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To tell the teacher about this boys behaviour?

(7 Posts)
ilikeyoursleeves Wed 17-Apr-13 11:17:17

There is a boy in my DS's class (p1) who is age 5 and is a bit of a nightmare. Since day 1 he's been in trouble, I've seen him throw stones at others, hit other kids, push them over and talks back at grown ups. He goes to the head teacher to get into trouble but it doesnt seem to be working. I've just told my DS to steer clear of him which he tends to do.

The other day though I saw this boy try to whack other kids with a stick across their face, not like a gentle tap if he was playing swords or something, but a fast whip of the stick right at their face. He then ran up to another boy with glee to tell him he'd managed to hit a girl with his stick. My DS later told me he'd hit him three times with the stick.

WIBU to say something to the teacher? I'm sure she already knows about his behaviour but it seems to be getting worse, not better. I feel like saying something to the mum too but part of me thinks I should just keep out of it and pray he grows out of it!

Not really sure what, if anything, to do...

scarredpierced Wed 17-Apr-13 11:19:44

I don't know about mentioning it to the teacher but I definitely wouldn't mention it to his mum. She probably already knows what he is like and wouldn't take kindly into others telling her.

taxi4ballet Wed 17-Apr-13 11:21:40

If you have concerns about this child's behaviour upsetting your DS, then yes - definitely have a word with the class teacher, as this directly affects your child.

Probably best not say anything to the mum though - I dare say she is only too aware of his behaviour already!

StanleyLambchop Wed 17-Apr-13 11:27:06

I would tell the school about what has happened to your son, leave out all the other stuff about what this boy has done to other children. Then let them deal with it. I would not talk to the mother about it.

aldiwhore Wed 17-Apr-13 11:29:04

If it happened at school the first port of call in to speak to the teacher, especially if you haven't seen the incident with your son (though you did see him hit other children).

Once you've spoken to the teacher (and other parents of children who've been attacked) you need to ask what is to be done about it, and stay in touch for updates, perhaps suggest a meeting on school premises between you, the head, the other parents and the parents of this child. It's what happened to me, and action was very slow at first, but I was like a dog with a bone and wanted the situation resolved, calmly, for the sake of ALL children involved including the boy who was the instigator of it all.

Because the meeting was a controlled enviroment, everyone was on their best behaviour. It didn't turn into a slanging match, the parent of the problem child was not made to feel like a bad parent, and a resolution could be found. The child wasn't demonised either, but a zero tolerance strategy was formed, for ALL children.

The boy in question is now actually lovely, sometimes young children need guidence as to what is and what isn't acceptable and lessons in how to play inclusively. It turns out that this child had felt isolated for a long time, and being a little shit at least got him SOME attention, strategies were put in place to help him.

If you go direct to the parent, especially if you don't know them, you risk it turning into a slanging match, emotions run high on both sides and it's natural for any parent to be defensive.

I certainly advocate involving parents, through every stage of the process, but not in the playground, via text, or with your mates around!! Seen a couple of nasty scraps when that's happened.

ilikeyoursleeves Wed 17-Apr-13 20:28:18

I chat to the mum quite a lot in the playground, she seems quite nice but she doesn't do anything about her sons behaviour even when other kids come up and tell her he is throwing stones / hitting them etc. She just says 'ok ill talk to him about that later'. hmm

I feel quite sorry for the boy cos he is alienating himself from his peers and if his behaviour doesn't change then he (and his classmates) could have years of this ahead of him.

TheChaoGoesMu Wed 17-Apr-13 20:31:30

I'd mention it to the teacher.

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