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To feel we can't complain about neighbours's music because our dcs are noisy too?

(49 Posts)
Jacksterbear Sun 14-Apr-13 16:24:14

Our Dcs in garden today, running around shrieking and laughing. Neighbours are playing music unnecessarily loudly in their garden. Dh gets really wound up and wants to tell them to be quiet. I say we can't because our dcs are making noise and it's probably just as annoying so we have no leg to stand on. Dh says children playing in their garden is not same as playing music; he says latter is rude, unnecessary and inconsiderate. Do you think it is different? Should we complain? And/or should we be telling our dcs to keep it down while playing? We ended up coming inside as the music got so annoying (and I can still bloody well hear it from my living room angry).

AMumInScotland Sun 14-Apr-13 16:29:15

Unless your children are the sort that have to scream at the top of their voices all the time (and I really do mean scream not the normal yelling and shouting) then I agree with your DH that it's different frm deliberately playing loud music - Music comes with a volume control, children don't. Playing and being a bit loud is normal child behaviour.

KobayashiMaru Sun 14-Apr-13 16:29:17

I imagine they can hear your children shreiking from their living room? Perhaps the music is to drown the noise out?

Jacksterbear Sun 14-Apr-13 16:31:47

kobayashi that did occur to me although they also play music loudly when dcs are asleep/quiet, too.

janey68 Sun 14-Apr-13 16:34:38

No it's not the same: playing music outside is unecessary and inconsiderate- if you want music then wear headphones. Also, there are so many different types of music and what one person loves, another hates; whereas children playing and shrieking is a universal sound and everyone was a child once!

BUT I'd add that even the natural happy noise of children is unreasonae
If its at inconsiderate times such as very early morning, or if it's relentless, or if it's that horrid piercing shrieking which offends people's ears. So you need to judge whether you're children fall into what's reasonable or whether they are probably getting on the neighbours nerves. Also, I suspect that people who are inconsiderate enough to have their music invading others homes and gardens aren't going to be reasonable if you approach them. Don't know what the answer is really, other than try a calm reasonable approach; maybe start by asking if they have a problem with your family's noise and then take it from there

janey68 Sun 14-Apr-13 16:35:33

your not youre

foslady Sun 14-Apr-13 16:38:41

I'd put it down to give and take - if the music carries on til late, then I'd complain

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 14-Apr-13 16:38:45

You could ask them if they'd mind turning it down instead of complaining.
I'd rather have loud music than loud children disturbing my peace TBH.

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 14-Apr-13 16:44:08

I'd leave it personally.

Our neighbours occasionally play loud folk music in their garden which is not my thing at all but its not often and I have 3 children who are outside a lot.

In the interests of good neighbourly relations I'd just overlook it personally.

teacherandguideleader Sun 14-Apr-13 16:45:17

I think a bit of give and take is necessary in outdoor spaces.

I have been in the garden today and there are clearly children out playing. It has been quite pleasant listening to their little games. They must be quite loud though as they are a fair few doors down. Still, it didn't bother me, I'd rather hear children playing than them be cooped up indoors for fear of being noisy. However, if they were unnecessarily shrieking like some children I might get annoyed.

Whilst I was outside, I had the radio on. It was the local commercial station so fairly inoffensive and I had it on at a pleasant volume. I'd be quite annoyed if someone had come and asked me to turn it off. However, if it had been really loud, I could have understood it (not that I would put it on loud, I'd use my ipod for that).

Jacksterbear Sun 14-Apr-13 16:47:00

Thanks for the feedback all. Dh asked politely if they would mind turning it down and they did. And they didn't retort that we should turn down the volume on our dcs, too, which is what I'd worried they might do!

ParadiseChick Sun 14-Apr-13 16:47:56

Don't be so miserable! It's the first nice weekend in ages, everyone wants to enjoy it, get on with your own stuff, leave them be and be safe in the knowledge you're both probably pissing each other off equally!

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 14-Apr-13 16:49:20

' Dh asked politely if they would mind turning it down and they did.'

What a horrifyingly simple solution for MN.
Really OP, you could have got a loooong thread out of it with many outraged and outrageous comments, and now it's all over.

thornrose Sun 14-Apr-13 16:51:25

Today is the first sunny day in ages. I'd hate someone to moan about my music in the garden at 4.30 on a sunny Sunday afternoon!

Jacksterbear Sun 14-Apr-13 16:53:02

Sorry to disappoint, nebulous grin. And good advice paradisechick. Bit of a mountain out of a molehill as it turned out! smile

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 14-Apr-13 16:54:24

But did they turn it down in a PA way? wink

ditavonteesed Sun 14-Apr-13 17:15:17

my friends dont have children and cant stand the noise of children squealing so they put their music on so they dont hear it, doesnt seem like a problem to me, everyone has the right to enjoy the outside on a lovely day, although if you were near me the children and the stereo would have been blown away today.

Nanny0gg Sun 14-Apr-13 17:16:46

Best hope that all your neighbours are enjoying it then, thornrose ...

thornrose Sun 14-Apr-13 17:27:40

I can hear other people's music, children playing, it's a hive of activity out there. Or it was until it got a bit chilly.

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 14-Apr-13 17:32:27

We've got a saxophone player next door who loves jazz.
And a flute player who practices at the bottom of her garden, that links to ours.
Lovely. smile

DoJo Sun 14-Apr-13 19:21:56

Whilst it's nice that there was a good resolution, I always think that two wrongs don't make a right - my friend asked her neighbour to turn down his music only to be told that he was annoyed by the sound of her tumble drier. However, because he had never actually mentioned it to her, I thought it was a bit rich to use that as a reason to be noisy himself. She moved it away from the wall, he moved his speakers and everyone was happy, but if he had mentioned her tumble drier earlier rather than seething about it to himself, then he wouldn't have got quite so wound up and it could have been sorted much sooner.

marjproops Sun 14-Apr-13 19:23:49

thornerose, the diff is that its YOUR music in YOUR garden. NOT everyone elses garden. everyone elses gardens dont want it.

i never get why people HAVE to play it so loud anyway. its supposed to be personal.

and there are things called headphones too .

and yes, YOUR children in YOUR garden too.

but at least they go in after a while!

shewhowines Sun 14-Apr-13 20:42:06

I think even at a low volume that's quite rude. Other people don't want to listen to your music especially if they can only hear the bass or low level annoying noise.
That's a choice to annoy the neighbours. You don't have that choice with kids. Unfortunately they need to play outside.

pigsDOfly Sun 14-Apr-13 20:45:34

Glad to hear your neighbours are all reasonable people. My neighbours (3 students) were playing their loud thumping club type music at 5.30 this morning. Again.

I've complained to them the landlord's agent and the landlord. Every so often it will stop for a while. Ho hum will have to start down the same road again. Roll on July.

marjproops Sun 14-Apr-13 20:51:22

pigsthats awful. ive had similar in past places.

LL's dont care as long as their rent's being paid though.

try env health or noise pollution people.

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