In a nutshell..
MIL now not speaking to me at all because I have 'ruined' her day.
Her day being my wedding day!!
Basically, we (DH to be and I!) want a very low key, no kids, short church wedding with a short, civilised meal after the event. The only child coming is our own (small baby)
Apparently, I am selfish, mean and 'playing games' because I am not putting family first and inviting everyone from her side of the family. The kicker, we are not inviting DH's baby nephew who is 'her world' and should be the focus of attention at her son's wedding!!
I have been polite and put her with her crazy ways over the last 4 years. Last night, she tipped me over the edge and I told her exactly what I thought - which pretty much ended in, 'My day, my way..don't really care whether you approve of our wedding plans or not, come, don't come, it's your call, but please don't dictate to me how to celebrate my wedding day'
So, AIBU or is she? And is this salvageable??!! 
AIBU?
If you are a MIL, help me understand this crazy behaviour!
Wishwehadgoneabroad · 14/04/2013 11:34
SIBU -but you already know this. 
The problem is how to deal with her meltdown which will surely occur now you have stood up to her.
I am tempted to say though that if this is the first time you have blown up at her despite previous provocation then this might be a turning point and you could find she is much better behaved around you in future.
But it does depend on the previous relationship you had .
Plus, what was your STB H doing/saying during the conversation? If he wasnt present what does he say now? Is this a common type of demand she places on you and others . IS the nephew ' her world'?
If this is totally out of the blue then maybe she is stressed about something else entirely and the wedding just brought it all out. But if its par for the course then you may just have to distance yourself from her on a day to day basis .Keep things as polite as you can for the familys sake and just get on with the wedding your way.
Oh and congratulations .
YANBU, well done! Stick to your guns, if she wants to come, then come. If not, well she's cutting her nose off to spite her face.
I had something similar at my wedding, although it was my family. We had a very small wedding (10 people), and only wanted DSD and DH's nephew there as the only children there. Both my mum and nan had massive tantrums because we weren't inviting my huge family. My nan decided not to come at all, and my mum only came to the registry office. She decided she couldn't possibly sit in a restaurant (we only had a meal, no party) for the afternoon with my dad (they were recently divorced). So she went home and cried, some how this was my fault. 
Keep standing up for yourself.
Congratulations wishwe 
YADNBU. Great that you stood up to her. She sounds a little on the narcissistic side, tbh.
As another poster already said, keep out of her way on the day.
Good for you. My mil was the same. The day I married her son was the day her family was torn apart .
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HA HA! I also had the whole champagne thing with my mil! It was the one thing I opposed her about-she wanted my mum to pay for it. She was not happy and I know she tells everyone to this day that she and fil payed for entire wedding!
Total bollocks!-they paid for the meal and for dh and bil suits. My mum paid for my dress,all accessories,bridesmaid dresses and accessories,hair and make up for all,cars and bought a couple of rounds of drinks too.
Please keep us updated op-this has the makings of a classic thread
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