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To move in with bf

(23 Posts)
HongkongDreamer Thu 11-Apr-13 18:22:03

Is it a daft idea to move in with my bf of 7 months? Im 19, he's 21. Both at uni but are able to afford to do it and practically live together just now anyway.
Need advice.

rubyslippers Thu 11-Apr-13 18:23:14

I don't know

What's the rush? How will it work financially?

Whose house is it?

MrsLHofstadter Thu 11-Apr-13 18:23:41

I'd say go for it, rent some where for 6 months and see how you get on.

Timetoask Thu 11-Apr-13 18:24:37

What is the rush!!!!!

CloudsAndTrees Thu 11-Apr-13 18:30:33

I was living with my boyfriend at 19, and we ended up together for 7 years. I don't see the problem. Just don't make any long term financial commitments. As you've only been with him for 7 months, I'd say you need to stick to six month rental agreements for now, and have a proper conversation about how your finances will work.

Preposteroushypothesis Thu 11-Apr-13 18:35:14

Agree with the 6 month rentals and also don't get a joint bank account. I know it's so much easier when you're living together to pay rent an bills etc but a joint bank account is the only thing that links you financially with another person, so if one of you get a bad credit rating (late credit card payments will give you a bad hit not just racking up massive debt) then the other persons credit will also be affected. This is something you might not think a lot about now but it is really important.

Otherwise just give it a try, you can always move if it doesn't work out but definitely keep your finances separate and both pay your fair share so it doesn't cause any resentment!

LetMeAtTheWine Thu 11-Apr-13 18:41:51

I agree, if you are going to do it then keep things separate financially, have short term rental agreements. Also make sure you have worked out how you will split bills etc in advance and what will happen if one of you can't afford their half one month. Try to make sure you won't be putting yourself in a vulnerable position and be responsible for bills that you can't afford to pay.

Good luck!

livinginwonderland Thu 11-Apr-13 18:43:53

Go for it, but make sure you only go for a six month rental and discuss your finances. You need to make sure you're not stuck with lot of bills, or a huge amount of rent if you guys break up.

EmmelineGoulden Thu 11-Apr-13 18:46:48

There's nothing wrong with it, and it makes for a fun time while it's working. It does mean you're less likely to make the most of all the social opportunities that uni lays at your feet. And from experience I would say it is utterly pants to be stuck in a house with a recent ex while you're trying to do your exams - so make sure you have an immediate way out should it all go south.

Mawgatron Thu 11-Apr-13 19:17:34

I moved in with my bf after 6months. We have been together now for 7 years, are married and expecting our first baby. It does work sometimes!

Wannabestepfordwife Thu 11-Apr-13 19:25:26

If it feels right then do it but get a 6 month only contract whilst you get tip know each other.

Dp and I moved in after 7 months had a baby a week before our first anniversary and still going strong.

noisytoys Thu 11-Apr-13 19:29:44

DH and I moved in together 4 weeks after we met, age 16. 10 years later we are married, 2 DCs, mortgage the lot and I couldn't be happier smile

NewStartinSpring Thu 11-Apr-13 19:42:43

Please don't listen to the smug posts.

If you want to do it and feel comfortable then do it yes. You have been given good advice re 6 month contract and separate finances.

I say please don't listen to the smug posts because it is going to test your relationship and it probably will make or break you as a couple.

Don't just think well it worked for one couple so it's going to work for me too. Go into this with your eyes wide open.

squeakytoy Thu 11-Apr-13 19:45:49

rent dont buy, dont get anything on credit, and make sure you split everything equally..

aldiwhore Thu 11-Apr-13 19:46:47

If you want to do it, do it. Protect yourself and make sure you aren't at risk of losing everything if it goes pear shaped. As your relationship is relatively 'new' keep things as simple as possible, don't start running up joint credit yet, but if you do, make sure you keep every scrap of paper.

Is it wise? Depends on your idea of wisdom. Is it right? It it feels right, then it's right, right now.

I would only warn against getting old too young, but that's nothing really to do with living with a man, more an attitude. You can strike a balance between being sensible and remaining young!

Good luck smile

worsestershiresauce Thu 11-Apr-13 19:51:17

Why not, but protect your finances and don't whatever you do start playing the housewife and do all the cooking, cleaning and washing, and only iron your own clothes. Wish I'd had the foresight to ensure DH did 50% from the outset.

Pozzled Thu 11-Apr-13 19:52:07

I did it, around the same age. We'd been together 6 months. We've now been together 13 years, married for 7.

But yes, I agree with previous posters about going into it with your eyes open. Do have conversations about how you will deal with finances, chores, groceries etc, don't just make assumptions. And make sure that you won't be trapped into a long rental contract if things don't work out.

AssamAndDarjeeling Thu 11-Apr-13 19:54:20

Are you at the same uni?

If you are, go for it- if not, it might be wise to keep connections to respective unis for now and leave it till afterwards to make the commitment.

Do you have DC?

assumpta Thu 11-Apr-13 20:04:08

Squeakytoy says it all really. I moved with my boyfriend age 23 after going out with each other for 4 months, got engaged 2 months after that, married 21 months later and are now married for 17 years, and hopefully will continue as we are for a very long time. You are young, but it doesn't automatically mean it won't work out. We weren't under pressure from anyone and just went with it. Have fun!

quoteunquote Thu 11-Apr-13 21:27:29

You are the same age as we were OP when we got together,

both at uni, we have been together over 20 years,

We've had amazing time, brilliant fun lots of laughs, been through hell(lost children), had the most wonderful children,

Wouldn't change a thing.

b4bunnies Thu 11-Apr-13 21:45:21

if you need to ask, you aren't ready to do it. don't.

issypiggle Thu 11-Apr-13 21:58:27

no, wait. i made that mistake. i agree with b4, if you are asking then it's not a good decision.

YoniBottsBumgina Fri 12-Apr-13 08:46:23

Have you both lived alone or with friends before? I think this is really important. If you move in together straight from parents' houses then it makes for a tricky relationship dynamic. Good to know you can both be independent first. But other than that, why not? smile

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