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to try to impose a bedtime that suits me...?

(11 Posts)
AliBean Sun 14-Apr-13 09:45:11

DS2 is 19 wks and a fantastic sleeper...but his "nightime" is from 11pm til 11am with a feed at approximately 8am. So I am very lucky in that I get a undisturbed nights sleep and time in the morning to spend time with DS1 and do stuff around the house etc. However I spend yhe whole evening juggling cluster feeding DS2 with dinner etc and never get a moment to myself to do anything other than sleep. By the time DS2 is asleep its after 11 so I am tired and go to bed as up with DS1 at 7 if I am lucky.
I run our catering business from home and whilst DP is in charge of all the production I am responsible for admin and need the evenings to catch up...
So I am aware I should be very grateful for my 8ish hours of sleep as baby is less than 5 months old but I am constantly trying to find the time in the day to do work/housework and think DS1 is feeling neglected as I rush around trying to get my to-do list done but stopping to feed DS2 as required. So I think this might be making him feel jealous of his little bro.
So basically I would like to have both DC in bed by 7:30 even if he wakes at 3am for a feed. I'd rather have a broken night than no evening. How can I change DS2's bedtime? I read on another thread that I need to start waking him up in the morning at the "right" time. So I need to be waking him up earlier each day so he is tired earlier in the evening...does this sound right? Any help gratefully received! grin

yaimee Sun 14-Apr-13 09:52:05

No yanbu, it's completely up to you!
I think the best advice I read was to stagger the change, so try to move bedtime backwards by half an hour a night but keep the same bed time routine, so bath, story, feed, bed or whatever you do at the moment!
Hope this helps!

yaimee Sun 14-Apr-13 09:54:56

Just to add, hopefully by changing the bedtime, the waking up time will change naturally. An over tired baby can be quite hard to get to sleep!
be prepared to spend a fair amount of time working out a routine that works for you!

seeker Sun 14-Apr-13 09:58:11

I really, really wouldn't. Honestly......no, no, no! the potential for disaster is just too big. i would change your routine somehow to fit his- bearing in mind that his will probably change soon anyway.

Branleuse Sun 14-Apr-13 10:16:02

i would, id stagger it down by 20 mins every couple of days, till hes sleeping 9-9

goldenlula Sun 14-Apr-13 10:22:45

Ds1 used to settle at 10pm and sleep through a bit younger than your dc, so I did as Branleuse suggested and just moved it 15 mins earlier every couple of nights until we got to the time I was happy with.

AliBean Sun 14-Apr-13 10:24:00

yaimee I have tried moving bedtime but all that happens is I sit upstairs with him feeding but asleep in my arms, crying each time I put him down until we reach 11pm then its like a switch has flicked and he happily drifts off in his cot! So am thinking if I wake him a bit earlier by 20-30 mins each day then coax to bed a bit earlier each evening that may work?
seeker that's what I am worried about!
Branleuse thanks...do you think it will work if I wake him earlier then try moving bedtime back by the same increments?

b4bunnies Sun 14-Apr-13 10:28:36

the baby's bedtime isn't the problem, its the other things you're having to do as well. could you buy in some admin help for six months or so?

HerrenaHarridan Sun 14-Apr-13 11:05:04

Tbh as a pp said this routine will probably only be temporary any way so maybe go with it another month or so before trying to adjust it.

In that time introduce some triggers into the bedtime pattern, a cd, a bath or whatever and then you can try moving them.

Personally I do not wake babies!

Bear in mind in a few weeks he'll be starting solids so you may find he will cluster feed less in eve especially if you give him breast milk porridge supper before what you decide should be bedtime smile

KD0706 Sun 14-Apr-13 12:08:19

I'm afraid i would just roll with it for now too.

Cluster feeding won't last for much longer I don't think.

If you're really keen to try to change things, I'd agree with the poster who said introduce a few bedtime triggers, so say at 10.30, bath, cd, story - something that tells them it's bedtime. Then put to bed at 11pm as normal.
Then after a few days you could start your routine say 15 minutes earlier.

AliBean Sun 14-Apr-13 19:39:46

Thanks ladies...I wrote a proper response to you all and phone logged me off beforeI could post...aannoying! Basically I can't afford any help. I have to do all of it but posting this thread today has forced me to think about the situation in a different way...only a few more weeks til weaning, DS1 back at nursery 2 days a week from tuesday so the morning when baby is sleeping can admin time. Easter hols had addled my brain a bit!

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