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Just need to vent.

(12 Posts)
PregnantPain Fri 12-Apr-13 21:07:33

I don't even know where to start.

I am 23, living with DP and 21 month old DD, and am 36 weeks pregnant.

I am getting increasingly frustrated with DP. He has openly admitted that he is sick of being told to do stuff. I have SPD so am having to ask him to do more round the house. He is fine with looking after daughter but I have to ask him to do more nappy changes at the moment as it is difficult for me to get down on to the floor to change her myself. I hate being like this, not being able to do things as easily.

The other thing is he is in charge of washing up. It would make sense to do this on a daily basis, as we use it type thing, which is how I would do it if I could stand at the sink long enough (pathetic I know) but no, things are left on the side to build up to the point it takes him at least 30-45 minutes to do. Even then he cannot get through everything as he runs out of room on the draining board. I can't clean the sides down very often because of all the stuff piled on the side (we have a really small kitchen too)

The rest of the house is slipping behind tidy wise as well, and obviously with another impending arrival in a minimum of 4 weeks, I want everywhere at a level where a 10-15 minute clean is all that is needed. I want to get the rest of DD's toys into her room as the last thing I want while carrying a newborn round and recovering from labour and birth is to be tripping over her toys. DP agrees with this but has he said 'come on let's get it sorted I'll do the lifting'? No. I have said a couple of times can we get some tidying done,and he will be staring at his PC screen playing some crappy game as per usual and won't be listening to hardly anything I am saying.

If I leave DD in the living room with him and go into the bedroom to sort baby clothes/lie down etc, I have lost count of the times I have walked in to see DD about to get herself into mischief (mostly climbing onto sofa and attempting to get things down off windowsill, its not the things on the windowsill I am so concerned with it is the fact that she could very easily fall, She is accident prone as it is just trotting around normally (a trait she sadly gained from me)

Sorry this if this is disjointed and rambly just been wanting to get this out for a while.

PregnantPain Fri 12-Apr-13 21:09:10

I'm actually unsure as to why I felt it necessary to mention how old I am blush

LastMangoInParis Fri 12-Apr-13 21:13:14

Hello, Pregnant.
Just wanted to say, I get your vent and have had a 'fgaahhh' on your behalf. Don't know if that helps, and someone might be along with something more constructive soon, but YY, you've every right to vent. And every right to more sorted organisation around the place than your getting from DP.
Happy to hear you vent! brew

PregnantPain Fri 12-Apr-13 21:21:31

Thank you LastMangoInParis it is nice to know I might not be being just completely irrational grin

lollilou Sat 13-Apr-13 10:06:10

I think you need to sit down and talk to your DP. Work out a plan of what you need him to do. Could you afford a cleaner for a few weeks? Or have family who could help? Not that your DP shouldn't share the load but men seem to have a different view on

PregnantPain Sat 13-Apr-13 11:41:43

I wish! We are both unemployed at the moment sad long story there. We had a bit of a row yesterday blush about the amount of time he spends looking at PC, he got up with DD and actually sat with her instead of having back to her on PC, and is currently doing the rest of the washing up, he did some last night as well. I think something has clicked and he realises just how much I need his help, lets hope this continues because I can hardly walk today sad

Wish the midwife would agree that I may have SPD as the GP I spoke to said it certainly sounds like it, but midwife says no, it is pressure from baby's position. Is it fuck but I digress.

pinkyredrose Sat 13-Apr-13 11:49:08

Listen, he isn't 'helping you'. He's doing his own housework in his own house. It's not your job by rights. You don't need to be 'helped'. He needs to do the things that need doing.

This needs to happen all the time not just for a few days after it's mentioned. Otherwise when your baby arrives you might find you're living with 3 children not 2.

Congrats btw.

BlackeyedSusan Sat 13-Apr-13 12:28:04

I am off to play computer games too for a few minutes, mumsnet is full of selfish dps today and I have had enough of angry

I asked h to pick up stuff around dd's cot as I could not get to the floor when pregnant... he said it would be his responsibility, but only if I asked him to do it each time.

yanbu. i hope that your dp pulls his finger out and gets on with stuff.

PregnantPain Sat 13-Apr-13 12:58:56

The funny thing is he wants to be a SAHD when this one is born so I can go to work. I don't think he is fully aware of what this will entail. I told him yesterday there is no way I am leaving 2 small children at home with him if I can't trust him to keep a proper eye on DD.

pinkyredrose Sat 13-Apr-13 13:51:58

He wants to be s SAHD?! Ask him how impressed he'll be when you come in from work and immediately start playing computer games while wondering where your dinner is and why last nights washing up isn't done!

PregnantPain Sat 13-Apr-13 14:14:50

I have asked him, if he doesn't like being told to do things all the time what is he going to do when there are two children with demands 24/7 in need of his help, he said that's different. Riiight.

pinkyredrose Sat 13-Apr-13 15:32:27

Different. okaaaaay. He's got his head in the sand hasn't he.

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