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To think that if you want to go on Masterchef you must cook the following dishes:

(241 Posts)
muminthecity Wed 10-Apr-13 21:11:43

Starter:- Pan fried scallops with some sort of slop puree, preferably cauliflower. For extra points add a lump of black pudding.

Main:- Pan fried duck with some sort of fruit, orange, plum or redcurrants always go down well. Serve with either fondant/crushed potatoes and a red wine jus.

Pudding:- Chocolate fondant. Doesn't matter what you serve with it, if it works you will be hailed a genius regardless, if it doesn't, you will be sent home anyway.

If you want to be the wacky, 'inventive' one, add a bit of fruit to the scallops (apple maybe?), change the fruit you serve with the duck to a less conventional one (nectarine, perhaps?) and add some chilli to your chocolate fondant.

I love Masterchef but I'm so bloody sick of seeing the same dishes rehashed all the time!

LondonMother Fri 12-Apr-13 13:01:37

Such a good thread. My best moment this year was the one that looked like a sixth former the other night who wasn't quite sure if John's dish contained pork or beef - settled on beef for his list - then, when presented with two hunks of meat to choose from for his own effort, he changed his mind and decided it was pork, so cooked the hunk he thought was pork.

Two problems:
1. The original dish was made with beef.
2. The hunk of meat he thought was pork was actually lamb.

I was crying with laughter. Pork and lamb aren't even the same colour and how could you get confused over the taste? Although I suppose the great horsemeat scandal shows if you use enough seasoning you can pass just about any meat off as anything else.

Moominsarehippos Fri 12-Apr-13 13:23:24

I'm loving the taste test one. It is probably much harder than it looks but still, some of the mistakes are quite amusing.

threestepsforward Fri 12-Apr-13 13:44:33

LOVE this thread!

Mrs Morton: "But using ready mixed curry powder, well [hoiks] she might as well have shat on the plate. Dirty bastard"

made me lol, and I don't lol much grin

Loved the u-tube clips too...

I only started watching last year. I love the curly-haired taster man (previous winner) smile

MousyMouse Fri 12-Apr-13 13:46:06

agree, the taste test was a good (and entertaining) idea.
but I think jontyrude is using crap recipes with far too many ingredients.
--sort of the point though.

LaVolcan Fri 12-Apr-13 14:15:21

The taste test seems quite tough to me. I think I would do the invention test, then use the cook your own food one to eliminate the first two. I would save the taste test for the next elimination.

MrsMorton Fri 12-Apr-13 14:37:54

thermalsinapril pahahaa. I LOVE your fish & chips.

As an aside, having grown up in Wales, I really struggle to call chips anything other than sclods.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Fri 12-Apr-13 15:53:22


"and if you can't control a cucumber you should hang your head"

Zzzzmarchhare Fri 12-Apr-13 20:40:42

Someone on now is serving 'shavings'. And Greg was very excited ooooohhhhh. Made me laugh

Allthingspretty Fri 12-Apr-13 20:46:51

Another masterchef sraple seema to be beeteoot..
<late to thread>

MisForMumNotMaid Fri 12-Apr-13 20:49:14

What does wilted mean? Passed its best/ old or steamed or boiled?

Zzzzmarchhare Fri 12-Apr-13 20:51:16

Wilted-not quite cooked enough!

And I don't want my fish to be sexy, thanks

Allthingspretty Fri 12-Apr-13 20:54:48

I am not sure that ex winners are the correct people to be judging imo

meddie Fri 12-Apr-13 20:56:11

Pomme puree so mashed potato then

MoreBeta Fri 12-Apr-13 21:21:10

A while ago I went on a very basic intro to professional chef course for 6 weeks of being burned, shouted at, a lot sweat, several faintings, some blood and having to do a sort of Masterchef presentation every day under pressure.

Nothing like cooking at home and we learned to do some of things you see of Masterchef but I am always somewhat suspicious the contestants must have had some pretty advanced training. You dont learn that stuff on your own at home.

Snorting at 'naive and mature' potatoes. grin

Horrible Histories do a brilliant take on MC, the actor who plays Gregg Wallace is fantastic.

As for 'deconstructed' cheesecake etc, I want my puddings BIG, not in crumbs and teeny tiny smears around my plate.

The foam always puts me in mind of the frothy sputum my patients with heart failure produce, not nice.

MousyMouse Fri 12-Apr-13 23:39:32

urgh alex that put me off my chocolate tonight.

Iaintdunnuffink Fri 12-Apr-13 23:45:17

Foam is Cuckoo spit.

elvislives2012 Sat 13-Apr-13 04:46:41

We play the masterchef drinking game. Whenever John or Gregg say 'sauce' we have a glug drink a bottle of vodka. We get fairly pissed grin

meddie Sat 13-Apr-13 11:26:04

Has to be the ultimate MC deconstucted pud

muminthecity Fri 19-Apr-13 20:38:48

Anyone watching tonight? It seems partridge is the new duck - 2 of them are doing it 'three ways.' Can't wait to see the shit streaks that will accompany them!

muminthecity Fri 19-Apr-13 20:41:27

Ooh and tonight one of our dishes is being served with 'citurs air.' Sounds delicious hmm

Magrathea Fri 19-Apr-13 20:50:04

Wtff is a citrus air??

Greg lifted a goldfish Noel and sniffed it!

Magrathea Fri 19-Apr-13 20:50:49

greg ffs

Magrathea Fri 19-Apr-13 20:53:31

*bowl wine arf

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