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AIBU?

to feel a bit fed up/jealous

11 replies

sb89 · 12/04/2013 20:27

Well....i have 2 beautiful boys and due to financial problems we all had to move out of our lovely rented house to my mom and dads house. We are currently all sleeping in one bedroom and very fed up, as we don't have our own space. Anyway OH brother has just announced him and his GF are expecting, and they are buying their own house...im just so fed up as MIL just keeps going on about it. We have been waiting on the council for a year but still not got anything. I just feel so down that everybody seems to be getting their perfect family life,and we are just stuck at my parents. Hopefully we will have enough money in a few months to put a deposit down and rent, just feel a bit disheartened that's all. Plus i don't have any friends since ive had kids, they havnt really stuck around. OH just seems to grumble when i spoke to him about it, saying in being silly, which i probably am!! Xxxx

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chocoluvva · 12/04/2013 21:40

YANBU to be fed up. Being cooped up like that is bound to be stressful. I was up the wall after 3 months staying at my ILs when DD was a baby.

Do you get some time to yourself to do some exercise or socialise?

Good luck with getting your deposit together :)

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Pancakeflipper · 12/04/2013 21:44

That cannot be fun. But use this to spur you on to saving for that deposit. It will be so brilliant to have more than room again. Keep going. It will get better for you.

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forehead · 12/04/2013 22:29

Don't be disheartened OP, many people have been through this.
It's just a temporary arrangement.
You need to try and use this experience to spur you on.

Dh and i have had many financial difficulties in the past(including the loss of our home). However, things have improved greatly and we are doing very well. In fact, i am almost grateful for the experience, because not only did it strengthen our marriage, it has also allowed me to empathise and encourage people such as yourself , as i have ;to use an old cliche , 'walked in your shoes'

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belfastbigmillie · 12/04/2013 22:30

Poor you :( Make sure you get out as much as possible, just for breathing space. That would piss me off too.

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sb89 · 13/04/2013 07:48

Aww thanks for your kind replies, Feeling a bit better today just trying to focus on getting through the next few months until we can move out. We are going to the park this morning as i'm looking after my niece.
chocoluvva - I was thinking of joining slimming world, ive put so much weight on since being at my moms! Havn't got anyone to go with though so may just go on my own!
Thanks again all xxxxxx

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MammaTJ · 13/04/2013 08:27

You don't need anyone to go with, Slimming world is a friendly place to be.

Good luck with getting a new home for yourself and you family.

Has the social housing been taken over by a HA or is it still council where you live?

I would give you one piece of advice, as you are already on the housing list. Ring, every single week to speak to the decision maker. Ask very politely if there is any progress. Chat nicely. If there are two people in the running for a house, both on the same band and equally eligable, then you would be the one out of those two to get it.

Are you on gold band? Or do they not do it like that in your area?

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sb89 · 13/04/2013 09:17

Hiya, its still council here. IM on band 4, there are 7 bands 1 being the top priority. We are on band 4 which is a pretty long wait, and ive appealed twice!! Just kind of given up with them now but still been bidding every week. They say we only lack 1 bedroom as my boys can share...
thanks for your advice xxxx

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AirDuster · 13/04/2013 09:56

This has been a horrible recession and the housing situation in this country is just awful.

I'm struck that you say 'They say we only lack 1 bedroom as my boys can share'.

To be honest I don't know much about housing, but this doesn't sound quite right. It sounds as if you are legally homeless (the rent was unaffordable on your last home) rather than just overcrowded. If so, you are staying with your parents as an emergency solution, one which isn't sustainable - rather than being part of a permanent, overcrowded single household which includes your parents.

I'm sure your parents are happy to help, but sharing a room with your DCs is not a long-term solution. Maybe somebody here with experience in this area can advise?

I do hope it works out for you sooner rather than eventually. Chin up, you're doing really well.

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sb89 · 13/04/2013 13:22

Thanks airduster, everyones been so nice with the replies. When i appealed i said similar things to what you just wrote, and i appealed twice. They did move me up a band to band 4, but basically i think we would only have a better chance if we were all on the sofa! I think its because there are so many families on the waiting list. We are so fed up that privately renting is our only option. So we are looking for somewhere as cheap as poss. We are so lucky in many other ways though, sometimes i think i just feel a bit sorry for myself! Xxx

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foslady · 13/04/2013 15:24

OP, are the HA aware that not all the bedrooms are available for you to sleep in at your parents? And that you are overcrowding and living with family?

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sb89 · 13/04/2013 20:04

Yeah, they are aware, just think cause there is so many people on the waiting list that's all they can do. I spoke to a lady from housing services on the phone, and she said there is alot of families the same as us... Xxxxx