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to be disappointed that my friends are so boring?

(55 Posts)
nenevomito Wed 17-Apr-13 13:34:15

Seriously. It really curtails my opportunities to start threads whinging about or questioning what my friends say and do.

They can't even be arsed to make an offensive comment on Facebook. Bastards.

AIBU to wish that they'd just get off their arses and do something confrontational or cunty just once so I could start a bun-fight over something poinless.

<angry sigh>

kotinka Wed 17-Apr-13 13:41:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker Wed 17-Apr-13 13:56:21

Perhaps you should start the cunty ball rolling ?

Ask the person next to you if they are pregnant, or just fat

I dare ya

kotinka Wed 17-Apr-13 14:02:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker Wed 17-Apr-13 14:07:19

< flicks V's >

BOF Wed 17-Apr-13 14:12:51

It sounds as though you are making that classic Facebook error of only friending people whom you actually like. You might even be compounding it by taking the same approach in real life, which is fatal for thread fodder. Pull your socks up. Surely there's an elderly racist family member you can rustle up? Are you spending enough time on buses?

AnyFucker Wed 17-Apr-13 14:16:44

Spend more time in Asda. Apparently there are some right cunty people trailing around in there to hoick judgy pants at.

valiumredhead Wed 17-Apr-13 14:17:17

You can borrow some of mine if you like? wink

SoleSource Wed 17-Apr-13 14:22:13

Shut up you fat cunt.

<looking for a new friend>

Pickles101 Wed 17-Apr-13 14:22:49

Tesco, too. Tesco is always full of cunts.

mistressploppy Wed 17-Apr-13 14:24:08

I'm a right berk. Befriend me

Cailinsalach Wed 17-Apr-13 14:24:32

I have always found Greggs to be a rich source of cuntish customers....or how about standing in front of the Fruit Shoot shelf in the supermarket? You could start a fight there if you put a bit of effort in?

arabesque Wed 17-Apr-13 14:28:18

Do you have a MIL? They beat friends hands down for being unreasonable, annoying, interfering and tactless. Seriously, anything will do - 'she gave dd a chocolate biscuit', 'she bought ds a new outfit' 'she asked if she could take dc to the pantomime'.

All totally unreasonable actions that you could get a huge thread going about.

AnyFucker Wed 17-Apr-13 14:36:15

Simply leave the house with your children. There will always be some cunty old dear who wants to chat to them, or God Forbid touch them.

Let them run riot in John Lewis's cafeteria.

cozietoesie Wed 17-Apr-13 14:36:15

Sorry Cailinsalach. I was in Greggs at lunchtime and a taxi driver who had just been served apologized profusely for getting in my way at the door.

Greggs is out.

ArtexMonkey Wed 17-Apr-13 14:36:23

God, your friends and all the bus drivers round here.

Not one of them, NOT ONE, has ever punched me in the face for having a buggy. Not even when I had a giant bill and ted bogus journey one.

AnyFucker Wed 17-Apr-13 14:38:43

Get your baps out and start breastfeeding at the park. Guaranteed dirty looks.

NinthWave Wed 17-Apr-13 14:40:07

No annoying neighbours at all? Perhaps you could post a few shits through some local letterboxes. That would start the ball rolling, I feel.

AnyFucker Wed 17-Apr-13 14:41:25

Let your cat out to have a shit in next door's garden every day.

You'll be swapping cups of sugar in no time !

travellingwilbury Wed 17-Apr-13 14:51:26

Me too , they have even got married in a reasonable manner .
And not one spa weekend between any if them for a hen do .

Bastards !

MrsGeologist Wed 17-Apr-13 14:54:52

I know! My friends don't even post stupid, misspelled, offensive rants about forriners on their facebook. [sadface]

KurriKurri Wed 17-Apr-13 14:58:35

In all groups of friends there is always one person who is completely beyond the pale in every way, and a total embarrassment to the others.

Just saying.

grin

edwardsmum11 Wed 17-Apr-13 14:59:36

Like attracts like?

FarleyD Wed 17-Apr-13 15:07:49

YANBU. I have exactly the same problem. It's so bloody unfair when you do your best to befriend people you think might have the potential to offend. All that time wasted and not a miserable moany whingy entitled lazy selfish bugger amongst them. Why me?

Gerrof Wed 17-Apr-13 15:09:34

Go to the school gate, bound to be some twats there.

Give someone EVILS and then report back on them 'shaking and crying'

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