or whatever. They might be ok with that.

The girls will eventually outgrow or tire of the climbing frame so hang in there.

cornydash Fri 19-Apr-13 18:04:08

they are talking to your boys - surely there's nothing that interesting in the living room for them to stare at?
Just ignore them or close the curtains if it really bothers you.

ZZZenagain Fri 19-Apr-13 18:04:53

or you plant something on your side of the fence. Not sure what you could use. Ask at the garden centre for advice.

wonderingagain Fri 19-Apr-13 18:05:00

Send your boys over the fence to play the they won't stare. Surely that's all they want?

monsterchild Fri 19-Apr-13 18:05:14

Can you plant a tree there?

Moominsarehippos Fri 19-Apr-13 18:06:00

Buy some bamboo and plans it next to the fence. I grows like stink.

Wishiwasanheiress Fri 19-Apr-13 18:06:28

I agree u will all look like loons for complaining at kids effectively being friendly, if irritating.

I'd go down the waving madly, engaging them at every opportunity til they bore of u. Wouldn't take long....

badbride Fri 19-Apr-13 18:07:29

Write comedy obscenties in foot-high letters and display them in your living room. When the neighbours discover the reason their little darlings are running around shouting "Fuckity soapy titwank arse", they will promptly put a stop to all the staring grin

Freddiemisagreatshag Fri 19-Apr-13 18:09:08

Jesus Christ they're youngsters and they want to play.

Send the boys round to call for them and let them bloody PLAY.

What harm would it do?

Fairylea Fri 19-Apr-13 18:09:43

I have young girls and honestly if you wave at them super friendly and act all cool mum stuff you probably won't see them for dust as they will be embarrassed. Parents wanting to be friends are not cool at all! Well it would work with my dd and her friends anyway !

Floralnomad Fri 19-Apr-13 18:10:39

What does it matter if they watch your boys play football ? Unless they're actually climbing on the fence to look over there is nothing you can say / do and TBH I think they'd think you were mad .

kay1975 Fri 19-Apr-13 18:11:37

Thanks for the advice, can't pull the blinds or curtains as we don't have them because we have patio doors, that's why they can see in so much. It's not a window or a door it's double patio doors.

Good idea about a plant, I've found a 12ft tree on Ebay that looks good!!

Angelico Fri 19-Apr-13 18:12:34

Why don't you see about inviting them round to play and vice versa? Might be a good opportunity for an olive branch moment if you've never been friendly with the neighbours.

DontSHOUTTTTTT Fri 19-Apr-13 18:14:39

What about one of those large umbrellas placed strategically to block the girls view.

The girls will tire of looking soon enough though. I wouldn't say anything.

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