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To be concerned my friend seemed pissed off after I looked after her DD?

(237 Posts)
AuntFini Tue 09-Apr-13 15:51:37

I took my friend's DD (23 months) out for the day today to give my friend a chance to prepare for her parents and siblings visiting for the week. I have no kids.

We went to a farm and I took her for lunch, and after 4 hours went back to meet my friend at the coach station where she was meeting family. By this point her DD was asleep in her car seat in my car, exhausted. My friends asked where her DD was and I said asleep and she seemed really cross. She moved her DD (still sleeping, in carseat) to her car, got in and left.

I'm left feeling a bit confused as to what I've done on this one!

JambalayaCodfishPie Wed 10-Apr-13 11:02:34

Genuinely don't understand how people can fail to appreciate such a good friend when they have one.

What sort of self centred world must they inhabit?

Oblomov Wed 10-Apr-13 11:16:30

The woman is an ungrateful loon.
As agreed, every baby and child falls asleep from a day out at park/legoland/etc at aged 2 mths or aged 11 and 3/4.
And trying to keep a tired baby from falling asleep is nigh on impossible and tiring to you, so most of us give up on that one after a few attempts.

JollyPurpleGiant Wed 10-Apr-13 11:30:06

Mad! If someone has my DS (only ever my mother, really) I give clear instructions if there is anything that would piss me off. If I haven't given clear instructions then it is my fault for not making the position clear.

If you want to come and take my nearly 2 year old out for the day then please feel free, OP. NE Scotland might be a bit of a trek for you though!

clam Wed 10-Apr-13 11:33:49

I'd love to know how she manages to stop her child from sleeping in the car, particularly after a busy day out. My two were invariably asleep on a trip to Tesco, before we even got to the end of the road. In fact, they're now teenagers, and still drop off on car journeys!

GreyWhites Wed 10-Apr-13 11:57:41

I would just like to join with everyone else here to say that, as someone who does have children, I do not understand your friend's vile behaviour either. I would be overjoyed to have a trusted friend take care of my DS for the day. I certainly wouldn't expect them to be able to keep him to his usual schedule (even if I did brief them about it beforehand which it sounds like your friend didn't).

For instance this week my parents looked after DS for the morning whilst I went out to do some things. They knew he needed a morning nap but didn't manage to get him to sleep. I was totally fine about this, kids don't always work to a schedule, and especially when they're not in their usual routine or with different people. I definitely would never in a million years assume a friend had failed to feed a child in their care. If I even suspected they might, I'd never have left my child with them in the first place.

IN brief: YANBU. Your friend is a total and utter cow.

Eeeeeowwwfftz Wed 10-Apr-13 14:08:10

OP - add us to your list of clients too.

If you need any further perspective - which you probably don't by now - it's difficult to time things "right" with your own child when you're with them for only part of the day, let alone someone else's. Our 2yo spends the odd morning with the childminder on the day that I'm at home so I can get stuff done. Even though we'll have a chat about whether he's slept, what he's eaten, etc, it's still very difficult to know when he'll be winding down for a(nother) nap or will be raring to go. The signals are much easier to read if you've been in each other's company all day, know exactly what was eaten and when, when he was last active etc. I almost always find that a nap happens when I least expect it. E.g., I make arrangements to meet for a coffee and he immediately decides to do a 2hr nap. Or he looks tired so I try and settle him down and he decides he really wants to be running around in the park. So certainly don't feel you should have "known"...

Personally, I'd be minded to send an invoice.

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 10-Apr-13 14:14:41

I've just read this thread and I'm utterly shock about your 'friend'.
I'd be so tempted to send her a copy of the whole thread.
And you sound lovely Op.

HeadfirstForHalos Wed 10-Apr-13 15:02:59

Every parent knows a toddler will fall asleep in the car after a busy day out, it's normal. She is just being vile.

SweetSeraphim Wed 10-Apr-13 22:37:47

Good lord, there are some cunts about, aren't there?

Bearbehind Wed 10-Apr-13 22:43:58

What a selfish cow! So she wanted her daughter to sleep on the way out with you so you got the grumpy, just woken up shift and she got the sweetness and light shift when her daughter came back.

I do hope you tell her where to go if she dares to call on your services again!

Squitten Wed 10-Apr-13 22:46:05

OMG! Your friend is a total cow! If she knew anything about children herself, she'd be aware that when a child wants to sleep, especially in a car, there's naff all you can do about it!

Glad you stood up for yourself and definitely keep your distance from that one and come and be my friend!

Plomino Thu 11-Apr-13 09:41:38

Wow! I can't believe you've been so restrained ! My text back would have read 'fuck off you terrible cunt . Hun . '

BTW , my oldest two still fall asleep on any car journey over 20 mins . They're 13 and 15 . But you can take them out if you wish , I won't even make you feed them !

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