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AIBU to freak out? please help, i dont know how to handle..

(68 Posts)
CocacolaMum Thu 11-Apr-13 22:41:51

My daughter is 7 and over at her 7yr old cousins house for a sleepover

My sis in law just sent me the following message...

I think you need to have a word with Jenny
We left Jenny and Andy in kitchen and they both went toilet together and I heard Jenny say to Andy do you want to see my (you know what ) then I heard her say I don't have a willy can I touch yours , then whilst I was at shops Simon had them in the bath and he nipped downstairs but could hear them on monitor and heard her say shall we kiss with tongue, so Simon went up and saw them kissing with tongue and Jenny said Andy's willy went hard .... I come back and I'm like omfg then I heard them again on the monitor making kissing noises so I went up there and told them they need to top and tale now and go to sleep ! I dunno what to do x

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY OR DO. Someone please please help.

plinkyplinkyplink Thu 11-Apr-13 22:44:19

Go and get your daughter! 7 year olds going to the toilet and bathing together? Go and get her!

echt Thu 11-Apr-13 22:44:52

Are they in the same bedroom? If so, SIL needs to be firm yet non-judgy and get somewhere else for your DD to sleep tonight.

MeDented Thu 11-Apr-13 22:44:52

don't freak out and make DD feel she has done something terrible. It's just natural curiosity, you just need to gently explain to her that it isn't appropriate to look and feel boys willies until she's much older and probably best not to go round kissing boys until then either xx

RevoltingPeasant Thu 11-Apr-13 22:45:34

hmm Right. Assuming this isn't a wind up, you talk to 'Jenny' in the morning and explain that although experimenting is natural, her body is something very private and that's not something we do with other people.

plinkyplinkyplink Thu 11-Apr-13 22:47:06

Your DD is asking to touch the boys penis and asking him to kiss with tongues and the boy's mother is allowing them to share a bed? I don't believe this.

7 year olds know full when that that behaviour is out of bounds.

CocacolaMum Thu 11-Apr-13 22:47:38

No it really isn't a wind up. SIL has just this minute messaged. They are in the same room yes - I don't want to make DD feel bad of course I don't. She is only 7 though, where the hell would she get this kind of talk from?!?!

LindyHemming Thu 11-Apr-13 22:48:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

plinkyplinkyplink Thu 11-Apr-13 22:49:19

Then your SIL needs to engage her brain and put them in different rooms. Sorry, I know I'm coming across as alarmist, but this isn't acceptable behaviour - the parents need to supervise them responsibly.

IneedAsockamnesty Thu 11-Apr-13 22:49:24

Chill out.

Kids do weird shit like that its called experimenting. Have a minor none big deal chat with dd about personal boundaries private body parts and the differences between girls and boys chuck in some good touch bad touch stuff for good measure but keep it light hearted.

And make sure you have answers to any questions she may have and don't be embarrassed

RevoltingPeasant Thu 11-Apr-13 22:49:51

Well, message SIL back and say 'please separate them for tonight'. Surprised she hasn't thought to do that herself.

As for the talk - tv, older siblings?

I hope those aren't the children's real names........

Sneezingwakestheyoni Thu 11-Apr-13 22:50:09

I might be overreacting but I would go and get her. I wouldn't want them sleeping in the same bed if they've been exploring like that when alone.

plinkyplinkyplink Thu 11-Apr-13 22:50:14

She'd get that sort of talk from school, friends, friends' siblings anywhere - the words are not the problem here.

RevoltingPeasant Thu 11-Apr-13 22:51:19

Also, me and the DSisses looked at the willies of a male friend when we were about 7. Of course we knew it was naughty - that was why it was hilarious. He was 'showing us how boys wee'.

I wouldn't freak out about that but I would be worried about SIL's judgement.

CocacolaMum Thu 11-Apr-13 22:51:30

I am trying not to freak, I really am. I know that kids experiment - it just knocked me a bit and I feel a bit embarrassed as well that she would come out with those sorts of things!!

plinkyplinkyplink Thu 11-Apr-13 22:51:51

Actually, yes, if it was my DD I'd be on my way to collect her now. I don't understand why they're allowed to be in the same bedroom after they've been kissing in the bath and the boy had an erection. This is not a good situation. Get your girl, OP!

gordyslovesheep Thu 11-Apr-13 22:52:45

I agree with Socky and Revolting - kids do this - they talk in the playground, they watch TV, they hear adults talking and they like to play around with each other - bring her home if it makes you feel more comfortable but their isn't anything new in kids fiddling with their bits, comparing bits or playing doctor

WipsGlitter Thu 11-Apr-13 22:52:46

I agree with sockpixie. Don't make a big deal. Where did she hear it? Who knows kids are sponges and see things all the time. The willy going hard thing was an observation.

5madthings Thu 11-Apr-13 22:53:04

There is nothing wrong with 7 yr olds going to the toilet together or having a bath together or even sharing a bed and top and tailing etc.

But obviously these two children ate behaving inappropriately.

They need to be separated and spoken to about personal boundaries and tbh if this was my dd I would be wondering if she had been exposed to innapropriate films/magazines etc.

Maybe its from playground talk but it raises warning flags for me.

plinkyplinkyplink Thu 11-Apr-13 22:53:20

Why are you MNing, not taking sensible, immediate action?

lydiamama Thu 11-Apr-13 22:53:40

I would not allow them to sleep in the same bedroom let alone bed. It is just natural curiosity and innocent, but it has been quite a lot of experimenting for one day. I am dreading to be in your position one day, but yes you need to talk to her about differences between boys and girls, keeping herself private (and safe), not touching others, and mainly that is much better fun to play hide and seek than kissing boys. Are you going to pick her up?

IneedAsockamnesty Thu 11-Apr-13 22:54:29

Why would you be embarrassed about kids being curious about stuff like that?

They hear about it from older kids or tv all sorts of places.

Flojobunny Thu 11-Apr-13 22:54:36

Top and tail as in the same bed?
They are 7! Going to the toilet together, sharing a bath, sharing a bed hmm can't be for real surely.

plinkyplinkyplink Thu 11-Apr-13 22:56:32

Yes, the embarrassment surely isn't the kids exploring, it's the fact that your SIL allows them to go to the loo together, have baths together and share a bed... and you're on MN rather than taking control.

Yep, I'm sure this isn't real.

Flojobunny Thu 11-Apr-13 22:56:39

Why haven't you picked her up yet? And found out where she's got this from? My 7 yo wouldn't know the first thing about this stuff but then again I'm single so he never witnesses kissing, with or without tongues!

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