To want to help my friend(3 Posts)
A few days ago my friend and her girlfriend had a pretty serious argument which got physical, I was there and saw everything so I'm not just going by what I heard. Girlfriend also pushed me over and went to hit me but was stopped by friend pulling her off me. Friend also denies that her girlfriend hit her at all. I was standing next to them and pulled them apart after a couple of seconds so I did see it all. Friend even said to me later on that night that she couldn't remember what happened but is still saying she wasn't hit. She left that night but came back the next day after talking it through.
Friend was in an abusive relationship, physical and mental, before, which I helped her to get out of so I am extremely protective of her. And although this was the first time its got physical, I have noticed how controlling she is trying to be.
I'm not allowed to go and see her unless she is there too.
She doesn't like me texting.
She won't let me go out with my friend and the kids at all, I lived with friend so I am extremely close to the kids.
If my friend gives someone a kiss on the cheek/hug, she doesn't like it and will argue with her over it, this is her old school friends and a normal thing for her to do.
Finally, the girlfriend said something, which I can't go into, to cause a massive argument and when friend asked her why she said it, it was because she wanted to make her feel insecure and make her need her. That got me really worried.
I have told her all of this, all through text mainly, but she's not accepting it. She listens to me to a point but then suddenly goes back on it all and I know its because her girlfriend is sitting there trying to turn it all around. When I do speak to her on her own I can really get through to her but obviously that never gets to happen much, once in the last month and that was only for an hour. I keep being told that its none of my business and i'm making things worse. She wants me to stop helping her and leave it all go but I obviously can't do that and I'm the only person who knows everything that has happened. I can't sit back and watch her go through it all again.
I think all you can do is be there for her when she is ready. You cannot force her to make the right decisions. You will only alienate her by trying.
Am sure you will be there for her when it finally blows up. I guess you should just keep in touch......wishing you both all the best of luck.
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