To think DP is being an idiot?

[honeytea]

I am not sure if I should say something to dp when he comes home.

DP has taken 3 month old ds to watch the ice hockey at a family member's house, it is the 1st time he has taken the baby out without me. I was skyping with my mum when they left and I said I would come over after we had finished chatting (they were only over the road.) I called dp and said actually maybe I should just stay at home and tidy up and cook dinner, he said great, he will bring ds home if he gets hungry.

I called dp about 45 mins after they left (when I was finished talking to my mum) to ask him to buy some rice from the shop on their way home, dp said have you tidied up, I said no not yet, he shouted "well get your lazy arse off the sofa and tidy up, I am looking after ds you should be doing something" I fully intended to tidy up I was just thinking ahead about dinner. I pointed out that I look after ds 24/7 (and I love it) and I have done a quick tidy round today already where as he has done nothing.

So I hung up and opened a can of low alcohol bear and mumsnetted for a while. They still are not home, dp text to say ds was asleep and he will buy the rice on the way home.

Dp is usually lovely and we share housework, he has a very sore back at the moment. AIBU to think he was wrong to talk to me like that? There was no hint of a joke in the tone of his voice he was serious.

[lottiegarbanzo]

YANBU at all. Does he not enjoy spending time with his son? Is it seen only as a task?

[honeytea]

He does like spending time with ds, he was disapointed when I suggested I kept ds at home so my mum could see him on skype.

[LittleEdie]

Totally out of order.

[Eebahgum]

I suspect he was joking. My dp says insensitive things like that as a joke. Still doesn't make it ok though.

[TimeIsACurrency]

I hope he was tying unsuccessfully to be funny like Eebahgum said. But if not, he's an arse.

[musicmadness]

It just sounds like he was joking to me.

[GruffaloAteMySocks]

YANBU, I wouldn't do anything after someone spoke to me like that.

[Eebahgum]

Like I say, still doesn't make it ok. I'm considering having a word with my dp about how saying things like this is upsetting/annoying and he shouldn't do it.

[honeytea]

He just called he wasn't joking, he has been instructed to buy me something nice at the shop to say sorry!

[ClippedPhoenix]

Do you have any friends nearby? I'd also tell him that due to his foul mouth and you being upset you need some "me" time and are going out for a couple of hours this evening!

This needs totally nipping in the bud and now!

[SorryMyLollipop]

He has been "instructed" - oh dear, shame he didn't think of that himself.

YANBU

He is BVVVU

[livinginwonderland]

are you sure he wasn't joking? did he say he wasn't, or is that just your assumption? sounds like something my partner would say as a joke, to which i would promptly say "oh, piss off!"

[honeytea]

Ds is getting over a cold and all my friends have babies/small kids I don'treally want to go and share our family germs, I think maybe he was stressed by the reality of being in sole charge of a small person, hopefully it will have opened his eyes to the reality of everyday life for me and ds at the moment.

I did say to him it wouldn't matter what I had or hadn't done, even if I had had done something relaly bad he must never speak to me like that.

[LadyVoldemort]

Yanbu, he should not speak to you like that at all. Tempers do fray so easily in those first few months of a baby being born though, as long as he apologises and doesn't do it again I'd let it go.

[LouLouH]

Or just do something as payback. My OH called me fat (im a size 10) during an arguement which he done purely to uoset me as he knows im particular about my weight. Anyway I deliberately snipped part of the thread on a button on his work shirt that night that he had hung up ready for the morning. Following day he came home from work sat in armchair to play xbox and low and behold it popped off as planned. I laughed in his face and said who's fat now?!!!

[honeytea]

What a good plan loulou :)

[LouLouH]

Or my aunts favourite which I could never do regardless of how angry, clean toilet with his toothbrush.

[RhondaJean]

Grown adults do that type of thing to each other?

[wendybird77]

Yes they do. My mum confessed to me that she uses my dad's face towel to clean up his sink as he just leaves his shaving mess there. She then hangs it back up for him to use. This is a very big deal to her (OCD neatfreak). I suspect she also uses his toothbrush for the odd cleaning job.

[LouLouH]

Of course grown adults do that type of thing to each other! Lol. I'd go mad if I didn't! I hate porn and my OH knows it. I had just bought a new phone and it has a great screen, he asked to use it (loves new gadgets) so I gave it to him and went up to bed. Next evening I noticed a download on it (you guessed it, porn) I was shaking with anger, but instead of going off on one I walked downstairs picked up his favourite xbox game and broke it in half right in front of him. When asked why I did it I gave him my phone that had his little download on pause.

[SirBoobAlot]

LouLouH your last post is a bit actually. Doesn't sound like a healthy relationship...

OP YANBU.

[DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper]

Oh dear, I'm have a flashback to The Twits. What's next, worms served up in bolognese sauce...?

That's not to you OP, by the way.

[Callisto]

LouLou - no, adults do not behave like this. I think you must be winding us up with your last post.

[LouLouH]

Haha it is healthy, lol! I dont have any more examples (healthy or not) though.

[ConfusedPixie]

YANBU, hope he brings you something good!

LouLou: Doing something to purposely upset the other is not normal.