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to drop 'friend' constantly asking UR favours. And how?

(12 Posts)
TremoloGreen Tue 09-Apr-13 16:36:07

Despite having a very well paid job and owning 5 properties in London/the SE, this friend never spends a penny on anything (her look out, I know) and even has the audacity to claim to be broke or hard-up. She rents out these properties (at very high rents, I think) but is too tight to maintain them properly or pay a management company so does all the management in her spare time around a full-time demanding job. Her tenants get a raw deal, because the cheap appliances she furnishes them with break down, she then spends ages getting the cheapest possible workmen in to do a bodge job until something else goes wrong.

The latest breakdown is a boiler in one of her flats while she is away (on a 4 month jolly travelling). She is ringing/emailing me urgent messages asking if I can ring plumbers for her, liaise with her tenants about the repairs etc, and telling me how stressed she is about it and she really appreciates it blah blah. I'm 34 weeks pregnant, still working full-time, I'm pretty busy and tired actually and don't see why I should take on the role of unpaid PA. So I've basically said no and pointed her in the direction of a good plumber. This isn't the first time she's asked me this sort of thing and it's all very one-way.

So, AIBU? She is in a real bind, but I feel it's of her own making. I think that really I'm starting to feel that I don't want to continue this friendship generally. How do you actually 'drop' a friend? I've never done it before. I don't make much effort re: meeting up and don't always reply to her emails/calls etc, but she doesn't seem to take the hint and I always feel bad when I get emails from her saying "hello, are you alive??"

Tigresswoods Tue 09-Apr-13 16:38:55

She needs a letting agent to look after the properties. Fool.

fuzzywuzzy Tue 09-Apr-13 16:39:11


Stop answering her calls, tell her no to all favours you really don't want to do.

Don't be available to her.

LineRunner Tue 09-Apr-13 16:43:35

I think you've made the decision that the friendship is over? Then in terms of how you do it, I would be quick and relatively brutal. 'I'm 34 weeks pregnant and need to relax. None of this friendship is working for me now, so let's call it a day. You know how to google for letting agents. Take care and good luck.'

Then ignore her.

Kansas Tue 09-Apr-13 16:44:43

Reply to her emails, "Yes I'm alive. And busy. Hire a PA/letting agency to do your jobs for you."

Pretty sure you wouldn't contact you again after that. What a user.

MostPeopleAreMad Tue 09-Apr-13 16:46:44

YADNBU. You've got more than enough on your plate right now.

As for the 'dropping a friend' bit - well, it seems you've tried to do that in a passive way but she's oblivious... I think that, once your baby arrives, you'll have a perfectly good reason not to keep in contact if you don't want to. You'll have plenty of other stuff to be getting on with grin Oh, and congratulations! flowers

DontmindifIdo Tue 09-Apr-13 16:49:21

YANBU - one word reply to next request - "no"

DontmindifIdo Tue 09-Apr-13 16:50:09

Or better - just dump her calls, don't reply to e-mails/texts, refuse to discuss. You don't actually owe her an explaination.

popebenedictsp45 Tue 09-Apr-13 16:51:49

Did she seriously think that nothing would happen in any of her properties during the course of her four-month jaunt?? She is either naive or stupid. You are right to refuse her requests.

quoteunquote Tue 09-Apr-13 17:08:43

A big part of our business is doing what your friend is expecting you to do for free,

She is doing it all totally wrong, she will always have a stressful time running things the way she is, it will be costing her far more to do things this way.

We charge a small monthly retainer per client, which gets you perfect maintenance, instant trades attendance, all problems solved,no stress, you get charged labour and parts, but you don't have to do anything.

It's a heating engineer she needs, if she was a good client then she would have a wonderful one who would do all of her servicing, who would be there in a shot. she is an irresponsible nightmare, who does not care about her tenants.

Does the boiler have a service certificate on it? I would check that, before becoming involved. If it does tell her to phone the person who gave the service and certificate. It must of been recently, or she is breaking the law.

so say NO, if she can phone you she can phone anyone,

why does she think her life is more important than yours?

TremoloGreen Tue 09-Apr-13 17:13:00

Ha, thanks! I might go with something between Kansas and Linerunner's responses next time I hear form her.

Popebenedict - I know, right?? Totally irresponsible. If it were me, I would have at the very least had left all the tenants a list of numbers and the arrangements for getting anything sorted out and paid for. But really, I think it's exploitative. She charges them the super-high market rates they would pay if they went through an estate agent, then offers them a crappy service.

quoteunquote Tue 09-Apr-13 17:21:47

Stupid business sense as it cost a lot to keep changing tenants, far more profitable to keep them happy.

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