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Child - father - csa

(15 Posts)
littlehelp Wed 17-Apr-13 15:15:52

Just after advice really

Background - i have a son with ex we split 2yrs ago and my son is 4
He has him on average 3 nights a week

He pays £160pcm towards him
I foot the bill for nursery which on average is £750-800pcm, also all his clothes shoes (he has never bought him clothes or shoes as he believes that is what the money he gives me every month is for)

We found out yesterday what school my ds got into which is great for ds as is close to my home so will make friends in the area

Here is the problem
Father lives about 30mins away from me and claims the fuel costs to take him to school twice a week in the morning and collection is going to really increase his outgoings and make it unaffordable for him to do so let alone pay for after school club if he needs to work.

His suggestion was for him to cover his fuel and me pay for all the childcare again.

AIBU to think that on the nights he is due to be with father that is his responsibilty and needs to arrange to either pick him up or have in after school clubs
And on my nights its my responsibility to sort out collection etc.

He now says he is going to CSA as he wont have to pay as much which will cover his childcare (after school club)
He is self employeed and doesnt declare all his earnings

AIBU to think that £160 isnt actually that much in the first place for up keep and clothes and shoes let alone uniforms pe kits school shoes and acitivites,

We both earn about the same i just feel i have paid alot of childcare upto now which i dont regret as my son has come on leaps and bounds at nursery
He needs to get a grip and start paying his share fairly??

Thanks in advance

sparechange Wed 17-Apr-13 15:21:31

When you say he claims his fuel costs, do you mean he knocks that off what he pays you/should pay you? It seems unbelievable that he thinks the petrol costs to get his son to school are some sort of optional extra or something you should be grateful for.
And £160pcm sounds woefully low compared to what your outgoings are for your DS.
I don't know the formula the CSA would use for working out what he needs to pay, but I'm sure someone will come along here soon with more info.

GreatBallsofFluff Wed 17-Apr-13 15:23:15

If you get tax credits you should be able to get help for childcare from them.

MaxPepsi Wed 17-Apr-13 15:26:21

I'm confused.

What does he do with this son now on the mornings he has him?

If he goes to the CSA they will take 15% of his earnings - which if he's self employed they will base on his tax return, and then take off 3/7ths for the nights he has him.

He might be better off, he might not be.

MaxPepsi Wed 17-Apr-13 15:27:12

Sorry - his son, not this son - that sounds so bloody rude - not intentional.

GoingUpInTheWorld Wed 17-Apr-13 15:28:21

Whats his net salary per week and csa will make him pay 15% of his wage.

littlehelp Wed 17-Apr-13 15:36:49

Thank you for the fast responses

sparechange he thinks that because it will cost him more in fuel (only very slightly) then this should have a knock on effect with money he pays me
Currently i do the longer round trip as his nursery is closer to him but i chose to keep him in same nursery and do the extra traveling so not to disrupt him too much

greatballsoffluff get a small amount of ctc but noway covers nursery

maxpepsi he currently takes him to nursery in the mornings and his school is about extra 10-15 further away
He said that the calculations suggest he only needs to pay £22pw

What i dont get is why would you want to pay less for your child surely maybe its a man thing

GoingUpInTheWorld Wed 17-Apr-13 15:39:25

He didnt bother about you going out your way to take ds to nursery when the nursery was in a very convenient area for him.

Maybe you should remind him of that

jacks365 Wed 17-Apr-13 15:40:50

He will be told to pay 4/7 of 15% of his net income but its harder to enforce when self employed. Its a funny one, try to work out roughly how much he'd have to pay a month and whether you'd be worse off with that or paying childcare. He should pay it when son is with him but if he's going to be an arse about it just work out the lesser of the two evils.

At a rough estimate to get the£160 a month via CSA his net income would need to be about £460 per week

MaxPepsi Wed 17-Apr-13 15:42:13

Wow, a whole 15mins extra in petrol.

What a knob!!

TigOldBitties Wed 17-Apr-13 15:46:12

What an arsehole. I'm no big fan of the CSA, their suggestion on what my ex should pay was laughable, but apparently all he could afford in conjunction with his current 'lifestyle'.

I never got to say that I could only afford X amount, I had to put all my money into food, clothing, childcare and things DS needed but that is apparently different.

Some men are wankers.

x2boys Wed 17-Apr-13 15:50:53

my husband pays well i thought it was 10% but others have said 15% so they are probably right for his daughter from a previous relationship but on only 80% of his earnings as we have two children and csa account for that it works out at £27/week but he is on just over mininmum wage

jacks365 Wed 17-Apr-13 15:53:15

Some men are completely stupid over it. Mines about to get a very big shock when he gets the divorce papers I am going to be just as unreasonable in my demands as he has been in avoiding his responsibilities. Some dads never get it.

x2boys Wed 17-Apr-13 15:57:55

oh and my dh does not have her overnight but as you share care it will affect what csa state he has to pay

littlehelp Wed 17-Apr-13 16:13:24

Seems there is a trend here with Men,

I know what you mean, if he cant afford to pay and i cant afford to pay i still have to pay end of

Will see what he says september is a while away i guess, i wouldnt stop him seeing ds as thats not in anyones interest

But its like trying to get through to a brick wall, he thinks i am just after money and thats it, i just want him to be fair and pay his share!

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