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to hate this pub quiz team name?

(71 Posts)
DisorganisednotDysfunctional Sun 14-Apr-13 21:14:36

I go to a quiz every week with a bunch of other mums. I've been ill a lot the last couple of months and missed about 4 weeks.

Went this week, and when the team at the next table handed us their sheet to mark I noticed their team name.

It was Dead girls don't say no shock sad

It literally made my blood run cold. I wanted to write "this name is disgusting" on the sheet, but the team member who does all the writing for my team wouldn't let me.

All my fellow team members thought it best just to ignore it. They were satisfied by the concession that pub landlord never reads the whole name out when they announce the scores.

Of course I wasn't there when they started. But I'm secretly (well, not so secretly now I'm posting here) somewhat shocked that my team mates haven't said anything. They're so restrained and ladylike. Don't want to make waves, perhaps. One of them's a volunteer with a rape support group, but she didn't seem to think it was important. Maybe it's not. Maybe IABU.

I went up in a break and spoke quietly to the landlord. Told him I thought the name wasn't acceptable in a civilised pub. I was surprised and pleased when he immediately agreed and said he should have done something about it himself at the start.

I told him that a girl was raped last month, only a couple of streets away from the pub, and that to me the team name made a mockery of that. He took my hand, apologised, and agreed to do something. He's going to speak to them quietly. They're customers too.

But I was shaking. It really, really upset me. Was IBU?

tigerdriverII Sun 14-Apr-13 21:16:08

YANBU. Vile and ignorant.

LagomOchLyckaSwede Sun 14-Apr-13 21:16:35

YANBU

foslady Sun 14-Apr-13 21:16:40

No, I'd have been upset too. Especially after what happened nearby.

WishIdbeenatigermum Sun 14-Apr-13 21:26:45

Horrendous. I'm surprised that no other woman said anything. But then I'm a gobby cah.

Coconutty Sun 14-Apr-13 21:27:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fraggle3112 Sun 14-Apr-13 21:30:05

YADNBU absolutely disgusting and very very tasteless! I think you we're restrained in talking to the landlord I think I would have made the team captin very aware of my feelings

Shakey1500 Sun 14-Apr-13 21:31:29

Bloody HELL. That is beyond vile, disgusting and downright nasty. Of course YWNBU. I appreciate that you felt unable to say anything, am glad the landlord will do something. He should have done it sooner but better late than never. Not sure I could have remained quiet.

AKissIsNotAContract Sun 14-Apr-13 21:33:21

YANBU, they are probably Cradle of Filth fans so have shit taste in music too.

JammySplodger Sun 14-Apr-13 21:34:24

Really glad your landlord's going to have a word!

McNewPants2013 Sun 14-Apr-13 21:36:35

Yanbu, tbh I would no longer be part of that team.

MogTheForgetfulCat Sun 14-Apr-13 21:40:45

YANBU. V glad the landlord wasn't dismissive.

KnittedC Sun 14-Apr-13 21:43:53

YADNBU that's truly revolting, well done for speaking up.

Solaia Sun 14-Apr-13 21:45:27

YANBU - I was really upset by a pub quiz team name recently involving a very graphic reference to gang rape. There was absolutely no mistaking what the reference could be to, it was brutal and made me sick to my stomach. It was a lawyer's charity quiz in an upmarket venue, not that it makes it any better if it's somewhere else, but I was shocked in that context that anyone would think it was in any way acceptable sad

Solaia Sun 14-Apr-13 21:46:52

Sorry, should be lawyers' not lawyer's...!

AKissIsNotAContract Sun 14-Apr-13 21:48:56

What was the name solaia?

ShellyBoobs Sun 14-Apr-13 21:50:20

YANBU. How vile.

Solaia Sun 14-Apr-13 21:53:14

It was 'Pin Her Down, I'm Next...' angry

ExcuseTypos Sun 14-Apr-13 21:55:00

angry

Well done for speaking to the Landlord Op. I would have done so too.

mateinthree Sun 14-Apr-13 21:55:15

In a lot of ways womens rights have improved a lot over recent times, but their does seem to be a minority of filth that has gone in completely the other direction. I doubt there's much you could have done in that situation that would be considered unreasonable.

DisorganisednotDysfunctional Mon 15-Apr-13 09:17:51

Thanks. I'm relieved no one thinks IWBU. I was a bit thrown by all my team mates having not said anything. Wondered if I was over-reacting. It's reassuring to hear that I wasn't.

Trills Mon 15-Apr-13 09:23:37

YWNBU to say something, and I'm glad the landlord agreed.

But "shaking" seems like an unusually strong reaction. Do things normally upset you this much? Are you particularly sensitive over this issue? Or is there something else that is making you more easily upset than usual?

DisorganisednotDysfunctional Mon 15-Apr-13 09:49:30

But "shaking" seems like an unusually strong reaction. Do things normally upset you this much? Are you particularly sensitive over this issue? Or is there something else that is making you more easily upset than usual?

Yes. Can't post much about this as it's sub judice and I'm not going to risk problems at trial. But the 16 yo who was raped was a close friend of my DS2 and his gf. She came straight to our house after it happened. Then, because she couldn't bear to have her mum involved, I spent about 8 hours with her in the rape suite. Got home at 3am.

It was terrible for her. sad Poor little soul. sad

But it was extremely harrowing for me, too. I've been in turmoil ever since, though the police were lovely. Taken me a lot longer to get over it than you might expect.

Reasons for that I might take on to another thread. PTSD, I guess, from many decades back. The police were very different then.

You're perceptive, Trills. No, I wouldn't normally be shaking. sad

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 15-Apr-13 09:53:15

Shocking and horrible, really surprised your team members just went along with it! YANBU and hope the landlord does speak to that team.

EllaFitzgerald Mon 15-Apr-13 10:01:08

OP, I think you were absolutely right to speak up and I'm quite surprised no one else did, especially in light of what had just happened.

Solaia - that's vile. Did you say anything to them? God forbid any of them ever have any dealings with a rape victim through their work.

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