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To ask if you'd stop contact with a friend for this?

(56 Posts)
PurplePlasticFantastic Fri 12-Apr-13 10:17:28

I fell out with someone a while ago, within a group of friends. She was very dominating and very nasty behind others' backs and I called her up on something that she said. She didn't like it.

Because she was very much the leader of the group, several others stopped talking to me too. I was de-friended from Facebook and they refused to have anything to do with me. I decided to let it go, as clearly they weren't very good friends if they were happy to just cut me off without hearing anything about my side of the story.

About a week ago, one of the friends that had cut me off contacted me and said that basically this woman I fell out with had been telling people things about me and that I was meant to have said and done, and they were lies. This friend found out they were lies as the nasty woman told her she'd been lying about me, and she witnessed the nasty woman telling someone I'd said something when it was actually her that had said it. The friend wants to be friends again and for me to forgive her for believing this other woman for so long. I want to tell her to take a hike because if she was my friend she would have a) contacted me and b) wouldn't have needed to 'find out' the truth in order to stop thinking the worst of me.

Sorry if this is jumbled. I have had to be vague as I don't want to be identified!

DoctorAnge Fri 12-Apr-13 14:51:59

I would also let this go. Accept the apology by all means but you will be sucked into all the drama again if you befriend her.
You moved on don't look back.

everlong Fri 12-Apr-13 14:52:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Summerblaze Fri 12-Apr-13 14:56:34

It all sounds a bit coronation street to me grin.

LineRunner Fri 12-Apr-13 15:10:59

Fizz caved in immediately. smile

Leavenheath Fri 12-Apr-13 15:46:36

It would depend for me on how long I'd known the friend and whether I thought the friendship had potential.

Say for example you all met around the same time and all the friendships were under 2 years duration? All that means is that you have better instincts about people than the rest of them. And that the cowbag in the story is a very convincing and charismatic liar. In those circumstances I'd be prepared to forgive if I thought the friend had learnt her lesson and was worth it. It can take a long time before you can truly say you know a person well enough to know what's true and untrue.

If you've known eachother for years and years though and you had enough years of being able to prove to others that you're a good friend and these people still believed the words of a liar over that, then no - I wouldn't forgive.

redexpat Fri 12-Apr-13 15:55:07

I think it shows guts to say I was wrong about you and I'm sorry. So I'd accept and proceed cautiously.

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