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To be shocked at how cliquey men are on Internet forums

(59 Posts)
Andtheythinkwearecliquey Mon 15-Apr-13 12:31:20

Name changed as I have been talking about this IRL today.

My husband has an old car that he potters around with and he has been having trouble with something he can't fix so I suggested he ask on a specialist forum if anyone could help.

I was completely shocked that all he got back was people saying you can't just waltz in and ask a question without introducing yourself then a load of weird references to the Lord of the Rings saying stuff like you can't just walk into Mordor, all in bizarre Ali-G speak. WTAF?

ScarlettInSpace Mon 15-Apr-13 12:32:38

Car forums are soooooooooooooooo cliquey, it is hilarious!

grin at the Mordor references though!!

lottiegarbanzo Mon 15-Apr-13 12:32:47

Men, or people interested in cars and internet forums?

BOF Mon 15-Apr-13 12:33:27

And yet the Daily Mail leave them alone! Funny, that.

Passmethecrisps Mon 15-Apr-13 12:34:29

Maybe it was just bad luck. I know my DH did the same and got a massive amount of support from people including offers of physical help. I do know that some of these forums are privately run and paid for by donations from the members. In that instance a wee introduction might be polite.

MrsWolowitz Mon 15-Apr-13 12:34:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Andtheythinkwearecliquey Mon 15-Apr-13 12:35:47

Maybe I have wrongly assumed it was men- I just can't imagine a woman talking in Ali G speak and putting Lord of the Rings pictures and quotes everywhere in their posts in response to someone asking a perfectly sensible question on a site created to deal with a specialist subject?

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 15-Apr-13 12:37:04

He should ask on here.
It never fails to amaze me the amount of obscure knowledge Mumsnetters have.

Andtheythinkwearecliquey Mon 15-Apr-13 12:38:09

He did say he was new to all this- how much of an introduction do you think they wanted- name and address?! I just found it all really strange!

Andtheythinkwearecliquey Mon 15-Apr-13 12:39:11

Good idea LBE it can't be any less helpful than that forum was!

Passmethecrisps Mon 15-Apr-13 12:41:29

I do love the idea of waltzing in.

Some forums have special introduction sections. I think it is just meant as an indication that you might contribute rather than just disappear.

I used a car forum for help with mine as well and didn't get accused of waltzing into mordor. I think he is well rid.

Second that he should try on here.

TiggyD Mon 15-Apr-13 13:45:12

Funny language eh? AFAIK nobody uses funny talk about here when talking about their DPs, Dss, DMIL IMHO. Even the naice quiches on here wouldn't.

TheBigJessie Mon 15-Apr-13 13:50:39

All forums have in-jokes. Most forums don't like post-and-runs, especially as sometimes it's difficult to distinguish them from trolls. If one is going to spend half-an-hour typing about the intricacies of cars, PAYE wage-slips, the French subjunctive or money-saving tips, one wants to feel certain it will be appreciated and possibly paid back later on. Otherwise one will feel used!

it's a bit like real life, where we go to a lot more effort to help someone who is a sort-of friend than a stranger!

Andtheythinkwearecliquey Mon 15-Apr-13 13:53:07

This wasn't funny language so much as the deliberately incorrect use of words like using 'have' and 'has' the wrong way round.

Eg instead of 'I have' it was 'I has' and instead of 'he has' it was 'he have' and in a very Ali-G styley! All interspersed with random pictures and quotes from Lord of the Rings.

To be fair, one person did suggest something useful to check but it was mainly all this weirdly childish, cliquey stuff.

Trills Mon 15-Apr-13 13:54:06

Different forums have different etiquette.

Andtheythinkwearecliquey Mon 15-Apr-13 13:56:35

I can understand that jessie but my husband has no interest in Lord of the Rings or he would have joined a forum which specialised in that.

It justs seems really weird to have such 'in' jokes about something that is nothing to do with the forum in question.

TheBigJessie Mon 15-Apr-13 14:00:14

It justs seems really weird to have such 'in' jokes about something that is nothing to do with the forum in question.

Are you sure you've been on Mumsnet very long? Mumsnet in-jokes: a bat, Terry Wogan's genitalia, pom bears, things-not-to-google (includes "dragon butter"... I could go on. It's just sort of developed.

Trills Mon 15-Apr-13 14:03:35

YABU to be extra shocked at men being cliquey, or to think that men are more cliquey than women.

YANBU to think that that level of cliqueyness is uncalled-for. They could have said "actually it's polite to introduce yourself before asking for help".

Maybe they'd just had a run of trolls, or new posters asking for detailed help that required a lot of effort to answer and then just leaving without saying thanks.

Trills Mon 15-Apr-13 14:04:38

Oh, and "one does not simply walk into Mordor" is not just them, it's all over the internet.

Know your meme

Andtheythinkwearecliquey Mon 15-Apr-13 14:04:56

Yes but all of those things are usually in some context ie mentioned in a thread started by a long time poster.

To liken it to this situation it would be like someone coming on MN asking for advice on how to deal with a particular issue they were having with their child and the responses just saying 'Pom bears never google dragon butter' it doesn't make sense.

TheBigJessie Mon 15-Apr-13 14:09:34

New poster joins- accidentally sets off a trolldar, and gets offered pom-bears? Yep, could happen here. In fact, I think it has.

I am absolutely convinced that they understood all of their own jokes, and thought they made perfect sense. I expect your husband has just given up on the forum now, which in turn has confirmed their initial worst suspicions, and they are glad that they didn't waste their time helping a post-and-run.

The internet- weird place.

ScarlettInSpace Mon 15-Apr-13 14:10:10

'Pom bears never google dragon butter'

grin this has to be the new MN stock response to bridge dwellers grin

Andtheythinkwearecliquey Mon 15-Apr-13 14:10:20

trills I was shocked at how cliquey it was, not that it was more cliquey than women.

I know how cliquey some women are capable of being but I just haven't experienced men behaving in that way.

I can see why people might think their help may go unthanked but it definitely wasn't a troll type post- it was a perfectly sensible techie question about a fault on a car.

MrsMacFarlane Mon 15-Apr-13 14:11:45

There's a VW one that my DH lurks on but never posts. He gets quite a lot of good info from it and some of the banter/jokes are quite funny but says he would never post as newbies are always eaten alive for the first while, he's 50 years old and really can't be arsed with the shite some of these people come out with.

OzmaofOz Mon 15-Apr-13 14:15:04

grin at Pom bears never google dragon butter.
I know what you mean op, I lurked on here for ages before finally posting for advice in children's health - I didn't introduce myself, but still got lovely advice.
Have you asked on here ?

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