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to give up on this friendship

(6 Posts)
Whatatodooo Tue 16-Apr-13 22:41:21

My DD has a friend who she has known for a number of years.
I am friends with her DM and my DH and her DF socialise regularly and sometimes work together.
Both families have shared many interests, activities, holidays over the years.
The problem is, as the DC have grown up I have started to notice that my DD's friend is very controlling and often tries to undermine my DD by making negative remarks about her likes/dislikes or choice of friends. She can be very kind, thoughtful and a good friend but likes things her way and always tries to influence my DD's decisions to suit herself.
I feel like backing away from the friendship as I am tired of the way my DD is being treated. My DD doesn't seem worried but I am getting fed up with it.
Would it be U to distance ourselves a bit or should I pretend everything is ok and carry on as normal? Discussing it with her DM/DF is out of the question as they are very defensive of their DC.

HollyBerryBush Tue 16-Apr-13 22:43:51

How old are the girls?

Whatatodooo Tue 16-Apr-13 22:45:22

11 and 12

HollyBerryBush Tue 16-Apr-13 22:51:32

Year 7? bigger pool of people to mix with? natural separation.

Personally I wouldn't be going on holiday with the other parents until the girls are old enough to not want to go on holiday with parents any longer.

Who had the friendship first? parents or children?

OhHullitsOnlyMeYoni Tue 16-Apr-13 22:52:51

Personally I think your daughter will be encountering people like this in school and later on in life anyway, so she may as well learn how to deal with them under your supervision!

OkayHazel Tue 16-Apr-13 23:57:53

I think you can keep an eye out for her, and offer advice when she comes to you but under no circumstances should manipulate her friendships.

They are her choices, and as she is only year 7, she'll learn to make better ones. Let her learn this on her own, rather than resent you for forcing her friend away.

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