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To ask PIL not to come round after 6?

(20 Posts)
Fraggle3112 Wed 10-Apr-13 21:39:45

DS is 4 months old we've been lucky in that he's fell in to a really good bedtime routine already and goes to bed after his bath at 6:30. DH only gets home at about 5:30 so only gets an hour a day during the week to spend with DS plus DS starts to get reall whiny around this time because he's getting tired. Because of this I have asked family not to call Round after about 5:30 ish. PIL don't work and could come whenever but continue to come just before bed time. It's really starting to annoy me but DH thinks I am being unfair. AIBU or should I stick to my guns and ask them not to come again at that time?

LifeofPo Wed 10-Apr-13 21:42:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chocolatetester1 Wed 10-Apr-13 21:44:29

Yanbu. Maybe invite them over for morning coffee on a fairly regular basis so they get their fill and tell them up front that the hour before bedtime is daddy's time.

purrpurr Wed 10-Apr-13 21:45:45

Are they coming for their grandson or their son - is it both or one or the other?

Ledkr Wed 10-Apr-13 21:47:33

Well if dh is going to stick up for you then did him.
Change the bedtime routine do you and ds aren't available at that time.
Dd gets out if the bath and we dress and have quiet time in her room. Nobody can come in when I'm doing it or she won't settle.
I'd not want anyone visiting at that time tbh it's wind down time.

MintyyAeroEgg Wed 10-Apr-13 21:48:01


You are not being unreasonable to ask them not to visit at ANY time without checking with you first.

Minibird Wed 10-Apr-13 21:48:27

YANBU. You're the boss and they are being rude coming round when they are not wanted. Chocolate has a nice idea, and make sure you invite them some weekends because they probably want to see their boy with his boy.

Fraggle3112 Wed 10-Apr-13 21:48:30

We usually pop round on a weekend too so they see DH at least once a week but they like to see the baby most days!

Fraggle3112 Wed 10-Apr-13 21:49:57

Sorry x post!

purrpurr Wed 10-Apr-13 21:50:09

They need to see the baby most days? Seriously? shock Move.

Minibird Wed 10-Apr-13 21:51:07

Most days! You are a saint.

SamuelAndOscarsMummy Wed 10-Apr-13 21:54:28

I don't think you are being unreasonable! it's really important that babies get a sense of routine (even if they fight it themselves lol) as it makes them feel settled and secure and you have done so well to get him to that stage so early on, it's not really fair of your PIL to ruin it! I don't understand why they wouldn't want to come during the day and spend time with your DS when he is awake if they don't have work or other commitments?

Fraggle3112 Wed 10-Apr-13 21:58:44

Samuel that is what I think too! He's so much happier and enjoyable during the day its nicer for them to see him then! they are really good with us and i appreciate they want to enjoy their first grandchild but we need family time too! Thanks for reassuring me ladies I was worried I was been a cow!

Goldmandra Wed 10-Apr-13 22:02:30

You're not being a cow. You're being a responsible mum.

Have you tried just getting on with the bedtime routine regardless and leaving them at a loose end?

Fraggle3112 Wed 10-Apr-13 22:07:13

Yep tried that goldmandra. They followed me up to the bathroom to watch me do the bath! confused

seriouscakeeater Wed 10-Apr-13 22:26:54

Ooh that better not happen when my dd arrives! Can see MIL doing that. Id tell her to get back down!

If they rock up again at that time I would ask them to be quiet and disappear up stairs x

Iaintdunnuffink Wed 10-Apr-13 22:31:55

Everyday? Yanbu.

twitchycurtains Wed 10-Apr-13 22:33:29

YANBU, My PILs live 5 minutes away are at home all day yet the only time they will visit is around bedtine/dinner time-basically when it's convenient for them. Good for you for putting your foot down.

everlong Wed 10-Apr-13 22:36:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chottie Thu 11-Apr-13 06:05:29

You sound a lovely caring DiL. I do think that PiL are being unreasonable and a bit insensitive. You need time to be together as a family. I would be careful about arranging a regular time / day for your PiL to come round as this could well turn into 'their' slot to the end of time.......

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