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to think that I am a failure as a parent because my dd aged 10 doesnt know how to ride a bike

(122 Posts)
sonu678 Thu 18-Apr-13 23:21:44

Because I have been so caught up in my own work, that I haven spent time taking her out. And her old bike has not only died in the rain where her father left it all year, and I didnt notice. And even if it was prisitne, she is too tall for it, and wouldnt be using her muscles properly on it anyways.

please tell me Im not as bad as I think I am. She hasnt done the bikability in school this week, along with 9 others, because she hasnt got a bike.

expatinscotland Thu 18-Apr-13 23:51:31

Drinking wine is fun. Going out to lunch is fun. Visiting friends is fun. Doing crafts is fun.

Riding a bike? Meh. Another fecking thing to store and another thing to spend money on.

BreconBeBuggered Thu 18-Apr-13 23:51:49

My 10-year-old can't ride a bike either. Combination of poor motor skills and my not seeing the point, given that there's no way I would let him out on the road with all the boy racers that live around here. DS1 learnt when we lived somewhere more child-friendly, but doesn't bother with cycling now, any more than I do. It's no biggie.

steppemum Thu 18-Apr-13 23:56:48

bit sad about all the people knocking cycling. We all cycle, kids love their bikes, cycle to school, to the park etc.

Great way to whizz round to their friends' houses, faster than walking, mine has a basket so no need to carry shopping.

great way to stay fit, and much healthier to cycle than drive short distances, better for pollution levels too.

But I might be biased, dh is dutch!.

cafecito Thu 18-Apr-13 23:57:19

I really think 10 is not that old at all. I am more than twice that age much more and I never ride a bike. I live in London and used to work with cycling fatalities. I really will not allow DS to ride a bike around here. and yes I am a busy person and have no time etc etc. I think swimming is much more important as it's a genuine safety matter if a child cannot swim. Incidentally, DS cannot swim yet (age 3) so - I am a bad parent, you are not.

expatinscotland Thu 18-Apr-13 23:57:49

Get way to get hit by a car round here.

Schooldidi Fri 19-Apr-13 00:01:18

steppemum I don't think people are necessarily knocking cycling. If it's your thing then go for it.

It doesn't make much difference to your life if you can't ride a bike though, and it DEFINITELY doesn't make somebody a bad parent if they don't teach their child to ridea bike at an early age.

jenny99 Fri 19-Apr-13 00:06:53

I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was in my late thirties and both my DSs didn't learn until they were in year 6 just before they had cycling proficiency at school.

It doesn't make you a bad parent.

steppemum Fri 19-Apr-13 00:07:02

schooldidi - I was first poster to reply to op, saying that it doesn't make you a bad parent, kids can't have everything etc.

But most of the intervening posts have been pretty anti cycling all together, I just wanted to point out that it is actually quite a nice activity for parents and kids, to balance the perspective

foreverondiet Fri 19-Apr-13 00:19:18

Teach her now.

Doesn't take much time - just one hour each weekend over the spring/summer. Should be easier age 10. But please do teach her (or pay someone to teach her if money no object) as neither of my DH's sisters can cycle - much harder to learn as an adult and its a big regret for both (and they blame / are annoyed with their parents that they never taught them).

SquirrelNuts Fri 19-Apr-13 00:26:39

You are not a failure, my brother is now 24 and he still cant ride a bike

EggsEggSplat Fri 19-Apr-13 00:36:18

My DCs (14 and 10) can't ride bikes either.

I learnt just in time to go off to university, but despite learning so late, there have been times when cycling has been my main mode of transport, but where we live now it wouldn't be practical, which is why my DCs haven't learnt yet. There's also nowhere safe to learn round here (tiny garden, narrow pavement, through-road lined with parked cars etc).

I agree it's a useful skill, but not an essential one.

ClaudiaSchiffer Fri 19-Apr-13 00:51:49

I'm with steppemum, cycling is great, keeps you fit, is fun, great for the environment and something the whole family can do together. I have lovely memories of going for bike rides as a kid with my dad and brothers. Mum sadly never learned how to do it as a kid (grew up in a big city) and missed out on some really fun times. I'm really glad that I can cycle and I'm teaching my kids how to do it. DH cycles to work which keeps him fit and saves us $$$ on petrol/cars etc.

I wouldn't say you're a bad parent not teaching her but I would be a bit concerned about being so busy you have no time to teach her. That sounds pretty sad to me.

Is your dd upset about missing out on bikeability?

ClaudiaSchiffer Fri 19-Apr-13 00:52:58

As an aside though, I do think it depends on where you live. We're in the sticks, so all quiet roads etc round here, I'd probably feel differently if I was living on a main road.

sashh Fri 19-Apr-13 02:39:03

She needs a bike and some open space, she will be able to work it out for herself.

If there isn't anywhere safe or the park is too far wait for nicer weather, go to the park, take your work with you, or some reading and keep her within shouting range.

kiwimumof2boys Fri 19-Apr-13 03:40:50

My DS is 5 and can't swim. I have tried and tried. He hates the water.
So I guess I'm a bad mum too . . .

2rebecca Fri 19-Apr-13 05:41:04

I consider riding a bike a useful life skill, we cycle alot though. I think it's harder to learn when you get older like swimming.
I think swimming classes for babies are over rated and 5 seems about the right age to be starting swimming lessons.

exoticfruits Fri 19-Apr-13 06:34:32

I don't really see the problem- perhaps I am missing something- she can learn to ride a bike at any age, if she wants to. Maybe she never will, or maybe she will be 13, 23, 45yrs etc.

2rebecca Fri 19-Apr-13 06:52:15

I think if you leave it much longer then she's unlikely to ever learn as she'll be too embarrassed to admit she can't ride a bike and not want to risk falling off. I'd get on with teaching her this summer. I love bike rides though and when visiting relatives we usually head out on bikes with younger kids on trailer bikes. I have a friend who can't ride a bike because she was the youngest of several children and said her parents had got bored of teaching kids to ride bikes by the time they got to her. She does resent them for it but has never been bothered enough to learn as an adult.

Lovelygoldboots Fri 19-Apr-13 06:57:42

I personally think you should teach her. Look on local fbook groups and you should easily be able to get her a second hand bike. All my kids have second hand ones and they have not cost more than twenty pounds. It's not important perhaps, and I certainly don't think you're a bad parent. But most kids like riding bikes. And learning new stuff builds their confidence.

Branleuse Fri 19-Apr-13 07:00:42

my ds learnt last year age 11.
I got him a cheap bmx as they're the easiest to learn on and told him to have fun practicing balancing but not worry about pedalling. within a week he was cycling.

he's dyspraxic too.

kelda Fri 19-Apr-13 07:04:43

You can teach her this year. There is no need to give up. If the old bike is too small, you would have needed to get her another one anyway.

kelda Fri 19-Apr-13 07:05:55

I hate cycling myself, but I want my children to have the choice.

mynameisnotmichaelcaine Fri 19-Apr-13 07:08:44

Ds is 7 and is adamant that he doesn't want to learn. I hate cycling and don't have a bike, dh has two and cycles 18 miles a day (to work and back). I think it makes more sense for dh to persuade him she teach him, and am keeping out of it! Does dd want to learn?

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs Fri 19-Apr-13 07:12:15

DS1 turned 11 last week. He also finally mastered riding a bike last week. He couldn't do the bike ability course in Y5 either. He WILL be doing in this year though!!

It can be fixed!

Snog Fri 19-Apr-13 07:12:55

Her dad could presumably teach her?
How can you say that you would not have time though? Do you never have an hour you can spend with your child? This is the bit I just don't get.

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