I go to a quiz every week with a bunch of other mums. I've been ill a lot the last couple of months and missed about 4 weeks.
Went this week, and when the team at the next table handed us their sheet to mark I noticed their team name.
It was Dead girls don't say no 
It literally made my blood run cold. I wanted to write "this name is disgusting" on the sheet, but the team member who does all the writing for my team wouldn't let me.
All my fellow team members thought it best just to ignore it. They were satisfied by the concession that pub landlord never reads the whole name out when they announce the scores.
Of course I wasn't there when they started. But I'm secretly (well, not so secretly now I'm posting here) somewhat shocked that my team mates haven't said anything. They're so restrained and ladylike. Don't want to make waves, perhaps. One of them's a volunteer with a rape support group, but she didn't seem to think it was important. Maybe it's not. Maybe IABU.
I went up in a break and spoke quietly to the landlord. Told him I thought the name wasn't acceptable in a civilised pub. I was surprised and pleased when he immediately agreed and said he should have done something about it himself at the start.
I told him that a girl was raped last month, only a couple of streets away from the pub, and that to me the team name made a mockery of that. He took my hand, apologised, and agreed to do something. He's going to speak to them quietly. They're customers too.
But I was shaking. It really, really upset me. Was IBU?
AIBU?
to hate this pub quiz team name?
DisorganisednotDysfunctional · 14/04/2013 21:14
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YANBU - I was really upset by a pub quiz team name recently involving a very graphic reference to gang rape. There was absolutely no mistaking what the reference could be to, it was brutal and made me sick to my stomach. It was a lawyer's charity quiz in an upmarket venue, not that it makes it any better if it's somewhere else, but I was shocked in that context that anyone would think it was in any way acceptable
Well done for speaking to the Landlord Op. I would have done so too.
But "shaking" seems like an unusually strong reaction. Do things normally upset you this much? Are you particularly sensitive over this issue? Or is there something else that is making you more easily upset than usual?
Yes. Can't post much about this as it's sub judice and I'm not going to risk problems at trial. But the 16 yo who was raped was a close friend of my DS2 and his gf. She came straight to our house after it happened. Then, because she couldn't bear to have her mum involved, I spent about 8 hours with her in the rape suite. Got home at 3am.
It was terrible for her. Poor little soul.
But it was extremely harrowing for me, too. I've been in turmoil ever since, though the police were lovely. Taken me a lot longer to get over it than you might expect.
Reasons for that I might take on to another thread. PTSD, I guess, from many decades back. The police were very different then.
You're perceptive, Trills. No, I wouldn't normally be shaking.
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