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Holiday with my two best friends - AIBU?

(52 Posts)
grapelovingweirdo Fri 12-Apr-13 17:37:21

DP doesn't want me to go, got angry when he found out earlier.

I don't understand what his problem is and wish he would just trust me.

He is absolutely amazing most of the time too, he seems to think that there is an issue because my friends are single. They are lovely though and not caners, he has met them both and gets on well with them, both female.

Am I unreasonable to wonder if I'm in the right relationship? This is the man who lied about being divorced from the mother of his kids for a year and a half (found out on Facebook!)

He often accuses me of making myself up to be more attractive to men (I do it to look and feel good for myself)

Am I being totally selfish? I'm 28, he is 40 if that makes a difference.

ThingummyBob Fri 12-Apr-13 17:39:45

I think I've read a thread of yours before.

Imho it sounds like he is a controlling arse from what you have said sad

Calabria Fri 12-Apr-13 17:42:29

I had this with my (older) ex. It pushed me away from him in the end.

awkwardsis Fri 12-Apr-13 17:42:33

Oh goodness, get rid. He sounds a total arse. Ime, and this will be shot down no doubt, the women our age I know with partners your dps age are with very controlling, inadequate men who have sought out someone younger than them to control. I know of at least 3 sad

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm Fri 12-Apr-13 17:45:08

Liars often find it difficult to trust. They apply their own standards to others. People cheat if they WANT to. If you wanted to cheat, you could - anytime. The holiday is in itself irrelevant. His issues, his to address.
Have a great time.grin

ENormaSnob Fri 12-Apr-13 17:45:29

Get rid.

somuchforanindiansummer Fri 12-Apr-13 17:46:44

Get rid

Ragwort Fri 12-Apr-13 17:48:31

Get rid.

He sounds jealous and controlling and he's a liar (what are his good points?) hmm

CocacolaMum Fri 12-Apr-13 17:49:05

The age doesn't really make a difference, the problem is that he cannot be trusted and is tarring you with his brush! Get rid of him now before he screws you over again

maddening Fri 12-Apr-13 17:51:53

Get rid before you waste half your life on a tosser

lurkedtoolong Fri 12-Apr-13 17:52:38

Dump him now. He's a controlling liar who wants to stop you spending time with friends.

kinkyfuckery Fri 12-Apr-13 17:53:00

He sounds incredibly low in self-confidence and like he tries to control you out of fear of you finding someone better.
Can you live with that forever?

desperateforaholiday Fri 12-Apr-13 17:53:50

I would end it now. Things won't get better. My favourite age was when I was 28 and single smile

MammaTJ Fri 12-Apr-13 17:54:30

Insecure, jealous and possessive. Trying to make that your problems rather than his.

That red flag is so big it can be seen from space.

grapelovingweirdo Fri 12-Apr-13 17:55:19

Thanks for your replies, the difficult thing is that he has so many good points! He makes me laugh until my stomach hurts, is really sweet, we get on so well most of the time that we practically have our own language.

I just hate it when he gets like this. If I sound immature it's because I probably am with regards to things like this. Have only ever had one other relationship, it was for seven years.

So, I'm not being selfish to want to get away with my friends for a week? I've saved up enough so that I can go away with him too smile

seriouscakeeater Fri 12-Apr-13 17:56:24

The fact he is saying you get dressed up for other men is a HUGE red flag, one of my exs was like that. Its steadily got worse I ended not even going on holiday with my family because of him.

My DH would never dream of saying anything like that...infact he is going to Vegas for a stag and im going Portugal for the hen next year and its no problem.

Honestly take the advice of the rest of the posters, I wasted 4 years being with that knob face.

desperateforaholiday Fri 12-Apr-13 17:56:56

No your not being selfish, he is

Tee2072 Fri 12-Apr-13 17:57:36

He lied about being divorced? hmm

Get rid.

DeepRedBetty Fri 12-Apr-13 17:59:54

Some of the knobbiest men (and women) in the world can be absolutely lovely when they want to be. Otherwise intelligent sensible people wouldn't fall for them in the first place!

grapelovingweirdo Fri 12-Apr-13 18:02:29

He did Tee, we got together and he told me he was divorced from his ex (I get on well with her but don't see much of her). I found out a year and a half later.

Ill be the first to admit that I'm not perfect myself, I don't get jealous but I am quite untidy, forget things and generally make the place look untidy.

The thing is, I love him so much. It would kill me to leave him. I really really do love him, I just hate the jealousy, he's also very jealous of my best male friend.

Fairydogmother Fri 12-Apr-13 18:05:24

I was in a brief relationship with an older man and he was THE most jealous person ever.

Don't like the sound of your partner at all - especially the lying part

foosty Fri 12-Apr-13 18:09:05

you make the place look untidy?

Did he tell you that?

grapelovingweirdo Fri 12-Apr-13 18:13:29

No foosty but I can turn an immaculate room into a cluttered space within ten minutes of occupying it. Not deliberate at all an I do try to get better at it. I have aspergers but am very high functioning.

VelvetSpoon Fri 12-Apr-13 18:16:29

I don't like the sound of your DP at all.

One of my friends always ends up with blokes like this - they hate her going anywhere with me (even when I wasn't single) because I am a bad influence and I attract too much male attention hmm. TBH that's bullshit and it was far more about them wanting to control her and shitting themselves she might go off with someone else.

grapelovingweirdo Fri 12-Apr-13 18:49:41

Really don't know what to do

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