to love being just a couple with my DP so much that I don't want us to have children?

[Jescha]

I'm 34 and should probably be getting on with it (in my PIL's opinion...)

[WizardofOs]

How long have you been together?

[Jescha]

12 years.

[Jescha]

Maybe we're just stuck in our ways

[CockyFox]

Of course YANBU having children is an option not a requirement

[McNewPants2013]

Yanbu a child is a huge responsibility if you and do have no desire to have children then why have 1

[BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack]

It's not a neccessity. If you both feel the same way then no problem.

[Snazzynewyear]

Of course you don't need to have children if you don't want them. How does your DP feel?

[LackaDAISYcal]

what an odd first thread on a parenting forum

[roundtoit]

if that's how you feel there is nothing wrong with that, not everyone wants children. I have one DS and its been wonderful but i can remember the times it was just me and my DH and it was wonderful too

[secretscwirrels]

Hmm. That was my thinking. We were together 20 years before DC and I never really had a broody thought but we didn't rule it out.
I was 37 when we decided to make a decision one way or the other. I got pregnant the first month and was terrified I had made a mistake.
It was the absolute best thing I ever did in my life. DS1 is now 17 and DS2 born when I was almost 40 is now 15.
My only regret is not having children just a few years earlier and I would have had more.

[Jescha]

He's ambivalent - he quite likes the idea some days. But he thinks that as it's my body it's ultimately my choice.

According to his parents children ARE an absolute necessity. I don't really care what they think tbh.

[BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack]

Not an odd thread at all. It is not a requirement to be a parent on here any more than it's a requirement to have children!!

[Jescha]

Not my first thread LackaDAISY, I'm a serial namechanger, esp when it comes to anything involving PILs.

[Jescha]

Aw secret that's the kind of thing that could change my mind :)

[Grammaticus]

Why are you asking this on mumsnet? Do you want to be told that you should have children?

[Jescha]

Well mainly I'd like to be told I'm not being unreasonable Grammaticus But if I am I would like to know.

[TheChaoGoesMu]

Sounds reasonable to me. Noone has to have children.

[LadyVoldemort]

Of course yanbu, if you don't want kids then don't have em. Simple

[Squitten]

You are certainly not unreasonable to not necessarily want children. There certainly isn't anything I could point you towards to say it was definitely a sign you should have them - there's no such thing. You either want a little person running around in your life or you don't!

Or, like me, you get pregnant by accident and so just go with that!

[ImTooHecsyForYourParty]

You are certainly not being unreasonable.

It is impossible to be unreasonable when it comes to whether or not you want children!

If you don't want children - you should certainly not have them! A child deserves parents who want to be parents.

Nobody should judge you for deciding that you don't want to be a parent. If you don't want to have a child, you are being very responsible to ensure that you don't have one! A child is not something (I say thing but you know what I mean) that anyone should have because they feel obliged or because other people think that everyone should have kids.

[NoWayNoHow]

Ignore the shitstirrers, OP - it's a perfectly reasonable question

YANBU at all to really think about whether you want children. my honest advice, though, as someone who always wanted kids but has only one out of choice, is that if neither of you is desperate then don't do it.

I love DS more than anything else in the world, but before he was even a twinkle and before he was him (IYKWIM!) and a little personality and entity and spectacular child, if someone had told me how difficult I personally would find parenting I don't think I'd have had kids.

I genuinely think it's something you have to really want to do, and even then it's still going to be a hard slog.

[Lillabet]

Yanbu, lots of people choose not to have children. I have two and want more but that's me and I do occasionally (usually after a sleepless night or a temper tantrum) miss it being just me and DH. It is entirely up to you and your other half so tell pils to butt out

[MorrisZapp]

Run! Run! Save yourself!

Yanbu.

[MorrisZapp]

And what noway said. Me too.

[Jescha]

I would just go with it if I got pregnant accidentally squitten, and would most likely love it. It's not that I don't like children per se, more that I love just being a couple more. But my PIL think it's very short-sighted not to have them because we like life as it is now, because when we are old we will want family around us. I can't argue with that really - but we could have a DC and it move to Australia so you can't guarantee them being around when you're old, can you.