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To give up a lifetime because of 3-6 months? SPD

(50 Posts)
Turry Fri 19-Apr-13 14:14:03

I had SPD from 22 weeks with DD (only child) and horrific, house-binding version from about 30.

I want another baby so, so much. So does DH, but I'm very seriously considering just sticking to one because apart from the utter agony (worse than labour pains in my experience) on my part, what about DD? If I end up in a wheelchair, what about her?

I'm seriously tying myself in knots over this. Posted up in pregnancy for second time stories and everyone said they got it worse, and reading Pelvic Partnership stuff they say prob be worse too.

But then I can't help thinking this is a child we're talking about here - a whole new life. Surely it's ridiculous to write that off for a few months of pain...

And then I think surely it's not right by DD to knowingly disable myself (possibly permanently)

God, this is horrible! Any experience/ opinions please?

BimbaBirba Fri 19-Apr-13 14:23:12

I had terrible SPD with my third pregnancy. I didn't even know what it was up to then. I wouldn't have another one because of it, mainly. As you say it's not only the pain but the practical aspects of it as well.
All I can say is, if you have lots of help available to you (either paid or from close relatives living very near you and being prepared to be there for you almost full time) AND your DD is old enough to mostly take care of herself then perhaps yes. Otherwise no way.
GL whatever you decide smile

ghosteditor Fri 19-Apr-13 14:30:20

Poor you! You have my sympathies.

I would highly recommend attending an experienced Pilates instructor for a year or so before making a decision. Doing some preparatory work on your core strength and body tone could make a huge difference.

I have hyper mobility and was at risk of SPD, and already have problems with my joints and particularly my hips and SI joints. I had been doing Pilates for two years when I fell pregnant and carried on until 40 weeks. I hardly had any problems - in fact I have more now with breastfeeding hormones.

I will own up to not being in any way an expert but I really do think it's worth a try. You can't control how much the relaxin hormone affects your tendons and ligaments, but you can ensure that your abs, hip flexors, glutes and other muscles are in balance and are strong. Good luck; I'm sure you'll have lots of advice here.

awkwardsis Fri 19-Apr-13 14:30:25

SPD is awful so you have my sympathy. I don't know how usual my experience is but ill tell you anyway. With my first I had very bad hip pain from around 6 or 7 months. It started much earlier in my second pregnancy 4 years later, certainly by about 12 weeks. I was never in a wheelchair but my mobility was severely affected. I had an office jib and out on more than 4 stone each time. With my third I was really very worried. But it never materialised. I was walking a good 2 or 3 miles a day, I noticed my hip pain got much worse the day after if slobber on the sofa so made a point if keeping movie. I also started the pregnancy at a much lower weight, and only out on 2 stone. All cnpletely circumstantial, but I do think keeping mobile and being a sensible weight helped me. Having said that, that pregnancy brought its own challenges with a suspected lung clot, suspected feral growth problems and suspected breech! so nothing is guaranteed. It's entirely up to you, I understand your caution

sweetkitty Fri 19-Apr-13 14:31:30

I've had four pregnancies all with SPD and yes it got worse although I would say DD3 and DSs were the joint worst.

For me I just didn't want it to beat me or dictate to me if that makes sense. But in saying that there weren't times in the last 2 pregnancies I thought I couldn't go on. We have no family support so it was extra difficult.

What got me through seriously was cocodamol, I know everyone hates the idea of taking medication whilst pregnant but it was either that or crutches or a wheelchair, I had to take them 20 mins before getting up so I could get up. DP went to 3 day working weeks the last 2 months too which helped, he had to do everything, baths, housework etc.

At the time it was hell I'm not kidding you but I have 4 beautiful children and they were well worth it.

I suppose the decision is yours.

awkwardsis Fri 19-Apr-13 14:31:31

Sorry for auto correct, stupid iPad. I meant slobbed on the sofa, I certainly don't slobber!

Chloe55 Fri 19-Apr-13 14:34:13

I second the poster suggesting build your core stability first, mine got worse in my second pregnancy but my dd is worth every tear shed, every sleepless night, every agonizing movement, she's worth it all smile

uptomyeyes Fri 19-Apr-13 14:40:50

I had horrendous SPD. During my pregnancy with dc2 from 22 weeks until he was born. I got pregnant unexpectedly with number 3 and was dreading developing it again, but I didn't. No rhyme or reason to it. Nor did I have it during my first pregnancy.

