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AIBU to inform the school?

(43 Posts)
Gossipmonster Wed 17-Apr-13 18:24:08

DD is in yr 9 at high school. She is honest and down to earth and doesn't make up stories.

She came home today and told me that a girl in her yr (who is often in trouble and comes from quite a "well known" family in the area) went into French today (which was 1st lesson shock) and was pissed out of her head. She had a bottle of "water" which she had nearly finished drinking which was actually neat vodka.

DD said the whole classroom stank of booze and the girl was behaving in a drunken/loud manner.

The teacher didn't appear to notice and also had a heavy cold so could not smell it.

If I do anything I will ask for it not to be known it was DDs mum that told them - but should I tell the school? Mainly out of concern for the girl but also from the aspect of safety for all the other kids - anything could've happened and the girl herself could've killed herself with alcohol poisoning.

Or will it just cause a whole load of shit for her at home/school where she is clearly struggling anyway?

Gossipmonster Wed 17-Apr-13 18:25:57

Sorry should've also said - clearly the school prob won't do anything retrospectively but maybe so they are aware in future.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Wed 17-Apr-13 18:27:26

Coming into school drunk might be a cry for help. A quiet word with someone might help her out. And at the very least remind her that it's extremely inappropriate behaviour.

quesadilla Wed 17-Apr-13 18:29:01

I take it going to the parents isn't an option worth considering?

Gossipmonster Wed 17-Apr-13 18:29:50

I don't know the parents personally.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Wed 17-Apr-13 18:30:27

Worth mentioning.

Also worth considering that your DDs version may be a little bit exaggerated - she says the teacher didn't do anything in that lesson, but what happened for the rest of the day if this girl really was rolling drunk?

It was always Martini Rosso in my day...

Gossipmonster Wed 17-Apr-13 18:31:51

She bunked off apparently.

LynetteScavo Wed 17-Apr-13 18:32:24

If the girl stayed in school all day, surely a member of staff must have noticed.

I would be speaking to the school about it, as I would be concerned that this was happening, in a class my child was attending.

LynetteScavo Wed 17-Apr-13 18:33:08

Coming into school drunk might be a cry for help.

I totally agree.

wannabedomesticgoddess Wed 17-Apr-13 18:33:25

Really worth mentioning. One of my friends at school brought whiskey and a knife to school. It was a cry for help but at the time we just thought she was trying to get in with the popular girls so said nothing.

Her life is a very upsetting tale tbh. I doubt us saying something would have changed much, but then we dont know, it might have.

lottieandmia Wed 17-Apr-13 18:33:52

This happened when I was at high school in that year. I'd say it should be mentioned to the school.

mummytime Wed 17-Apr-13 18:39:59

Yes I would report it to my DCs school, they would then have to deal with the information under safe guarding. That report together with truancy would cause them to investigate.
There could be all kinds of underlying reasons for the behaviour.

Gossipmonster Wed 17-Apr-13 18:41:41

I should prob also say - I used to be a drug and alcohol worker - in schools.

Quilty Wed 17-Apr-13 18:43:09

I think you need to inform the school and I agree with asking to be anonymous for your daughters sake.
Very surprised that if her behaviour was as your daughter described that the teacher didn't do anything, having a cold isn't an excuse for ignoring disruptive behaviour. The girl is clearly desperate for attention and it makes you wonder what's going on at home.

middleagedspread Wed 17-Apr-13 18:44:36

It's a child safe guarding (old child protection)issue. If it happened in my DCs class I would have a word with the tutor, who has a duty of care to report. It would all be confidential. You might be doing that child a massive favour.

Hegsy Wed 17-Apr-13 18:45:27

You should let the school know yes

Grammaticus Wed 17-Apr-13 18:46:19

If you used to be a drug and alcohol worker then surely you know what to do??

Gossipmonster Wed 17-Apr-13 18:48:26

When I was a drug and alcohol worker it was all confidential and I would not report back to the school.

This is different anyway it's personal not professional.

I added that in to just point out that I am well aware of safeguarding.

chaime Wed 17-Apr-13 18:56:59

When I was at school in the 90s (and it was a top independent school, underage drug and alcohol abuse happens everywhere) I regularly saw some of the more daring girls bring in alcohol in their water bottles and swig at them not-so-surreptitiously during lessons. A couple of girls in particular would come in roaring drunk, especially on Fridays...

My mum did nothing except to call them pathetic to me grin I think she knew I was disgusted as well.

However if this happened at my DD's school I would definitely tell the teacher and ask for it to be kept anonymous. I like to get a bit more involved than my mum...definitely not as laid-back.

Gossipmonster Wed 17-Apr-13 19:03:08

IME the "rich" kids were the worst - they had the money to buy the expensive drugs.

TigOldBitties Wed 17-Apr-13 19:09:34

I used to do this with my friends all the time in the later years of school and at 6th form. A favourite combo was vodka and tizer.

We weren't 'rich' kids, we were at the supposedly worst comp in a deprived London borough.

We did it because we couldn't really afford drugs, but could easily nick alcohol, or get the guy at the docks to sell it to us at a very cheap price for "kissing" (I'm equally horrified by this looking back).

I probably wouldn't tell the teacher i would just tell my DC to steer well clear and remind them how unimpressed I would be if they did this.

middleagedspread Wed 17-Apr-13 19:45:51

But she is only year 9, so 13?

Gossipmonster Wed 17-Apr-13 19:46:24

Or 14 yes

alwaysinhiding Wed 17-Apr-13 20:20:19

Neat vodka in a water bottle wouldn't smell out a classroom I would bet she's exaggerating, seriously not one pupil said she's drinking miss?

Gossipmonster Wed 17-Apr-13 20:23:42

Quarter litre of neat vodka on someone's breath would!!

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