To want to tell the teacher she is a b*tch?

[fockingschool]

DD at secondary school in year 7. She has been attending school sport activity since start of school.

Only 11 people turned up yesterday for practise (usually about 20). PE teacher selected everyone except DD to represent the school next week. Even selected two of the girls who didnt turn up to practise and they only joined the activity a month ago.

PE teacher said to DD, I know it's not fair but I cannot take any more.
Also said "you look upset but there is no need to be".

Someone told DD at school from year above not to bother going anymore as this teacher has favourites so doesnt matter how good you are. Suffice to say the school doesnt do well in this sport when competing against other schools.

I am so angry as DD so upset and loves the sport. Am I being immature in telling her not to bother attending again?

DD also in top science set but has been rejected from a science competition even though it's voluntary. Science teacher is making certain children participate even though they dont want to.

Beginnning to think that this is how her secondary experience is going to be like.

AIBU to advise her not to bother putting herself forward for anything else to avoid her feeling rejected?

[DribbleWiper]

YABU

Have you considered actually making contact with the teachers concerned to ask why your daughter wasn't chosen?

[Rubysmommy]

Sometimes life comes with rejection, fair or unfair. To tell her not to put herself forward would be unreasonable - although it's rubbish she hasn't been selected for these things, she may be chosen in the future.

[DribbleWiper]

*In a civilised fashion.

[RedHelenB]

Possibly due to behaviour?

[fockingschool]

I know, I need to chill.

She wasnt chosen because of the numbers. Just thought PE teacher could have handled it differently.

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

So you refer to the teacher as a bitch? Rightho.

[fockingschool]

RedHelen - Not behaviour. Recently had parents evening. Positive praise from all her teachers. Top sets. Told me she is mature and works hard.

[EugenesAxe]

It would annoy me but I would also be thinking why. I certainly wouldn't go 'steaming in' but might have a chat with the teachers concerned about whether there is a problem, and explain how it's making her feel.

I like people to be blunt and would tell them to speak plainly - is she not good enough, bad attitude etc. I think if they are showing favouritism you would be able to tell you were being fobbed off.

[ApocalypseThen]

Is the plan to humiliate your daughter or something?

[HollyBerryBush]

PFBism at it's best!

OP you aren't the PE teacher, you aren't assessing the pupils, you don't know everyone elses strengths.

Storm in, you will be the laughing stock of the staff room. Plus you will give your child that cross to bear for the next 7 years.

[Moominsarehippos]

It just rotten isn't it? I still harbour a grudge against a primary school teacher who chose her favourites to compete in the schools quiz team and they flopped miserably. I have always been a mine of useless information and knew most of the answers and was fuming at the time (still miffed as I love quizzes!). Still, it does teach you, doesn't it?

The thing is, if my mum had bothered to go to the school to argue with the teacher or complain, I know that the teacher would make my life a living hell and pick on me in class for thinking that I was 'too good' or 'aboe myself' or some such. She wasn't a particularly pleasant woman who had blatant favourites and hated me in particular.

Can your daughter join a team outside of school? That would probably be well organised and she would make new friends too. I'd probably try to breeze it off 'oh well, better luck next time. Teachers choice and im sure she knows best, so we have to abide by her decision...'.

[fockingschool]

EugenesAxe - I did ask about the science comp and was told too many children put their names forward. That therefore makes my DD a liar when she told me certain children were entered despite their protests. Also DD's two friends who dont want to participate and have been entered. Also their mums who also told me they dont want to do it.

Because of this, dont see much point in speaking to them about sporting activity.

DD is the sort of girl who is willing to try anything. I know I am being unreasonable but it's so upsetting to see her so rejected. Obviously we BOTH need to toughen up.

[fockingschool]

Moomins - I am currently looking to find a local club outside of school as she loves the sport.

Told DD to wait until she is in year 10 as she will certainly be picked for the team. Apparently most have dropped out by then and they dont have enough to make a team. Wonder why?

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

IME, nothing matters more to PE teachers than whether they think the team they chose will will. They'll accept poor behaviour, children missing pratice, of they think they've got the best team.

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

win , not will

[LadyMountbatten]

presumably you are taking HER word for it of course....

[Moominsarehippos]

No it is upsetting. She will give up even bothering at this rate. I would definitely try to get her involved in external clubs, teams etc just for her self esteem. It's hard getting knock backs at any age but she is still so young to be disillusioned.

I'm sure some of these things are reasonable from the teachers pov. Maybe they feel that some of the kids who didn't put there names down for the science competition would benefit from joining in, or we too shy to do so.

[imour]

yabu it might be hard to take but maybe your daughter wasnt good enough for the team this time , and you did ask about the science and were told it was a number thing , people get knock backs all through life and it probably seems a big deal at the moment because both things happened in a short space of time , an outside activity will probably give her some confidence back .

[fockingschool]

I know I am being unreasonable!

Why do some posters automatically believe that the child is not telling the truth? Do some people not believe some teachers can have favourites and always act in a fair manner? Like in many professions not all of them will be fantastic at their jobs.

Moomins - Yes did think that about science comp and thought perhaps it's because they are shy etc. Teacher trying to get them more involved. I understand this but still a little annoying when others are rejected who are keen.

[trinity0097]

Certain children may be on the gifted and talented reigster for a subject and therefore need to have first dibs on extras as the school need to show what they are doing for them, with spaces being taken up by other people who show willing.

It can be hard for some children to make the adjustment to a situation whereby they are in a year group of over 100 and they can't do/be picked for everything! It can be unfair, but schools don't have limitless resources! I never got to play in a match in any sport when I was at school and I was I only in a year group of 28, it's just life!

[LadybirdsEverywhere]

Why don't you take a positive approach and ask the school what they recommend your DD involved with?

[ApocalypseThen]

Nobody thinks teachers are perfect, but we've all been school kids. Sand I know well there were times when things happened and I went he with a partial story that was a more accurate reflection if my feelings than an accurate telling of the whole story. Not lies as such, but teenagers are terrine for putting themselves front and centre of every event and can't really see other perspectives easily. It's that stage of development.

I don't think parents really help them by believing every single word as the unvarnished gospel truth.

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

True Apocalypse

[TheRealFellatio]

I don't think you'd be justified in actually calling her a bitch, but you'd be right for thinking it. But that's PE teachers for you. It's not the joining in or dedication or the trying hard that matters - it's all about the winning.