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to expect DS to play sensibly when his friends come over?

(12 Posts)
whethergirl Tue 09-Apr-13 22:49:22

DS had a friend over for 1 hour today and it just did my head in. DS goes a bit silly and crazy with excitement and the house, spotless before the friend came round, was chaos by the time the friend left. AIBU to expect, at age 8 (year 3) for a friend to come round, for them to stay in DS' bedroom most of the time and have a nice lego session or something?!

These are the things that annoyed me:

DS got a bit cheeky with me, speaking in a silly voice, showing off in front of his friend
The bed was used as a trampoline - which I don't allow. Also some jumping on the sofas and cushions thrown about.
There was running around and slamming of doors. I live in a small flat and don't think there is enough room for running. The airer full of clothes was knocked over.
The key kept being taken out of the bathroom door, guess what, it's now missing so no lock on bathroom door.
I expect some mess, but so many toys were just pulled out and left out with no regard, then playing/messing about with toys on the floor liable to get broken.
Toys scattered about in the kitchen, bathroom and living room.
They went in my bedroom which is out of bounds. Also felt that there was too much going into other rooms, ds has a great room with loads of toys,is there any need to keep going in the other rooms?
They tried to play hide and seek. Which invariably means going into places that I'd rather them not go.
There was arguing. I expect a bit of this but everytime certain friends come over there is arguing/sulking.

Is this just normal, excited, boisterous behavour and am I expecting too much? How does your dc and guests behave?

parakeet Tue 09-Apr-13 23:06:09

Everyone has different rules - I feel some of yours are reasonable and some are not.

It is not unreasonable to say your bedroom is absolutely out of bounds when a friend is over and to come down like a tonne of bricks on this. On the other hand, YABU to expect them to confine themselves to his bedroom. It is his house too y'know. Why shouldn't they go into any of the other rooms? You do.

If they have to be cooped up inside, then tearing around the flat is FUN, and if I were you, I would have made sure we didn't have an airer full of clothes out when a friend comes round.

Bouncing beds for me is a no-no, as is playing with a key. Everything else I would say YABU, even getting out lots of toys. But he should also have to put the toys away afterwards. As for speaking in a silly voice...is that the end of the world?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 09-Apr-13 23:13:25

Yes yabu about them not being free to use the rest of the house especially if you have no garden. But the rest...yanbu...but this is what often happens with young kids...nightmare.

whethergirl Tue 09-Apr-13 23:37:52

As for speaking in a silly voice...is that the end of the world? No of course not, I just found it annoying that I couldn't get a sensible word out of him when I needed to.

I'm not saying that they're not allowed to come out of the bedroom at all, but just feel that the whole house is used as their play space, and considering how loud and boisterous they are, prefer they didn't! But only having the one DS, maybe I'm a bit over sensitive to kids playing together.

TigOldBitties Tue 09-Apr-13 23:43:17

I agree with parakeet to a large extent, I'd also say he is very much just showing off, I think at that sort of age it's typical. Just make him clear up afterwards and come down hard over certain rules, the ones that really matter.

Backtobedlam Tue 09-Apr-13 23:46:27

I usually find first 30mins-1hr is chaotic as they are running round pulling all sorts out. After that they generally settle down a bit, my dc's are a bit younger though so not sure how much difference that makes.

whethergirl Tue 09-Apr-13 23:58:36

I expected it when he was younger Backtobedlam but thought they were old enough to play sensibly now, but looks like I might have been wrong as it seems other kids do it too. If that's the case, then will need to drop my expectations, and as Tigoldbitties says, lay down basic rules, (no going into my room, no cornering the cat, tidying up afterwards, no bouncing on bed).

Feel bad now, as had a bit of a go at ds. He went all melodramatic and insisted I should punish him for being so selfish (victim, much hmm). I told him it wasn't that bad and he should just make it up by tidying up but it would probably be a while before he has a friend over again.

kotinka Wed 10-Apr-13 00:07:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

deleted203 Wed 10-Apr-13 00:13:49

Agree with kontinka. My almost 8 yo DS is a complete nightmare when he has friends over, getting wildly excited and showing off. Sadly your experience echoes pretty much every one of mine when he has a friend over. Jumping around, hide and seek, dragging everything out, creating chaos, running round house/garden, quarrelling, showing off, silly voices, shooting arrows at the dog. Making dens with sofa cushions/duvets - then abandoning them almost immediately. He plays really nicely normally - but with a friend (any friend) they seem to have the attention span of a gnat.

AgentZigzag Wed 10-Apr-13 00:15:05

I was inwardly smiling as I was reading the title thinking YABU grin

Showing off sums it up nicely, not necessarily doing it on purpose, but knowing the rules are different when someone else comes round and playing on that.

I'd be having a serious word, but nothing too OTT, playing sensibly is shit not all it's cracked up to be when you're 8 grin

deleted203 Wed 10-Apr-13 00:15:17

Oh God...and I've got his friend coming Fri...

whethergirl Wed 10-Apr-13 00:20:18

Glad to know it's not just ds then!

Oh another rule, no fecking hide and seek, aka "how to squeeze into the dustiest, most dangerous or most impossible spaces whilst having to empty out whatever was there in the first place."

Yes sowornout, every toy/game lasts about 4 mins (which is spent making a mess!!)

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