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to have had enough?

(14 Posts)
TheYoniWayIsUp Sat 13-Apr-13 00:42:22

The last 18 months or so have been absolutely shit. I have watched a dear family member die. I have fallen out with a good friend. I have had some horrible 'issues' within my wider extended family which have now come to a head and resulted in a massive fall out, meaning my section of the family are effectively being cut off.

My DH has lost his job, so money is painfully tight and we've had to cancel our holiday plans.

I'm having real problems with my mother, who has always been difficult but I'm struggling to cope with her any more.

To top it all off, I'm ill . It's only a virus but I've had it for weeks.

I can normally power through these things. I'm quite a tough cookie. But I'm really struggling to bounce back from this. Every time I turn around something else has happened. So many people who I used to rely on are either gone or completely different now, which doesn't help.

I don't know what the point in this is really. I just needed to get it out.

LinghamStyle Sat 13-Apr-13 00:47:29

I can't really offer advice but I can sympathise with you. This year has been crap for me so far, starting pretty much as soon as the bells chimed midnight. 13 truly is an unlucky number for me and I can't wait til the year ends - and its only bleeding April!

So anyway if my lottery numbers come up I'll treat you to a Brian special, perk you right up that will!

TheYoniWayIsUp Sat 13-Apr-13 00:57:27

Thanks lingham. Maybe Brian will fix it all!

The worst thing is, last year was so shit that this year was going to be better! But not so, unfortunately. There are other things that I haven't mentioned in my OP. Such as a friend of my DS dying suddenly. Life is just a big crock of shit.

BabylonReturns Sat 13-Apr-13 01:01:30

I'm absolutely weeping at you NNs!!

I'm sorry stuff is shit for you Yoni, try to stay positive smile

BabylonReturns Sat 13-Apr-13 01:01:51


TheYoniWayIsUp Sat 13-Apr-13 01:05:44

grin At least I can make someone smile, Babylon!

I feel so needy posting about this shit on MN. But I've had to stop discussing it in real life because I'm turning into that friend.

lisad123everybodydancenow Sat 13-Apr-13 01:06:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheYoniWayIsUp Sat 13-Apr-13 01:14:08

Thanks Lisa. I do try hard to concentrate on the good stuff. My DH is lovely, I have 3 beautiful children. I have a decent job and the money situation could be worse.

I am trying to change stuff too. I'm making more effort to develop some nice friendships. While DH is between jobs he's getting a lot of work done round the house (Money permitting) and we're getting much more family time.

It's just so bloody hard to keep on keeping on, you know? sad

lisad123everybodydancenow Sat 13-Apr-13 01:16:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LinghamStyle Sat 13-Apr-13 01:22:12

That's what MN is for Yoni, I've thought a lot recently about posting all my woes however I'd probably be called a troll! Also, I'm a terrible one for ignoring things til they go away instead of dealing with it asap as I should do, and I think seeing it all in black and white would be too much for me right now <<coward>> I suppose when I'm ready I can post and some viper forthright poster can come along and tell me to "get your shit together" and I will grin

YonirockandrollbutIlikeit Sat 13-Apr-13 01:37:02

I'm sorry Up it sounds like you've had a load of stuff happen to you.

Big un-mumsnetty hugs to you xxx

PS I've got a friend called Brian who might be able to help you relax...

TheYoniWayIsUp Mon 15-Apr-13 00:05:02

Thanks for the support. It is nice to know people are out there ready to listen when you need to get stuff off your chest. Hope I can do the same for you guys one day.

As for me...well, I've had a difficult few days. I'm stressy and moody and frustrated. BUT- at least I know I am, and I get it, iyswim. I have decided to make a conscious effort to make myself feel happier.

I can't wave a wand and make it all go away, but I can take care of myself and focus on the positives.

I'm trying to think of things that will help. So today I took a vitamin tablet and listened to music whilst doing housework. Small things, but hopefully will make a difference. The music thing...I always used to listen to music, but I seem to be so caught up in the drudgery of life that I have forgotten about the simple things.

I have also decided to 'fake it till I make it'. I had been dreading going back to work tomorrow (teacher) because of the inevitable 'how was your holiday?' question. But I've decided I'm just going to lie! 'Lovely thanks, did a bit of DIY'. Fuck knows why I haven't thought of that before.

So, if anyone has any tips on pulling myself out of this shit, please pass them on!

Apileofballyhoo Mon 15-Apr-13 00:35:59

Try and have some things to look forward to - I know you said money isn't great, but even a film night with your DH with a glass of wine on a Fri, or an hour to yourself of reading, some activity with the DCs that's fun, a long bath - just things in your week to look forward to. I'm sorry for your losses and that you've had such a hard time. Sometimes we do take a battering and just need time to come back to ourselves.

OhTheConfusion Mon 15-Apr-13 08:45:22

DH and I found ourselves in a really tight situation a few years ago... things have turned around now and we have made it to the other side. Hang in there.

I have always been a 'make the best of it' kind of girl... DH is a complete dweller, so I had to find cheap and easy ways of keeping our spirits up. The things we did that worked best were:

Radio on, Sunday papers and brunch at the table followed by a long walk around the local country park or by the seaside then home for a roast.

DVD nights (£1 bag of popcorn or sweets to share a all snuggle up on the sofa).

Saturday became housework, DIY or gardening day to keep us amused and it really is true.... a bright tidy home helps!

Read for pleasure (ie. NOT JUST JOB APPLICATIONS!!!). Our local charity shop did 3 paperbacks for £1!

If the kids are at a friends, grandparents etc have a 'date night'. You don't have to go out or spend a lot... set the table, dress up a little, make a nice pasta and salad and have a cheapish dessert. Share a bottle of wine and have fun in place you can't when the kids are home!

DH treated job hunting like a 0.7 job (can you tell he was a teacher too wink) and used the remainder of the week to write (the writing is part of what helped it turn around).

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