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to be quite enjoying DH being away and considering taking kids on holiday without him?

(50 Posts)
princessj29 Wed 17-Apr-13 21:55:26

I loveDH very much of course but have found I'm quite enjoying him being away with work this week. I haven't had to shave my legs, have eaten tons of garlic and offensively flavoured crisps without a second thought, am snuggled reading in bed with a sleepy DD2 beside me instead of watching football/fishing/police chase programmes. DD2 is much happier as she's going through the ten month old clingy phase and DD1 is really happy to have me uninterrupted. Tomorrow we're having a 'girls night in' with baking, pampering, watching the animal awards and a sleepover in my room! Think DH was a bit offended when he called earlier that no one seemed to be missing him, though of course we told him we are. In the summer holidays I was thinking of taking the children on holiday abroad while he's working (we have a family holiday booked too). I can afford to pay for it out of my savings but feel I'm BU a) for quite enjoying this week and b) considering leaving him while we holiday. AIBU?

ivykaty44 Wed 17-Apr-13 21:57:49

are you really made to shave your legs and watch fishing programs? Can you not be as you are now when your dh is around ?

everlong Wed 17-Apr-13 22:00:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhHullitsOnlyMeYoni Wed 17-Apr-13 22:02:58

I keep telling people it is a lot easier as a single mum!
Mind you, at least you might get dinner cooked now and then and possibly get a lie in (only 2 things I miss!).
Oh and someone to take the bins out.

apostropheuse Wed 17-Apr-13 22:07:34

You should be able to leave your legs unshaven if you want to, whether he's there or not. You should also be able to eat what you want.

YANBU to want to go on holiday with just you and the children. Your DH might think otherwise though!

aldiwhore Wed 17-Apr-13 22:08:06

YANBU to enjoy time apart... although I miss my DH at the moment I do enjoy the 'no need to compromise' aspect of him being away. I'm not opressed by him in anyway and we get along brilliantly, but, sometimes it's just nice to lie spreadeagled in bed.

I wouldn't go abroad without him, but then, we don't really go abroad anyway (not against the idea, but our only wishlist destinations are out of our budget at present and I'd rather be in Devon in the rain than the same priced equivalent as me and heat don't mix) saying that, I am starting a holiday without him and am very excited about it. He's joining us later.

I don't have personal savings and would never dip into 'our' pot, but if it's your money, use it as you please.

MrsTerryPratchett Wed 17-Apr-13 22:09:22

I eat garlic and don't shave my legs. I'm married. I also don't watch fishing programs, they would be MMA or similar with DH but I still don't watch them.

LindyHemming Wed 17-Apr-13 22:10:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StuntGirl Wed 17-Apr-13 22:10:51

Is this more about things you think you have to do when he's around? Would he actually care if you didn't shave your legs? Does him watching his tv programmes stop you watching tv? Can't you have 'girly' time with your kids anyway? (I assume they have one on one time with Dad too?)

malteserzz Wed 17-Apr-13 22:11:18

I can't imagine living with someone I felt like that about I feel quite sad for you and him.

princessj29 Wed 17-Apr-13 22:17:57

No one on one time with him - if he's off we do things all together. He doesn't make me shave my legs, I personally couldn't have sex without having done so and we have sex everyday. He also doesn't dictate what I eat, I just wouldn't eat garlic usually if he wasn't too. Yes I think DH would be upset if we went away without him and I would if roles were reversed but realistically he'd never take them without me and kids would love a holiday so am ttempted.

princessj29 Wed 17-Apr-13 22:20:35

I just like my own space malteserzz - doesn't make me love him any less! I'm very independent whereas he's quite needy and sometimes it's nice to be able to just do exactly as you please

StuntGirl Wed 17-Apr-13 22:22:33

Well I think it would benefit everyone if some daddy/daughter time was introduced. And although it's nice to be considerate and not eat strong flavoured/smelling foods if your partner isn't, it really wouldn't be the end of the world if occasionally you did. I'm sure he wouldn't mind!

I'm not surprised he'd feel upset, he seems rather peripheral from some of what you've said?

WipsGlitter Wed 17-Apr-13 22:25:11

OMG. You have sex everyday!?!!!

Sopster Wed 17-Apr-13 22:27:14 thoughts exactly!!!!

Gorjuss Wed 17-Apr-13 22:34:38

I love it when dh works away and I think he enjoys a bit of peace too. I go away with kids and friends whilst he goes away fishing. So no yanbu. There is nothing wrong with a bit of your own space.

2kidsintow Wed 17-Apr-13 22:41:14

I've taken my DDs away for short breaks without DH. Usually close enough that he can come if he wants, but also last year down to London.

I'm a teacher and he doesn't have as many holidays. The main reason, though, it that he is quite certain about some things that he doesn't want to do -like stay in a hotel in London - but doesn't stop me and the DDs from going if we want.

We've just paid for a seasonal pitch to stick our caravan on the coast so I can whisk the kids away for short breaks in the summer hols as well as the odd weekend. He'll be along for the weekends, but will probably not come apart from the odd drop-in during any trips we go to in the Summer. And I am already planning to take them away again to London as they enjoyed it so much (and so did I).

It doesn't mean that we don't love each other. Or respect each other. And it doesn't mean that he is peripheral. And it goes both ways too. He took DD1 camping last weekend. I'd rather poke myself in the eye with a blunt stick than camp under canvas in April, but they enjoy themselves. So I have girly time with DD2.

My Mum did the same with us in our caravan when we were kids too, as she was a sahm and found the summer in the caravan easier than the summer at home. Both in entertaining us and in having less housework! Dad would come after work some nights, but not all.

princessj29 Wed 17-Apr-13 22:54:17

Yes everyday, I do miss that about him ;-) I like time apart but he doesn't, he wants to wait and all go abroad next year. But even if I don't take them abroad it seems silly that we have to stay home/local when he doesn't finish work til at least 7 anyway

Christelle2207 Wed 17-Apr-13 22:57:40

When I was little my dad took me on holiday quite a bit. Mum was not a traveller but I know she enjoyed the peace and quiet. Neither dad or I felt guilty.

MegBusset Wed 17-Apr-13 23:00:03

I take the DC to my mum's for a few days every summer without DH. I really enjoy it - especially as it doesn't cost anything and I get tea cooked for me and generally looked after smile We do go on a family holiday too. Don't mention to DH there are married couples who have sex every day

wonderingagain Wed 17-Apr-13 23:04:20

Most of my friends have time away without DP. Usually its with someone else with DCs. What do you mean when ypu say he is 'needy'?

malteserzz Wed 17-Apr-13 23:05:09

I do get going away by yourself but it's the not being able to eat whatever you like or relax about shaving your legs which I don't ! Do you feel you have to wear make up etc all the time too ?

SkaterGrrrrl Wed 17-Apr-13 23:08:48

It is perfectly possible to have sex with hairy legs. Hairy armpits too.

HesterShaw Wed 17-Apr-13 23:09:11

Blimey. My legs are live virgin rainforest. If DH doesn't like it he can lump it.

Are you sure you don't feel you have to do these things rather than him pressuring you?

Time apart is always refreshing every now and again though.

princessj29 Wed 17-Apr-13 23:26:39

No pressure from him, he doesn't notice if I wear make up or not.

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