I had 4 years between dc 2 and 3, perhaps leaving a gap helped.

I certainly wouldn't' write off having another baby on account of it, but my SPD. Days are over eleven years ago and my cherished dc3 is 7 yo today so it is all a hazy memory. Good luck.

uptomyeyes Fri 19-Apr-13 14:45:30

....looking at the other posts reminds that I became an avid runner between dc 2 and 3, so yes fitness possibly helped.

differentkindofpenguin Fri 19-Apr-13 14:52:04

I had SPD/SIJ with my pregnancy, started late ( around 30 weeks) but within days I was housebound, all I could do was get myself downstairs in the morning and get myself to the loo, couldn't stand up for long enough to even make myself a cup of tea, needed crutches to even get around the house! Took a month to recover after the birth.

So when I got pregnant for the second time after 15 months ( later found out you are supposed to wait a few years to allow the joints to go back to normal) I was terrified like you. Started to feel pain at 12 weeks, decided to be proactive, got myself seen by physio, got measured up for a serola belt, was doing my exercises religiously... I was in a bit of pain but tolerable with an occasional paracetamol, was able to carry on working( very physically demanding job, 14 hour shifts.

And I waited and waited for the inevitable to happen and go off my legs... And it never happened! Once I went on mat leave the pains eased a lot, I was able to take my 2 year old son for walks and mess around with him, was absolutely mobile and had a very active labour

So I don't know how rare it is that it doesn't happen in the second pregnancy, but I thought you'd appreciate a positive story. I don't know if physio made all the difference.

I have also been told osteopathy can really help but not tried it myself so can't comment, but maybe worth researching?

Good luck with whatever you decide, sorry for stupidly long post- your post really struck a cord, the helplessness, loneliness and dependence that SPD brings was the worst experience of my life!

barleysugar Fri 19-Apr-13 14:52:36

I had it terribly in pregnancies 1 and 3, but not really in number 2. No idea why! So I'd say go for it!

Also I'd highly recommend finding a good chiropractor and start seeing them early on.

Turry Fri 19-Apr-13 14:56:58

Oh thanks so for responding everyone! I feel so emotional about the whole thing and nobody URL has even heard of it it seems!

Very interesting about exercise and age gaps... I was thinking of having the two quite close together, but maybe we should wait til she's at school/ less dependant, and in the meantime sort my core out, try Pilates etc. I have hypermobility too, not severely, no pain, just very bending, colicky joints...

Thanks so, so much again - all your ideas and thoughts really helpful!

Turry Fri 19-Apr-13 14:59:46

Ok, adding chiropractor to the list, thank you! Going to see if PP can recommend anyone who specialises in pregnancy/ can be recommended as I've always found it so hard to tell who's any good from the outside...

Turry Fri 19-Apr-13 15:07:10

Thank you differentkind, lump in my throat reading that. You're right, I really do appreciate a positive story. The idea of being able to play freely with dd while pregnant is the stuff of dreams. Agh, if only there was some test that could tell you in advance: wheelchair or frolicking in the park!

ghosteditor Fri 19-Apr-13 15:09:34

There was a paper recently which concluded that for infant and maternal health, a gap of a minimum 3 years was recommended. It can't be as simple as that (and I can't find it on my phone) but it's worth looking!

My osteo is excellent. Pilates and proper pre-natal yoga can help (be very careful with yoga). Your hyper mobility won't help, sucks, doesn't it.

sweetkitty Fri 19-Apr-13 16:23:36

My BMI was 20 before all my pregnancies so I think weight had nothing to do with it.

I did have 4 babies in 5y 10m so probably didn't help things.

I had belts, crutches and had physio, the physio said at the end it was pointless as every time she put my pelvis back in properly it was so soft it popped out again and delivery was the only cure hmm

I remember going bob a day trip with the DC and sitting on a bench most of the day with the old folk, you feel so down but at least I knew it would go cannot imagine feeling like that every day hmm

It was a long, depressing, painful time but worth it in the end but I won't be doing it again.

