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To think 48 is too old to father a child?

(80 Posts)
ali23 Sun 14-Apr-13 19:52:26

Is it? There are 10 years between DH and I. We are swaying over a last baby which we'd both love. I miscarried a year ago and since then it's just not happening and the seed was planted that perhaps it was a sign it split wasn't to be. Also, for the first time in the relationship I feel that it might be unfair on a kid to grow up with its dad not at his former sprightly best. We have been blessed already with 3 dc so we are perhaps being a bit greedy!

DerbyNottsLeicsNightNanny Sun 14-Apr-13 19:56:30

I think it depends on the man! My dh will be nearly 44 when our 2nd (& last) baby arrives and sometimes I think he is pushing it a bit, but then I know a 52yr old man with 6 month old twins who doesn't seem too old

deadduck Sun 14-Apr-13 19:57:12

Not too old. Mine was 47 with our last, also his fourth. He does complain sometimes about being tired etc and he certainly didn't want any more after her, but it's been fine. Actually, I believe having young children keeps you young.

lubeybooby Sun 14-Apr-13 19:58:21

Nope, nowhere near too old.

Best father (and now grandfather) I ever knew of had his first at 54 and 2nd at 57.

My DD's grandad - a fantastic man!

Marcheline Sun 14-Apr-13 19:59:06

My dad was 46 when my little sister was born. I don't think it's too old, but then my dad is now 67 and still playing football twice a week! It depends on the man, to be honest.

How does your DH feel about it?

ali23 Sun 14-Apr-13 19:59:29

Thanks! And, of course, I meant 'simply'.

Latara Sun 14-Apr-13 20:00:01

Depends on the individual man and his attitude to life - i don't think it's too old personally.

BrokenBananaTantrum Sun 14-Apr-13 20:00:02

My own dad was 54 when I was born. He was a brilliant dad. So IME 48 is no problem. smile

mateinthree Sun 14-Apr-13 20:00:15

He's pushing it a bit, the body rapidly deteriorates for a lot of people after 60. Not sure I'd want to look after teenagers in my 60s, but it's increasingly common for people to become parents (even for the first time) in their 40s now. I guess we'll know in 15 years time how that works out for most people.

CMOTDibbler Sun 14-Apr-13 20:00:41

No, not at all. Friend of ours was 57 when his youngest was born - he has grandchildren older than her! He's a fabulous, fun dad at 62

GlitterySkulls Sun 14-Apr-13 20:00:59

nah, my dad was 52 when i was born.

if you want another, go for it!

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sun 14-Apr-13 20:02:07

Is he 48 now? So he'd be 50 or more? so in his 70s when the child was 20? likely to be in his 80s when the child married/settled down/had kids of his own?

Really depends on the individual. Some people are old at that age, really old. Nursing home old. Others are still working!

What are his parents like? What about his grandparents?

I know it's not scientific or anything grin just my observation, but I have noticed that if someone is old by a particular age, their parents, grandparents, etc, often were too. I'm not saying this is everyone. I am just telling you my personal observations, I don't want my arse on a plate with a pitchfork garnish grin

My husband, for example, is nearly 50 but looks like a much younger man. His mum is in her 80s and still farms! Walks several miles a day. Looks 60.

My parents, otoh, aren't even 60 yet and they're old!

BoredBeingSamWestsMistress Sun 14-Apr-13 20:02:20

God no! It's barely "too old" for women now a days, let alone men who don't have so much of a biological body clock to worry about.

eminemmerdale Sun 14-Apr-13 20:02:39

My DH was 43 when ds was born and 49 when dd was born. He does twice as much with them as some dads half his age!! Definitely they keep us both young grin

SurreyWithAFringeOnTop Sun 14-Apr-13 20:02:45

My dad was 47 when I was born (my mum was 41, nearly 42) and he is still going strong now (I am 40). He has always been a very fit, active person, and he never seemed old to me when I was growing up.

ali23 Sun 14-Apr-13 20:02:54

DH up for it, as am I. But we're having trouble conceiving - no previous issues with others - and I suppose it made me think .....and worry and think and worry. DH needed to lose some weight which he has done and we both feel there is just a wee part of our family still to come. As a woman I don't know if you always have that urge, though. I can imagine being 70 and still getting broody at sight of a newborn!

thebody Sun 14-Apr-13 20:03:27

Na, go for it.

ali23 Sun 14-Apr-13 20:05:33

And he'd be 47, about to hit 48 if he hits the jackpot this month!

KitchenandJumble Sun 14-Apr-13 20:06:56

Definitely not too old. Good luck! smile

louisianablue2000 Sun 14-Apr-13 20:08:07

Was just chatting to my Mum over the holidays about the Dad of a school friend of mine. Her father was widowed fairly young and then remarried a younger woman in his 50s. They had two children when he was 58 & 60, the locals were full of gossip about it and how his wife would be a young widow left with two tiny children. His daughters are now 42 and 40 and he's just celebrated his 100th birthday.

You have no idea how long you might live for so there is no point worrying about it, I agree with PPs that children keep you young (I'm in my 40s and have a 7 month old) so just go for it and see what happens.

tilder Sun 14-Apr-13 20:10:03

It's not too old to have a baby but as others have pointed out you need to think 20 years down the line. Am rather sad but would look at the practicalities. Will it affect when you can retire or can afford to retire? Are there any family illnesses that are more likely to become an issue?

Also, depends on how much 'quiet' you were thinking of in retirement.

God I sound like a sad old fart!

Elderwand Sun 14-Apr-13 20:10:43

My DH was 46 with first DD and 48 with the second smile

Trills Sun 14-Apr-13 20:12:28

YABU to think that there should be an absolute cutoff.

Thewhingingdefective Sun 14-Apr-13 20:13:39

15 years between me and DH. He became a dad for the first time at 43 and we had twins when he was almost 48.

I have a male friend that became a dad for the first time in his early fifties. He loves it despite his protests that he was too old to start a family.

simplesusan Sun 14-Apr-13 20:14:40

I think it depends on the individual.

I think some people make great parents whatever their age.

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