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To think my neighbour is a right pain!

(37 Posts)
Lj8893 Fri 12-Apr-13 12:49:23

Our flat is a house converted into two flats, upstairs and downstairs with a communal corridor and main front door.
We live downstairs and our neighbour upstairs is a 71 very eccentric (and sometimes quite difficult) lady.
She is very noisy, constantly banging around and moving furniture (that's what it sounds like anyway) and has several times accused us of things like hacking into her computer and tapping into her electricity supply!!! Anyway those things eventually culminated in a heated discussion where she proceeded to call me ignorant and uneducated but eventually she realised she was being unreasonable.

The latest thing is junk mail coming through the main front door, duplicated as its clear it is two flats.

We pick ours up as often as we can and dispose of it but don't pick the duplicated items up as clearly they are meant for her and so not our place to dispose of them.

They have been piling up (neatly and doesn't bother us) and this morning on my day off I heard her in the corridor shout "I shouldn't have to tell adults this but please remove the trash from the corridor" I then later looked in the corridor and she has moved the pile right in front of our private flat door!

AIBU that out of principal there is no way I want to dispose of that pile now, it won't make any extra work for me but I am shocked at her behaviour!

SantanaLopez Fri 12-Apr-13 12:51:53

She sounds like an old bat but is it not shared-front-door-etiquette to pick up other people's post and put it slightly out of the way?

Lj8893 Fri 12-Apr-13 12:55:00

Yes I always put her post in a neat pile for her by her door, and a separate neat pile of her "share" of the junk mail next to it for her to peruse and dispose of at her leisure.

yaimee Fri 12-Apr-13 12:57:04

She sounds like a bit of a pain.
Just wondering whether it might be problematic for her to bend down and get them.
if not I'd front up to her. Go knock on her door and tell her that you'd picked up one set of the post as you didn't want to throw away anything that might have been useful to her, hand her them and walk off.

GobShizz Fri 12-Apr-13 12:57:28

Just chuck the bloody junk mail!

Lj8893 Fri 12-Apr-13 13:21:14

I have chucked it now of course, am just wondering if I am being unreasonable to not want to have to do this everytime?! Myself and my partner make enough rubbish between us to not want to have to add extra rubbish on top, espessially when baby has arrived!

I am going to put a notice on the main door stating no junk mail for flat a(us) please so hopefully that will stop it.

But then am I expected to remove her junk mail still?

I too thought perhaps it may have been difficult for her to bend down but she clearly had no problem moving it to our door!

GobShizz Fri 12-Apr-13 13:23:56

If you're already picking "your share" up to throw it away, where's the real harm done? You're doing it anyway - and it'll save you hassle, frankly.

Lj8893 Fri 12-Apr-13 13:26:52

Perhaps I am just being a crazy hormonal pregnant lady!!! And I think it is the fact this is on top of all the other crazy behaviour she has treated is with.

What I mean is that once I have put a notice on an should hopefully stop recieving junk mail for our flat (we get at least 5 items a day and it is a pain!!) AIBU that I don't want to have to continue picking up the junk mail arriving for her?!

yonithewaytogohome Fri 12-Apr-13 13:50:27

Is it for her though? Does it have her name on it or is it just generic junk?

If its addressed to her by name then no you don't bin it. If it's just leaflets etc bin it. Surely it's not worth the aggravation not to?

ShiftyFades Fri 12-Apr-13 13:56:03

Maybe have a chat to her Ali g the lines of "I hate junk mail, alway ditch one set but leave a set for you, would you like me to just put it all in her the recycling bin"?

So you'll reinforce that you already deal with your share but will seem friendly in that you're offering to get rid of hers too?

ShiftyFades Fri 12-Apr-13 13:56:36

Ali g?!!!

FFS!

GobShizz Fri 12-Apr-13 14:02:46

If it's generic junk, menus etc - chuck it. If it's addressed, then do not chuck it under any circumstances, it's an offence.

schobe Fri 12-Apr-13 14:05:17

Agree with shifty. If you interview her in the style of Ali G I think you would have the issue resolved in no time.

Lj8893 Fri 12-Apr-13 14:06:24

Some of it is generic, some is stated to either flat a or b. she is flat b.

I think I will try talking to her, although since she thinks I am ignorant and uneducated (I'm not!) she never listens to anything I say and as I have said she is extremely difficult to have a reasonable conversation with.
Last week she told me she was shocked to discover I was pregnant as she was certain we wernt married and far to young to have a child (I'm 25 and no not married but we have been together many years!)

Like I said, it probably sounds very petty of me but this is just one thing on top of many others!

Lj8893 Fri 12-Apr-13 14:07:29

Haha maybe if I interview in the style of Ali g she will realise I am as mad as she is?!

MintyyAeroEgg Fri 12-Apr-13 14:12:20

Why should op be in charge of filtering out what junk mail her upstairs neighbour does and does not want!?

Ludicrous posts from GobShizz.

kinkyfuckery Fri 12-Apr-13 14:13:09

Bin anything that isn't addressed to her, and continue to pile the rest up with her mail. She obviously thinks you're just leaving all the junk mail to her, if you've not told her you dispose of half of it.

I'd be tempted to start looking into moving though, she sounds like she is going to be a nightmare once your baby arrives

gail734 Fri 12-Apr-13 14:17:08

Yeah, ask her if she dislikes you "coz I is black?" That'll confuse her. Neighbours. I've told my husband that our next home will absolutely not be a flat or I'm off. I automatically chuck all junk mail (ground floor, three flats) because other tenants just leave it. My upstairs neighbour (nice, mature spinster) has repeatedly been heard hoovering between 10pm and midnight. WTAF?

gail734 Fri 12-Apr-13 14:17:41

Yeah, ask her if she dislikes you "coz I is black?" That'll confuse her. Neighbours. I've told my husband that our next home will absolutely not be a flat or I'm off. I automatically chuck all junk mail (ground floor, three flats) because other tenants just leave it. My upstairs neighbour (nice, mature spinster) has repeatedly been heard hoovering between 10pm and midnight. WTAF?

Lj8893 Fri 12-Apr-13 14:17:42

We are hoping to move as soon as our tenancy is up, which is a shame because other than her out flat and location is wonderful!
I have had previous bad neighbours in the past, some of which have been nasty and abusive but at least I knew how to deal with them and where I stood with them! She is much more difficult!

Lj8893 Fri 12-Apr-13 14:20:35

I abruptly woke up the other night (about midnight) because of such a loud bang from her upstairs a picture in my lounge fell of the wall! Considering I was at home alone at the time, my partner was working late, I crapped myself!!

gail734 Fri 12-Apr-13 14:21:04

Gob/Mintyy Is it really an offence to chuck away mail? My husband insists that it is. When we first moved in, I spent months doing "return to sender" with piles of mail for half a dozen previous tenants. I was getting one guy's credit card statement and payslip!

Icanhasnickname Fri 12-Apr-13 14:22:51

Id start signing her up for every catalogue known to humanity. All with her name on. And then make sure the babys room was under hers!

overmydeadbody Fri 12-Apr-13 14:22:53

Go and speak to her, tell her you are sick of the junk mail and will be putting up a notice saying No Junk Mail, and does she object or does she feel the same way?

Also suggest a waste paper basket in the communcal hallway that either of oyu can dump all junk mail in and empty into your recyclings on bin day? That might help...

overmydeadbody Fri 12-Apr-13 14:24:19

Yes I think it is an offence to do anything with mail that is not addressed to you apart from returning to sender

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