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Would I be unreasonable to say something to the nursery?

(10 Posts)
kungfupannda Wed 10-Apr-13 18:28:51

I had a bit of a fright at nursery pick-up today - not a near miss exactly, but one of those situations where you get a bit of a shiver when you think about what might have happened.

There was another child (about 18 months) being picked up by his dad at the same time as I was picking up DS2 - he's usually collected by his mum and I've never seen the dad before.

The nursery has a small car-park - just a row of 4 spaces with a biggish space in front for you to pull out into, so it's fairly safe as if small children get loose and bolt they tend to leg it across in front of the cars and you can see them easily. I've only seen this happen once, but I'm always uber-cautious because the time it did happen, someone was just pulling out of the space and had to stop sharpish.

The dad's phone rang as he was coming out of the nursery and he was talking the whole time I was loading DS2 in the car. I went round the other side (going round the back to get there), got into the car and then straight out again as I'd just realised that DS1 had undone his straps. I did them back up again and got back in to the front. I was about to start the engine but I glanced around and couldn't see the other child so I hesitated - the dad was standing by the open car door, still on the phone, but the child clearly wasn't in the seat. At this point the dad started wandering fairly casually towards the front of my car, still on the phone. The child's head suddenly appeared over the front of the car - he'd been crouching or sitting right up against the bumper.

If that had been me I would have been running over, yelling and waving my arms, and I would have been in a right state. I'd have been furious with myself, beside myself about what might have happened, and apologising like mad. The dad strolled over, still on the phone, gave me a big, beaming grin and pointed down at the child in a "what a little rascal" kind of way and then wandered off with the child again.

It was only after I left the car-park, feeling a bit shaky, that it occurred to me that I really should have stopped, got out and told him how close I had been to pulling out and straight over his child. I'm now feeling a bit stupid for not pulling him up on it - he clearly didn't think it was much of an issue.

I'm not sure if I'm over-reacting - I mean I never got the engine started. My seat-belt was on and I was about to start up, but he would surely have come running if the engine had started. I'm just having flashes of me being in a bit of a hurry, doing a cursory glance around and then turning the engine on and pulling out in a couple of seconds, straight over the child.

I'm trying to decide whether to say something to the nursery - so they can decide whether to ask him to keep hold of the child in the car-park. We can all do daft things - I know I can - but most people give some sign of realising they've done something potentially dangerous and reacting to it.

Ragwort Wed 10-Apr-13 18:31:48

I am not sure what the nursery could really do - we've all seen those signs 'Look after you child/your child is your responsibility' blah blah blah but you can't actually make someone be more responsible. Even if you had said something to the other Dad he would have probably shrugged and told you not to interfere.

Nursery car parks are always a danger zone !

kinkyfuckery Wed 10-Apr-13 18:34:34

This is the sort of thing that terrifies me when my ex has the DC. He is never paying attention and this sort of thing could so easily happen.

DireRear Wed 10-Apr-13 18:35:29

Oooh not sure what you can do but that would've made my heart go bumpety-bump.

Maybe mention casually to the manager in a few days, like 'Gosh, I had a fright on Weds!' - and she may take it on board. But don't see what she can do other than put up a notice or sth.

NoTeaForMe Wed 10-Apr-13 18:36:03

Other than a general reminder to all parents about being careful in the car park I'm not sure what the nursery could do I'm afraid.

I do think you need to look at the fact that your DS1 can undo his straps by himself, that's not safe at all.

BoundandRebound Wed 10-Apr-13 18:37:27

Tell his mum

CaptainSweatPants Wed 10-Apr-13 18:45:57

There is nothing you can do tbh
Just carry on being extra vigilant in the car park
Sorry you had such a fright

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 10-Apr-13 18:48:20

Say something. Our school and preschool regularly send out texts and notes to remind people to drive safely.

There was a near miss last term and we all knew what had happened because the HT made sure we did.

kungfupannda Wed 10-Apr-13 18:51:56

I think I'll mention something - there is an email newsletter that has had "general warnings" about things that have quite clearly been triggered by a specific incident. I hadn't thought about the newsletter.

farewellfarewell Wed 10-Apr-13 18:52:53

I would mention it to the dad/mother next time you see them, no question about it. Just say that you had a near miss with their child and explain. I would definitely want to know if I was the child's mother and it wouldn't do any harm to mention it to the dad as he clearly didn't realise the danger. I'm not sure re nursery but I'm sure others will advise. I can understand why you were upset. I would feel the same. They are so tiny at that age and can be difficult to spot.

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