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To be a bit uncomfortable with friend's behaviour...

(105 Posts)
wifey6 Tue 09-Apr-13 23:16:34

towards her children?
My friend & I have been friends since school..both have young children who play together weekly. From very early on I noticed she favoured her youngest DS. (They are 4 yo & 2 yo) The way she would give more attention, in ways of cuddles, time & even how she spoke to him.
It was the opposite with her eldest DS, who she would be (still is) very dismissive of.
She makes comments in front of her eldest that the youngest is 'more handsome', 'sweet', 'loving' etc.
the eldest does act up for attention but more worryingly has started agreeing with his mum that the youngest is all the things she says & that he isn't.
I don't say anything to her, but make every effort to reassure the eldest that he is 'handsome', 'loving' & 'caring' & really include him when playing with my own DCs.
Should I say anything to her about the favourtism & if I do, how do I handle it without causing offense?
Sorry for long post

cjel Thu 11-Apr-13 11:09:51

Thinking of you today, hope you are okx

ppeatfruit Thu 11-Apr-13 09:49:26

wifey Do let us know how it all goes.

cjel Wed 10-Apr-13 22:48:57

Don't know how my previous post got this far down . I posted before you had spoken to her. You did fantastic job and hopefully , like you say it will be the start of the family getting the help they need.x

olivertheoctopus Wed 10-Apr-13 22:42:48

Well done OP. so pleased you were able to say something and get through. That takes real guts.

flaminhoopsaloolah Wed 10-Apr-13 22:36:23

Nothing useful to add OP...just wanted to say you are a bloody amazing friend/person.

DoctorAnge Wed 10-Apr-13 22:13:43

Poor little boy.
Thank God he has you. It seems like you are the only one fighting his corner. How lovely and sensitive you are.

cjel Wed 10-Apr-13 20:53:02

You must contact some professional for help. I don't know if NSPCC or childline help but this family really need support more than you can give.

lisbethsopposite Wed 10-Apr-13 20:49:22

well done wifey . I am relieved she was open. 2 fab DS here too. Good luck with your #2.

redwellybluewelly Wed 10-Apr-13 20:23:26

Well done wifey

I wanted to say that my mother has sibce the day my younger sibling was born favoured her. I've now gone no contact with either of them and I'm finally figuring out just how damaging their treatment of me was. I'm 35. If more family and friends who now say they saw it all along had stepped in then I would still be in touch.

Blu Wed 10-Apr-13 20:10:57

Really well done, OP.
She does need help not condemnation, and she has a great friend in you.

Hissy Wed 10-Apr-13 19:49:45

Vipers, the lot of us eh? <sniff>

Well done OP, I gasped when I saw her message, I really hope she does go, you can't let her cancel!

wifey6 Wed 10-Apr-13 19:41:19

Thanks all for your lovely messages.
Been out with my DS today so only just logged back in.
Will absolutely keep you all posted on her progress.
Thank you all again for your encouragement, advice & help to approach this in the way it needed.

youmaycallmeSSP Wed 10-Apr-13 19:38:39

OP you sound like a lovely friend.

ChippingInIsEggceptional Wed 10-Apr-13 19:25:03

You did really, really well flowers

I hope that things get sorted out for her so that her DS1 doesn't have any more of this inflicted on him. I hope she lets you, the Dr, the class & others help. I'd love an update from time to time smile

candyandyoga Wed 10-Apr-13 19:12:59

I feel so sorry for the little boy sad

EldritchCleavage Wed 10-Apr-13 16:22:49

Bloody hell, you are brave and a very good friend. Well done.

everlong Wed 10-Apr-13 16:20:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

everlong Wed 10-Apr-13 16:18:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MammaTJ Wed 10-Apr-13 16:06:44

Well done to you. You handled a difficult situation very well.


vivizone Wed 10-Apr-13 15:57:16

Hi op. Sorry for earlier msg - it was wrong of me to say that to you. You have handled the situation really well, something I would have struggled with.

Lovelygoldboots Wed 10-Apr-13 15:53:16

Good news wifey, you've handled that really well.

Apileofballyhoo Wed 10-Apr-13 15:31:36

Well done wifey. The world needs more people like you.

fromparistoberlin Wed 10-Apr-13 11:48:18

a lump in my thoat, and NO hormones to blame either

keep us posted Op x

ppeatfruit Wed 10-Apr-13 11:35:30

Puggy YYY I agree, I can't blame my hormones though!

PuggyMum Wed 10-Apr-13 11:30:56

Hello wifey6. I have no words of wisdom to add except to say reading this thread had also made me cry (blaming hormones too as 14 weeks with dc1!).

Your friend is lucky to have you.


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