SpanishFly Fri 19-Apr-13 16:30:02

I had it with ds1 but not with ds2. Theyre almost 6y apart. I think forearmed is forewarned - you won't be carrying on with yr normal life next time you're pregnant. You'll take it easy from day one and will be getting professional advice too.

blacklightning Fri 19-Apr-13 16:37:26

I suffered dreadfully during my first two pregnancies. I visited a physio after the second birth who found a slight misalignment in my back. She realigned it and along with this I decided to keep fitter and eat healthier. the next two pregnancies were pretty much spd free. I only suffered a bit if I really overdid things.

javotte Fri 19-Apr-13 16:46:22

I was housebound with a toddler for 2 months at the end of my second pregnancy. I was prepared to suffer again for DC3, but it never happened. I had a lovely pregnancy.

DaffodilAdams Fri 19-Apr-13 16:59:57

I had SPD in both pregnancies. Worse in the first probably because I knew more about it by the second. And I wasn't doing stupid things like jumping on and off motor launches! Also at the first sign I started using a pillow between my knees when sleeping and just becoming a lot less active.

But I can still feel it now (nowhere near as bad) 18 months later.

Would definitely recommend seeing a chiropractor.

DinoSnores Fri 19-Apr-13 17:13:48

I did Pilates after having SPD with DS. When I was pregnant with DD1 (albeit just for 5 months) and then to term with DD2, I had a little SPD but nothing nearly as bad.

spd4 Fri 19-Apr-13 17:14:08

I also have a terrible history with spd. I think it is important to recognise that there are women out there who have been left permanently disabled because of this condition and it is not always a problem that resolves with delivery of the baby. I think you are right to be concerned and cautious.
I had severe spd during my first pg. It started at 17 wks and I had never been in as good physical condition. Hill walking etc. So my physical fitness/weight etc. did not seem to be a factor. Also I had never had particularly flexible joints etc. another thing that was thought to be a poss factor in developing spd.
I was in a wheelchair by the end and my babies were delivered by c section because of my spd at 35 wks.
My spd did not resolve after the births.
I spent 8 months learning how to walk again and had intensive osteo and physio. I couldn't lift my babies until they were at least 8 months and had a home help.
Naturally I was, like you are, terrified to have another child and deeply traumatised by my experience. I thank my lucky stars I did not have the plating surgery (I had a diastasis/gap at the front of my pelvis xrays post partum showed).
I researched endlessly and found a great physio and knew my osteo would help me with my next pg. I waited 5 years and went on to have my next child with little or no problems thanks to my physio/osteo programme. I travelled abroad to access this help. I didn't even need crutches during this pg.
I then went on to have another child (no. 4) again accessing help all along the process but this time was referred to a specialist physio in my country who had been trained by the other physio. Even at that I worried.
Again, no problem whatsoever. No crutches, tubigrip etc. Never any probs post partum. OP, it can be done! Access the right help and remember that for most women it does resolve after the birth in any case. I wish there was more understanding of this condition.

fudgeit Fri 19-Apr-13 18:14:04

have a look at your personal circumstances. try and see if there is a way that you could make the pregnancy as stress free as possible in terms of work (if you work) and caring for DD. had horrific SPD with DD and at the time looking after 4 yr old DS as well as working full time. i say i'll never have kids again, but in my mind if it ever did happen again i wouldn't want to work through it.

KirjavaTheCat Fri 19-Apr-13 18:44:19

I'm 12 weeks pregnant with my second child, after suffering terribly with SPD which lasted for 11 months after the birth of my son. I still get twinges if I exercise too much or stand on my feet all day and he's 3!

I am worried, but there's a massive difference this time, I'm not working anymore, and my job was very physically taxing. I'm hoping that will make a difference - being able to rest more this time round. Plus I know what to expect and what my limits are. Last time I was a bloody idiot and just 'got on with it', didn't complain when work had me standing for 12 hours. I know how stupid I was now. And if it comes to it I'll actually use the crutches this time, and buy a body pillow...

I've read loads of lovely positive stories too. You have to look at how you could adjust this time and how much support you could access, and then decide. Good luck OP.

cazboldy Fri 19-Apr-13 18:49:27

I had it in my 3rd pg, but not in my 4th or 5th.

I had a 4 and a half year gap after number 3, but then there was only 15 months from 4th to 5th pg and i felt sure it would develop, but it didn't!

now i'm 15 + 4 with number 6, so hopefully it's not every 3rd pg for me! hmmgrin

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