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AIBU to hesitate to go away with my mum?

(5 Posts)
tirednurse Fri 12-Apr-13 09:34:50

My mother has recently been diagnosed with dementia and has a very poor short term memory. She wants the two of us to have a lovely expensive holiday together which is in theory a really nice idea. But becasue she cant remember or comprehend anything she's told she asks the same questions repeatedly this is exhausting and also eventually when I've answered the same thing 50 times (I exaggerate not) sometimes I snap. If at any stage I gently or not point out that I've already asked this she's becomes aggressive.
I just dot know what to do obviously if this holiday is successful it will be a lovely memory but if not I will at the very least need another holiday or at the worst might murder her!
Just to add nurses don't make good carers of their own family.

Svrider Fri 12-Apr-13 09:36:44

YANBU
Sounds like hard work tbh
I'm sorry
Perhaps an afternoon tea instead?

LovedayMerryweather Fri 12-Apr-13 09:58:48

With dementia changes in routine and setting can make sufferers worse for a while which is really stressful for the carer. It sounds like she is early on with it, so you might get away with it if you really wanted to, but it will certainly be hard work for you. It's generally more successful to have short trips out with dementia - especially morning ones as many people with dementia are worse in the late afternoon/evening.

tirednurse Fri 12-Apr-13 10:06:55

"It's generally more successful to have short trips out with dementia - especially morning ones as many people with dementia are worse in the late afternoon/evening."
Thats interesting she certainly seems more muddled as the day goes on (I work in a very specialised area so don't know much about it).
She's really set her heart on the idea although by the end of a day she she still want to go but cant join all the different aspects together and understand what she wants.

YANBU - My lovely MIL had dementia and no way could I have taken her away for a holiday, even in the early stages.

A nice afternoon out somewhere sounds better.

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