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To get annoyed by the double standard?

(70 Posts)
extremepie Wed 17-Apr-13 18:57:15

Was watching tv recently and an advert for made in Chelsea came on - I don't watch it or know any of the people in it but during the ad one of the women slapped one of the blokes.

Now, I didn't watch the episode but I'm guessing that no one questioned her behaviour or called the police and had her arrested for assault and I felt that if it had been the other way around and he slapped her that probably would have happened.

It got me thinking about a friend of mine and his ex gf - during one argument she slapped him so hard that his glasses flew off his face and yet I imagine the police might have been less than sympathetic if he had called them.

I'm not saying that either sex should be allowed to hit each other but it does annoy me sometimes this attitude of 'well what did he do to deserve it' when a woman assaults a man and yet a man can't even shout at a woman without being called an abuser!

HeySoulSister Wed 17-Apr-13 18:59:11

that was millie slapping spencer.....its a fake show u know

AliBingo Wed 17-Apr-13 19:02:25

I always wondered the same thing, I can't see why it's considered acceptable in some circles for a woman to slap/hit a man.


IsThatTrue Wed 17-Apr-13 19:03:22

I do agree with you re double standards though. But yes the shoe is rubbish and fake, pay no attention.

Midlifecrisisarefun Wed 17-Apr-13 19:05:33

Coronation Street! Tyrone and Kirsty!

mrsjay Wed 17-Apr-13 19:06:51

its is a ducu soap reality made up drama it is all for the dramatics I am sure the guy is used to the odd stage slap he is after all a CAD grin I havnt watch MIC for a while but i did love it

NotTreadingGrapes Wed 17-Apr-13 19:08:01

I don't know the programme but you are right, although I suppose there is generally the argument that a man will almost always be physically stronger which kind of makes it worse. <bad choice of words perhaps>

My name is NotTreading and I once slapped a boyfriend so hard across the face that the entire crowded bar went silent. I have never done it since and I have never forgiven myself. My friend who was with me at the time said it was no small measure of the nice guy he was that he just shook his head and walked away because I deserved a slap back. Not my best moment.

BoneyBackJefferson Wed 17-Apr-13 19:21:11

Either violence is wrong or it is right.

It is that simple


TigOldBitties Wed 17-Apr-13 19:22:26

You should watch MIC, loads of us mn'ers love it see

I think there is a double standard, and part of it stems from the assumption women are the weaker, smaller sex.

I personally don't think there is any difference and I would never hit a man or anyone for that matter without being prepared for them to hit me back.

I guess its a case of women can get away with violence whereas men can get away with being rather promiscuous in a way women often can't. Swings and roundabouts.

TheSeventhHorcrux Wed 17-Apr-13 19:23:13

This is really interesting, I'd never thought of it that way but YANBU at all!
It's assault either way.

yaimee Wed 17-Apr-13 19:24:49

I imagine he probably consented to the slap before hand.
In general though it is no way appropriate to slap a man and I would hope that the police would take any report of domestic violence or interpersonal violence seriously. There have been a fair few campaigns to raise awareness of male victims of domestic violence and the police have been involved in these campaigns, so hopefully their practice has also changed accordingly.

mrsjay Wed 17-Apr-13 19:25:56

OH yes YANBU but I do think these young women thrive in all the drama if they didnt they wouldnt appear on the programme, watched geordie shore once and once only they were battering each other shock

AThingInYourLife Wed 17-Apr-13 19:26:11

"Either violence is wrong or it is right."



Just how can someone hold an opinion as idiotic as this?

Fuck context, fuck provocation, fuck everything.

Slowly torturing someone to death for fun is just the same as self-defence.

Obviously, because morality is all about black and white.

GreenShadow Wed 17-Apr-13 19:30:09

Completely agree with you OP.

There are so many examples of similar things in the modern (developed) world.
Women are allowed to ogle men's bodies but try a man admiring a lady and feminists come down on him like a tonne of bricks. There's an advert on TV at the moment where 2 grannies get their dog to pull down a handsome young man's towel on the beach. Can you imagine the reaction if it was the other way round!

BoneyBackJefferson Wed 17-Apr-13 19:33:21

Give it up Athing

Are you saying that if a women goads a man enough that he has a right to hit her?

Is it right to give the opinion that that a woman has the right to commit an offence on TV because they are the weaker sex?

Violence in the context of the OP (entertainment) is wrong.
Violence in the context of DV is wrong.

You want to to change the context of the thread?

NiceTabard Wed 17-Apr-13 19:38:31

I know OP it is odd.

I think that a lot of soaps show women slapping men (and other women) just as quite a regular thing - Thinking back to dallas and dynasty the women in that were always going around slapping people all over the shop. I think it's something then that many parts of the media see as "dramatic" but acceptable? I guess a lot of shows have men "scuffling" and present that as quite normal as well.

Of course in real life going around slapping people or getting into scuffles all the time isn't acceptable or normal at all.

TigOldBitties Wed 17-Apr-13 19:39:44

I don't think you can be as black and white as that Boney.

In some situations violence is wrong and in other situations violence is the right or necessary course of action.

The point I would think the OP/AThing is trying to make is that the appropriateness of the use of violence shouldn't be based on the gender of the perpetrator or victim.

BoneyBackJefferson Wed 17-Apr-13 19:45:37


Is Violence in the context of the thread right or wrong?

JammySplodger Wed 17-Apr-13 19:50:00

Agree with OP and Tig, especially having seen the actions and results of DV from a female abuser. Not to be taken lightly.

JammySplodger Wed 17-Apr-13 19:52:15

Hang on, not sure who I'm agreeing with... violence / abuse in any situation is wrong.

SugarMouse1 Wed 17-Apr-13 19:52:16

I agree with AThingInYourLife

It depends on the context, provocation etc, people are only human

IMO, a slap is no worse then certain insults, hell, I'd choose to be slapped rather then have certain hurtful things said to me.

However, I'd always refrain from it if provoked by SOMEONE WHO LOOKED LIKE THEY COULDN'T TAKE A HIT- a child, old or disabled person etc.

Now the reality is that most men can easily take a hit from their girlfriends and most women can't.

TigOldBitties Wed 17-Apr-13 19:52:25

Boney it doesn't matter if they're right or wrong, the point is whether they are right or wrong shouldn't be judged on if it was a female or male inflicting the violence.

BoneyBackJefferson Wed 17-Apr-13 20:06:17


I wasn't judging on gender. The OP pointed out the double standard.

I said that Violence is either right or wrong.

If on a TV show a woman can hit a man is it right that a man should hit a woman?

"Fuck context, fuck provocation, fuck everything."

What is sufficient provocantion to allow violent retaliation?

Should (taking the OP for example) a woman be allowed to be violent towards a man because they are having and argument?
because after all "the reality is that most men can easily take a hit from their girlfriends"

does that make it right?

or should we take jammysplodger's point "especially having seen the actions and results of DV from a female abuser. Not to be taken lightly."

NiceTabard Wed 17-Apr-13 20:09:07

Men do hit women on TV shows, but the consequences shown are usually more severe than when women hit men, or women hit women. When men hit men it's a mixed bag of consequences in soaps from what I've seen over the years.

NiceTabard Wed 17-Apr-13 20:11:27

Due to the men usually being bigger and stronger than the women.

TBH no-one has ever slapped me so I don't know about how much it hurts etc but a man did once randomly punch me in the face once and I had a suspected fractured jaw but was OK in the end. Not sure if that helps the conversation any.

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