I have NC as known to some poeple in RL on here and I really want to have a bit of a rant/ moan, but feel so very guilty about it as sure it isn't really anyones fault!
I am 35 weeks pregnant with DC3, DC1 is 4, DC2 is 2. This is why I am feeling so sorry for myself;
-DH is a farmer and due to it being lambing time and lots of work needed in the fields I am barely seeing DH at all, he is out from dawn till dusk. Not his fault I know but the house, children, pets, paperwork, bills, everything is falling solely to me.
-I have severe SPD this pregnancy, I am in agony and as I am so stiff I feel really vulnerable taking the children out on my own as DC2 is a handful and keeping up with him is difficult. This also means I cannot sleep at all, I managed about 3 hours last night
-I am still working, I run a small business, and though I will be taking a break I don't have cover till 39 weeks as we simply couldn't afford it. With my previous 2 pregnancies this seemed to be ok but this time I am so, so tired! Before I fell pregnant things were going much better financially, I fell pregnant and we literally experienced disaster after disaster with both my business and the farm, losing about 20k per year so money is suddenly so much very tighter. I am so worried about money and trying to keep things going but it all seems to be down to me to worry about as DH is so busy
- I just feel like a bad mother and a bad wife. When DH is here I just want to moan at him for not being here to help which isn't his fault at all, he is exhausted and needs my support not me moaning! The DCs are feeling my stress and I am struggling to find things to do with them when they aren't in childcare that isn't limited by my SPD.
Sorry to rant, I know I shouldn't, I have the most wonderful DH who works so hard for us, beautiful DCs who are my pride and joy and a healthy baby growing in my belly. we live a lifestyle many envy, but today I just want to cry.
